Na Hoaloha Me Pono
by Bugsbunnyaloha
Summary: Steve has many friends, but only a few he considers family. Sarah was one of those few. She respected it, never allowing her true feelings to get in the way knowing he'd never see her as anything more. She hid it well, until the night she crossed the line, leaving them both startled over their feelings that arose from the aftermath. The question now is, where do they go from here?
1. Chapter 1

Steve came into headquarters followed by Danny. They stopped at the front desk and he set down a large manila envelope with the word 'Evidence' scribbled on the front. It was the last piece of business from the case they had just closed.

"Hey John," he said to the officer behind the counter, "Can you log this for me please? The case number in on the cover sheet."

"Sure Commander."

"Thanks." He went to turn when a wadded up piece of paper hit him in the chest. He looked over in the direction it came from and held his arms out wide, "What?"

"Don't what me," Sarah Hickey said as she came from around her desk. She was one of only a few people who worked on the first floor of the station that was not an actual police officer. She worked as a processor that logged the cases once the evidence was passed over from the arresting officer to another. It was examined and then the paperwork was given to her. She loved the atmosphere and the people she worked with but had no desire to be a police officer herself.

Steve groaned as she came toward him, knowing he was in trouble. Her auburn hair was up in a ponytail that day which was a second choice of two; the other was a semi-loose bun. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen it down before. The thin frame glasses she only wore while working matched the color of her hair and made her face seem longer than it actually was. The freckles on her cheeks were more apparent than usual which told him she had been out in the sun recently. Her white teeth weren't perfect but the smile that illuminated from her made him smile every time he saw it. She was a couple of inches shorter than he was and always wore clothes that seemed a size too big for her small frame. She was plain-looking by most opinions but she had the personality that could suck you in, and she was fine with that, knowing most men always saw her as one of the boys first and then a woman second. They just never looked at her any other way.

"I swear," Steve said, holding up his hands as she approached from around the counter, "I'll bring it tomorrow."

"I can't believe you would lie to my face like that."

He tried a new approach for an excuse. "I've been really busy on this case."

Sarah looked over at Danny as he leaned against a desk and checked the messages on his phone. He didn't even bother looking up to reply. "We weren't that busy."

Steve glared at him. "Thanks for the backup. Partner!"

Danny replied by giving him a thumbs up on his free hand.

She looked back at Steve with a scowl.

He pulled up his best smile trying to patronize her. "Sarah," he said, oozing with sweetness. "Who's your favorite detective, huh?"

"Danny," she replied grinning.

Danny grinned and pointed at her with his eyes still focused on his phone screen.

"Danny," Steve practically laughed, "that's a lie." He came over and put his arm around her shoulder. "You're trying to hurt me aren't you?"

"When Danny asks me for a special favor and says he'll bring me a Puka Dog in return," she glanced over her shoulder at him, "he always brings it the next day."

Steve and Sarah both looked at him as he blew on his knuckles and then rubbed them on his shirt as if giving himself a pat on the back.

Steve growled at him and turned Sarah so she couldn't see him anymore. "I'm sorry. I know I owe you. How about if Friday night at happy hour, it's my treat."

"He never brings his wallet," Danny blurted out.

"I know," Sarah laughed.

"Will you shut up!" Steve blasted him and then quickly focused back on Sarah. "I swear," he held his hand up, "I will bring my wallet and I'll buy. I promise."

She crossed her arms and walked back towards her desk. "Okay, we'll see."

He started walking backwards with Danny toward the stairs, "Friday night," he called out, "Donner's. The checks mine."

She sat down at her desk and watched him climb the stairs up toward the Five 0 offices. She felt that familiar flutter that he always gave her whenever they were together. She sighed, focusing on her computer deciding not to go there, she had too much work to do, besides it was a waste of emotion to feel over someone that was so completely unattainable and so out of her league it was laughable.

She looked over the top of her computer and saw John smiling at her. She smiled back and ducked down like she was busy. He was the type of man she should have been attracted too, the same as he was to her. He didn't set his sights on impossible women like Katie Harper for instance. Sarah looked over at her as she stood at the printer. Her long tanned legs looked stunning in the blue skirt she had on with her dark hair hanging perfectly down her back. She was in Steve's league, Sarah thought, if she only looked half as pretty as Katie he would be falling at her feet. Katie probably could have had him too if she wanted, but to Sarah's relief Katie had a girlfriend. She was pleased about that, because she wasn't sure she would be able to stand watching them together. Sarah laughed to herself thinking if she were gay she probably would have tried for Katie too, she just didn't know her limitations.

Steve was a good fantasy, but in reality it was also working against her. She never dated because of her crazy crush, not that she would ever admit her lack of a social life was because of him. She blamed it on her lack of girl qualities that attracted the opposite sex. She grew up with four older brothers and spent more time playing football then painting her nails. She could walk, talk and play like one of the boys, but when a pretty girl walked by and the men she was with all stopped and took notice she would cringe, knowing none of them saw her that way. She was a buddy, not a girl.

Still, if she could have given her left arm for just one man to notice her that way, it would have been Steve, but that arm would just have to stay intact because they had crossed over to the 'friend zone' a long time before, and that was her reality with him and that's all she had resolved it would ever be. He saw her as a little sister, the same as Danny and all the rest of them. She glanced over her computer again at John, '_well except for him_,' she thought, wishing she were even the slightest bit attracted to him. He was a nice guy.

"Happy Hour with Steve on Friday huh," Carol, another evidence processor said, squatting down next to Sarah's chair.

Sarah smiled at her, "We're just friends."

"I know but every girl in here is jealous of that friendship. Well, except for maybe Katie," she chuckled. "We all wish he'd put his arm around us."

"He doesn't mean anything by it."

"Come on Sarah," she pushed. "He's a cute guy, nice smile, good body. He could see you that way too if you'd just give him a chance." She nudged her. "Show off the goods a little."

Sarah laughed at her. She had sexy clothes that hung in her closet, but that's where they remained, in her closet with the tags still on them. She just couldn't bring herself to wear them out of the house. Being raised with all boys and growing up in jeans and T-shirts might have seemed normal for her back then, but it was a curse now. She never felt comfortable showing off her body. She was still one of the only people her age on the beach in Hawaii that wore a one-piece bathing suit, besides the ones that really should have and even some of them still braved the bikini. "There is nothing under here to show off, and besides," she lied, "I don't see him that way either. It would be too weird to date him."

"Well, if I were twenty years younger I would have at least given it a shot."

Sarah looked over her shoulder at her, "Maybe your husband will give you a free pass."

"Or maybe I could live vicariously through you." Carol patted her arm before she walked off. "You need a boyfriend." She playfully pointed at John who simultaneously dropped an armful of papers as they scattered on the floor in front of her desk.

Carol laughed at the timing of it as Sarah got down and helped him clean up the mess.

"Thanks Sarah," he said blushing. "They just slipped out of the clip."

"Happens to me too," she lied, not wanting him to feel foolish. She looked up at him and smiled, but felt the same for him that she knew Steve felt for her, nothing.

'_Mother Nature is a bitch from hell_,' she thought humorously.

* * *

Sarah sat across from Steve in Donner's Bar. They were alone after the others had just left. She reached for the last chip that had been a pile of chicken nachos a half hour earlier, popping it in her mouth and then washing it down with the remains of her Long Board beer. The waitress set the check down and as Steve went to reach for it Sarah put her hand over it first. "Hold on."

"What? I thought I was buying?" He gave her a wry smile, reaching in his back pocket and displaying his wallet. "I brought it, see!"

Sarah chuckled over that joke. "I knew you would, but," she bit her bottom lip, "I was hoping that maybe you would let me pay. I kind of changed my mind on the return favor."

Steve sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "You are just now telling me this? Good strategy, wait until I'm relaxed with a full belly."

Sarah grinned because that is exactly how she had planned it.

He motioned with his hand for her to bring it on. "Okay, come on, let me have it."

"Well," she said, "as you know I do some volunteer work up at Queen's hospital."

He nodded, "Yeah, very commendable." He could sense a community service to be in his near future.

"There is this little six year old boy named Jacob that comes in for treatment. He has leukemia." She saw his face wince over that piece of information. "He asks me all the time about police stuff. He's just a fanatic his mom said about police shows and movies. I guess whenever he sees a police officer he freaks out."

He raised an eyebrow, patiently waiting for her request, "Okay."

"So…I was wondering if you guys would be willing to take him on a ride or let him come up and spend a few hours with you?"

Steve shrugged, "Sure, we could do that?"

"You would?" she said overly pleased and a little surprised at the quick yes.

"Of course, it would be pretty cool." He leaned forward resting his arms on the table, "You know what would be one better, is if we made up a case and let him solve it."

"Oh my god," Sarah exclaimed, "that would be so great! You are going to love him Steve, he's the cutest little thing in the world." She clapped her hands happily. "I'm so glad you agreed to this."

He looked at her oddly, "Why would you think I wouldn't?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I just know how busy you are."

"This is going to be fun. To tell you the truth, I thought you were going to say the pediatric wing needed new dry wall or something like that."

Sarah laughed reaching for the check. "I would have cornered Danny for that one."

Steve grabbed the bill before she could, pulling out his credit card. "See," he said knowingly, "I knew I was your favorite."

Sarah rolled her eyes at him; "I like you both equally for different reasons."

He handed the bill to the waitress who Sarah caught looking at him again in that familiar way, trying to pass on some vibe. Women were always doing that. The part she hated the most was the way they looked at her. She could just read their minds, wondering what SHE was doing with HIM.

"You have to say that," Steve continued, "like a mom has to say she loves both her kids equally. You would never admit that one of your big brothers was your favorite but you have one, and Danny's the little sister you always wanted."

She laughed with him on that one, but it stung a little too, it was the first time he ever actually verbally compared himself as a brother to her, but just as she had expected, that's exactly how he felt.

He waited for the waitress to return with his card, looking at Sarah as she walked to the bathroom before they left. He couldn't help but remember the last time they had been in this bar together. It had been her birthday a little over a month before and he and Danny had arrived late for the party after closing a case. She was sitting at the bar with a couple of officers from work and he laughed remembering her turning on the bar stool to greet them and almost falling off. They had been steadily buying her drinks and it was obvious she was drunk.

"Don't let her drink anymore," he warned them as they set another shot of tequila down in front of her. "Come on guys," he laughed, moving it before she could see it.

"I can drink them under table," she slurred, "under this table," she corrected herself, slapping her hand on the bar, unknowingly knocking over a bowl of popcorn. The two at the bar with her cracked up as they scooped up the mess.

"I'm sure you could," Danny agreed, "if they were drinking too!" He reached over and playfully shoved one of them on the shoulder. "She's going to puke if you don't knock it off."

"I have to go to the bathroom," Sarah announced, sliding off the bar stool and putting a hand on Danny's shoulder as she wobbled.  
"Got it there sister?" he said, holding her by the arm.

She let go, steadying herself and then smiled brightly, "No problem." They watched her walk toward the bathroom and almost run into a wood beam, but catching herself at the last second. They both turned and glared at the accomplices.

"We got to take off," one laughed. "You guys get the second half."

Steve recalled sitting at the bar, finishing off his first beer, knowing she was going to need looking after. The two that had done the damage had left early and he and Danny and a couple of others still remained to finish off her birthday celebration, even though he was pretty sure she wouldn't remember any of it the next morning. He watched her stand at the jukebox trying to pick out songs with the money he'd given her. She had one hand braced against the glass dome and the other holding a plain diet coke even though he told her it was rum and coke, forgoing an argument that it was her birthday and all. She had no clue.

Do you want to do rock, paper, scissors to see who's getting her home tonight?" Danny asked him.

Steve laughed, "No, you have to pay a babysitter. I'll take her." He looked back over at her as Tommy; a rookie in their department who was standing dangerously close to her. She looked over at him and laughed at something he said as he moved a little closer, whispering something to her and then she laughed again. This time his hand went on her back and slowly made its way south.

"What the hell," Danny said, setting his beer down.

"I got it," Steve said, coming off the bar stool and walking toward the jukebox. By the time he got there, Tommy's hand had already begun to gently caress her. He leaned against the machine and glared at him. "Hey Tommy. You have a drink somewhere waiting for you?"

He looked up, seeing it was Steve and stood erect, quickly taking his hand off of Sarah. "Hey Commander. Ahh, yeah, I have one over by the pool table."

"You better get back to it then before something prevents you from being able to finish it."

He nodded and smiled at Sarah, "Bye Sarah."

She looked over her shoulder at him as he walked away. "What?" She looked back at Steve, blinking several times trying to get him in focus. "He was nice."

"He wasn't nice Sarah," he said, shaking his head as he led her back to the bar by her forearm.

"Yes he was. He wanted to talk to me."

"He was taking advantage of you being drunk."

She laughed, "No he wasn't. How do you know?"

Steve and Danny both stared at her, grinning as if telling her, they knew! She turned around and yelled out at him. "You big jerk!"

"Okay," Danny said, throwing some money on the bar. "I think we call it a night."

"Agreed," Steve said, taking her by the arm again as Danny grabbed her purse. "Say good night to the birthday girl," he yelled to the patrons that were still hanging out. They cheered her on as she waved over her shoulder while being led out of the bar, yelling just a little too loud. "Good night! Happy Birthday!" She looked up at Steve and laughed, "It's my birthday." She started giggling over her mistake. "Did you hear that," she could barely contain herself. "I said happy birthday to them, but it's my birthday."

"Yes," Steve said humoring her, "that was very funny."

Danny leaned over and kissed her cheek before departing to his car. "Happy Birthday Sarah. Sorry you won't remember it."

"Danny!" she yelled out, grabbing him around the neck and hugging him. "Thank you for coming! You're the best! The best! The best!"

He winced from the tight hold, looking over her shoulder at Steve's amusement over her drunkenness. Danny mouthed the words. "She's going to puke in your truck," and then grinned as Steve's smile slowly faded over that piece of information.

She let go and stumbled backwards as they both reached out, steadying her. "I think I drank too much," she mumbled as the parking lot began to spin.

Danny opened the truck door as Steve held her around the waist with one arm, tossing her purse in the front seat. "You got this?" he laughed as her eyes began to flutter.

"Yeah, but if she pukes I'm going to kill her," he said jokingly.

"Good luck." Danny waved over his shoulder as he headed to his car.

Sarah looked at up at him, "Are we leaving?"

"Yes. Get in." He watched as she tried to step up on the side rail of his truck and then slipped off. "Come on tipsy," he chuckled, taking her arm and wrapping it around his shoulder, lifting her and setting her inside on the seat. He went to pull away as she spoke to him.

"You are soooo cute. You know how cute you are?"

He just laughed over her slurring of the words and not necessarily the meaning.

She grabbed on to his shirt as he reached over to do her seat belt. "I love you Steve."

"I love you too Sarah," he said amusing her as he locked her in and made sure it was secure. He went to get out and she held on firmly to his shirt.

"No!" she shook her head, trying to get her point across. "Me," she put one hand on her chest and then on his, "love you. I'm love with you."

He stared at her as she tried to focus on him for about three seconds and then her head began to bob up and down and her eyes became heavy until it finally fell forward. "Sarah?" he asked, bending down, seeing that she clearly had passed out. He stood just outside her door, trying to decipher the words that just came out of her mouth. '_She's drunk_,' he told himself, not wanting to admit what he heard. He never had, nor could he see her in that way. She was Sarah. She was like Mary. He shook his head closing the door, '_She's just a happy, loving drunk_.'

He watched her walk back toward the table from the restrooms as he slipped his credit card back into his wallet. He never mentioned that incident to her or anyone else. He quizzed her the next day on what she remembered about the night before and it was very little. She had no recollection of even leaving the bar that night, so he knew she didn't remember that. He just let it go; telling himself again it was because she was drunk. She had never given him any kind of signal that she ever saw him any other way than a friend.

"Are you ready?' she asked, standing next to the table.

He pushed his chair back and stood up. "Yep." The thought slipped out of his mind as she leaned into him.

"I think that waitress would have forgone a tip for a date."

He looked over at her. "What?"

"Never mind," she chuckled, loving the fact that he was completely oblivious to the chaos he caused over women. It made him even more appealing, which she hated.

He was more occupied by the fact that she was trying to hook him up than he was to take a second look back at the waitress. It only solidified his thoughts that Sarah saw him as friend and nothing more.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve came from around his desk and walked out to the common area of the station as Sarah, Jacob and his mother all came walking down the hall. Danny and the others joined him, all anticipating this day. They had been planning it for over a week and everything was in place.

They looked at the small boy who had on jeans and a blue T-shirt with HPD printed across the front in bold white letters. Sarah had had it made for him. He was six but didn't look like a typical six-year old. He wore a University of Hawaii baseball hat, but underneath you could clearly see he had no hair. His eyes were blue and stood out because his eyebrows were also missing due to his recent doses of chemotherapy. He looked smaller than six and his skin was pale but it was the excitement on his face as he took in his surroundings that took away from everything that was negative in his appearance. He literally glowed with anticipation of the day.

"Hi Jacob," Steve said, bending over to his level. "I'm Commander McGarrett." He stuck his hand out. "Nice to met you."

"Hi," he said, taking his hand and shaking it, but his eyes were fixated on the gun and badge on his hip.

"Hey, nice grip," Steve said, looking over his shoulder at Danny. "He's pretty strong."

"Good," Danny said, kneeling down on one knee in front him. "We need an extra pair of hands around here today." He reached his hand out. "I'm Detective Danny Williams. Let me see that hand shake."

Jacob moved in his direction, looking at his badge and gun too. "Hi," he said, shaking his hand.

Danny eyed him playfully while he shook his hand. "Quick, Jacob! What is the first thing you say to a bad guy when you want him to stop moving?"

Jacob's expression became bewildered as if he were confused at first by the question but his eyes came alive as he quickly blurted out the answer. "Freeze!"

Steve and Danny both looked at each other and nodded.

"He'll do," Danny said with a serious expression.

Steve squatted down in front of him. "We have a little problem today Jacob. We weren't supposed to have any cases today because you were coming, but the Governor called a few minutes ago and he needs us to look into a robbery that occurred. It has to be solved today. Would it be all right if you came along with us instead of staying here at the station?"

His mouth hung open with shock over the idea of spending the day on a real case. He looked up at his mother who nodded her approval, knowing the plan already. He slowly nodded his head as he wrapped his mind around the thought of seeing a real crime scene. "I won't get in the way," he promised.

Steve and Danny both smiled. "We work as a team around here," Steve said, "so if you come with us, then you are apart of the team and we need to know if you have something to say. So you have to promise to speak up if you see something. Okay?"

He couldn't believe his good luck. "Okay," he said almost breathless. "I know what to do. You can't touch anything without gloves on and you have to look for fingerprints."

"He's smart," Chin said, kneeling down next to Steve. "I'm Detective Chin." He motioned to Kono who squatted down too as all four of them hovered around him at his level. "This is Officer Kono."

"How you doing Jacob?"

"Hi," he said, shaking their hand too, his eyes darting back and forth to all of them, seeing each one of them as hero in his eyes. They were larger than life.

Steve stood up, "We have to make this official if he is going to be with us today." The others joined him as they stood, all facing Jacob as he stared up at them. "Jacob Maloney, raise your right hand."

He went to raise his left and then paused, trying to remember which was which. He held a pencil in his right hand, he knew that and quickly switched hands, checking with his mother for approval. She nodded, trying to look serious. He focused back on Steve with his hand up.

"Do you solemnly swear to uphold the laws of the State of Hawaii and be apart of the Five 0 team and promise to help in any way possible to solve the crimes that will be put before you on this day?"

Jacob nodded.

Sarah leaned down, whispering to him. "Say, I will."

"I will!" he quickly added.

"And do you also promise that you will serve and protect the duties of the office you are about to enter and to protect the people who you will be serving with?"

Jacob's eyes widened as he swallowed, "I will."

"Then Jacob Maloney," Steve saluted him, "welcome to Five 0."

Chin squatted down and clipped a badge on Jacob's belt. "Welcome to the team."

Jacob touched it carefully as if it might break, rubbing his fingers over the emblem. "Look Mom!" He turned to her, sticking his hip out, showing it off.

She smiled over his excitement as tears welled in her eyes, knowing how much this meant to him. "You have a very important job to do today Jacob. Be respectful."

"I will," he nodded. "You don't have to stay Mom," he told her, feeling confident with his new friends.

She looked at Sarah as they smiled to each other. On the way in he had made her promise to stay with him, incase he got scared.

"Okay, I'll pick you up later," she said, bending over and kissing his cheek. "You get those bad guys."

He hugged her around the neck. "We will. Bye Mom."

Steve walked with she and Sarah to the exit as the others took Jacob to Danny's office.

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate this," she said, glancing over her shoulder hearing him laugh. "He hasn't been this excited about anything in a long, long time."

"Trust me," Steve assured her, "we're going to have just as much fun as he is."

Sarah turned to him before leaving; "Have fun," she grinned, knowing him and also knowing his words were true that he was going to have just as much fun as Jacob. The enthusiasm and enjoyment that he held while they planned it out was undeniable. She had to reel him back on a couple of ideas as he tried to talk her into letting him do a car chase. She put her foot down on that, reminding him again that Jacob was only six. Still, she was glad she had brought him on board and was already impressed by his easygoing nature with the boy. It was a shame she thought, wondering if he would ever settle down, he'd make a good father. She pointed at him as they left. "He's six," she reminded him again.

"I know," he said annoyed, but with a smile. "His gun won't be loaded." He winked at her as she glared at him. "I'm kidding."

She waved a finger at him angrily for scaring her like that.

* * *

Steve handed Jacob a pair of black surgical gloves as they approached Kono's front door. They used her house as the crime scene and one of she and Steve's surfing buddies had volunteered to be the bad guy who was meeting them at Kamakona's stand at two o'clock for the take down.

"What are we looking for Jacob?" he asked.

"Umm," he said trying to concentrate on that question and get the sticky glove on his hand.

Steve looked down and stifled his laugh at the sight of his little fingers that were in the wrong holes on the glove. He stopped and knelt down on one knee in front of him, taking the glove back off. He held it open for him to just slip his fingers in. "Here, now try."

Jacob grinned as the glove went on easily. He answered his question for him as they did the same with the next hand. "We need to look for finger prints and how he got inside and what they took."

"Good!" he replied impressed. "You do know your stuff don't you?"  
"I watch a lot of police stuff. I want to be a policeman when I grow up."

Steve looked up at the pale and sickly face of the young boy, hoping his wish would come true. "Well today you are." He stood up and motioned for him to go inside first, "so let's get to work."

Each one of them walked Jacob through a job in the house. Danny showed him how to take prints off the backdoor knob. Kono and he took pictures of the shoe print in the mud by the back door and matched it up with the mud track on the kitchen floor. Chin and Steve both walked him through the house, explaining how they would look for evidence and clues that could lead them to the bad guy. Steve picked up a used napkin off the floor in the living room from Kamakona's shrimp truck and examined it. "What do you think?" he asked Jacob. "Is this from the owner of the house or maybe from the criminal?"

Jacob looked it over closely, bracing his hands on his knees, not touching it but just scanning it with his eyes.

Steve and Chin smiled at each other over the intensity on his face.

"I don't know," he said, "we should keep it though and see if there are any prints on it?" He looked up at Steve for clarification.

"Or, if maybe he wiped his mouth on it? Then we would have what?"

Jacob knew that answer, he'd heard it lots of times but just couldn't think of the three letters. "PDA?" he asked with a scrunched up face, not sure if that was right or not.

"Close," Chin said. "DNA."

Jacob focused back on the napkin and nodded. "It looks like there might be some DNA on here."

"Bag it Jacob," Steve ordered.

Jacob took out a small bag from the police kit that Steve had put together for him. It consisted of evidence bags, a pen, more gloves, a pair of handcuffs and a candy bar. Jacob took out the bag and opened it as Steve dropped it inside.

"Now you have to tag it."

He took the pen and knelt down on the floor, laying the bag out flat so the white label part was lying flat. He took out his black marker and looked up at them. "What should I write?"

"Napkin," Steve said.

Jacob's face looked confused.

"How about just DNA?" Chin offered up knowing he probably didn't know how to spell napkin.

"Ok," Jacob said, carefully writing out the letters.

Steve slapped Chin on the arm and nodded as if saying good catch.

"I think we're done here Jacob. What do you think?" Steve asked him.

He looked up at him. "Maybe we should talk to the people next door. Maybe they saw someone come in."

They both looked at each other, not prepared for that. The kid defiantly knew his stuff. "Well it happened in the morning while everyone was at work," Steve said, "and no one called it in, so I don't think the neighbors saw anything."

Chin agreed, hoping to throw Jacob off. "I think you're right Steve. I think that's a dead end, but a good suggestion Jacob."

"We need to head back to the station and get the fingerprints in the system and check for any DNA on that napkin," Steve said as if that was an urgent task.

"Ok," Jacob agreed, forgetting about the neighbors. "Here's the napkin." He held the bag up for Steve.

"Keep that evidence in your box for safe keeping."

He was thrilled to be given such an important task, knowing without evidence that the criminal could go free. "I won't lose it," he said confidently, closing the top to his supply box and holding it with both hands.

* * *

Steve and Danny squatted down behind the Camaro with Jacob next to them. Chin and Kono were on the other side of the parking lot at Kamakona's Shrimp Truck, waiting to finish out this imaginary crime they had arranged for Jacob.

"That looks like him," Danny said, holding up the picture of Steve and Kono's buddy they printed back at the station after pretending to run the prints. He showed it to Jacob. "What do you think?"

Jacob looked at the picture and then carefully peeked his head over the hood of the Camaro at the man sitting on the bench, eating shrimp out of a Styrofoam container. He quickly ducked back down again, "That's him!" Jacob nodded enthusiastically, "It's him!"

Steve spoke into his radio to Chin and Kono. "He's our man. Blue shirt, white shorts, siting at the picnic table."

"Roger that," Kono replied.

"Ok," Steve said, looking over at Jacob, "Danny and I are going to go in and take him down and then I want you to come in and read him his rights."

"Me?" Jacob asked wide-eyed. "You want me to do it?"

"Yes," Danny said, "you are apart of the team aren't you?"

Jacob nodded, grinning. "Yes."

"If you don't think you can," Steve started when he was interrupted.

"I can do it!" Jacob quickly jumped in, not wanting to miss this opportunity. "I know the words."

"Ok then," Steve grinned over at Danny. "Let's do this."

They both stood up as Steve put a hand on Jacob's shoulder telling him to stay. "As soon as we get him down, you come out. Got it?"

"Got it," he said, "you guys be careful."

Danny bent over to him. "If he comes this way, show him your badge and tell him to freeze! All right?"

"Ok," he said almost breathless over the situation they were about to encounter.

Steve and Danny walked over toward Duncan as Jacob watched over the hood of the car.

"This is going pretty well," Danny chuckled.

"I know. He seems to be having fun."

"He's eating it up."

"Wait until he gets to make the bust," Steve grinned, "I hope Duncan pulls this off right. It'll be the best part of the day."

Just then Duncan looked up at them as they approached. He looked beyond them, seeing the kid behind the car.

"Hey!" Steve said to him, speaking loud enough for Jacob to hear. "Duncan Higashi?"

Duncan stood up, "Yeah, who wants to know?"

"Five 0," Danny said, showing his badge. "You're under arrest."

A group of bystanders looked startled over the situation unfolding, which only delighted Steve and Danny, adding to the drama.

Duncan turned and ran toward the shrimp truck, picking up a garbage can and tossing it in their direction. He made his way around the other side as Steve and Danny went after him, trying to make it a good show. He came around the other side and toward Danny's car with the two of them right behind him. Jacob stood up from behind and held his badge up, "Freeze!" He screamed and then backed up away from him just as quickly.

Duncan froze in his tracks, acting surprised just as Steve and Danny both grabbed him from behind and laid him out on top of the Camaro, face down.

"Nice job, Jacob!" Steve said, holding Duncan by the back of the neck, forcing his head down.

"Hey," he whispered to him. "A little less force."

Steve let up as Danny turned his head trying to stifle his laugh.

Steve pulled him back up as Duncan gave him a look. "Sorry buddy," Steve mumbled to him. "Had to make it look good for the kid."

"That's going to cost you another pitcher of brew," Duncan whispered back and then continued on with the game. "What the heck is some kid out here doing your job?"

"This is Jacob," Danny said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "He's a new team member and he out smarted you didn't he, stupid?"

"I could have got away if it wasn't for him," Duncan growled.

Chin and Kono came running up. "Nice job Jacob!" They both praised him.

Jacob stood next to Danny as Steve put the cuffs on him, making sure he didn't do it too tightly. "You got something to say to him Jacob?"

He looked up at Steve and then over to Danny and the others.

"Go ahead," Danny nudged him. "You know the rules. He has to hear his rights."

"Yeah!" Duncan said angrily, "I have rights, but what are they?"

Jacob took in a deep breath and began the ritual he'd said over and over while playing. "You have the right to remain silent…"

The bystanders, who thought they were getting a real life encounter, quickly realized the situation at hand and a couple of them clapped over his efforts.

Steve smiled over at the other three as they all grinned over the success of their mission for the day. Kono held up her cell phone, recording it for his mother to see. He got through the wording doing the best job he could, considering he was only six. Duncan bent his head at one point, trying to act mad but was more or less trying to hide his smile over Jacob's serious nature. He truly believed with all his heart he was making the bust.

Steve handed him over to Chin and Kono. "Take him back to headquarters and book him."

"You got it Boss," Chin said, bumping fists with Jacob. "Nice job today. You were a lot of help."

"Thanks," Jacob said almost bouncing off the ground with excitement. "You did good too."

"I'm thirsty," Steve said, "who's up for some shaved ice to celebrate the closing of this case?"

Jacob looked up at him, raising his hand. "Me!"

"Okay Buddy." He put a hand on his shoulder, guiding him over to the shrimp truck. "What's your favorite flavor?"

"What kind do you like?" he asked.

"Hmm," Steve thought, not having a shaved ice in years. "I think it would have to be banana and strawberry."

"I like that," Jacob announced, wanting to emulate him. "I'll have that too."

Steve glanced over his shoulder at Danny, "What about you? Tuttie Fruttie maybe?" he grinned at him teasingly.

Danny caught the plug but didn't give him the satisfaction. "There is only one flavor of shaved ice, and that's vanilla."

"Vanilla?" Steve laughed. "Come on Danno, live a little. Throw some kiwi or mango in there."

"You eat yours your way and I'll eat mine my way. Don't knock it till you try it."

"I like vanilla too," Jacob blurted out.

"See, "Danny put a hand on his shoulder. "I think I found a new partner."

Steve turned and picked up Jacob under the arms; lifting him until he they were eye level. "Hey! Are you trying muscle in on my job?"

"No!" Jacob laughed.

"You better not be." He gently shook him, making him laugh even harder.

"Can I come back again sometime and help you with another case?" he asked as Steve set him on the top the picnic table in front of the truck.

"Sure," Danny said, "you're one of us now."

"Hey," Steve said, getting out his wallet, "have you ever been fishing Jacob?"

"No."

He glanced over at Danny with raised eyebrows, asking his permission.

"How would you like to come with us this Saturday?" Danny said, holding his hand out for money from Steve. "We're taking a friends boat out and if your Mom is okay with it, you can come along."

"Yes! Yes!" he said with wide eyes.

Steve held his cash out, showing he only had a hundred. Danny snatched it from him. "I'm sure he's got change. He just finished the lunch shift."

"I want the change back too," Steve said adamantly as Danny walked toward the truck.

"Are we going out in the ocean to fish?" Jacob asked.

"Yep. Sarah is coming too."

"Yay! I like Sarah. You have to make my Mom say yes," he begged. "Please! I want to go real bad."

Steve laughed over his enthusiasm, "I'll do my best." He knew it was just Jacob and his mom and that there was no Father in the picture. He wasn't sure if he even lived on the islands. Jacob hadn't mentioned him all day and when speaking with his Mother, Sally, over the details she hadn't either. A kid that age needed that male figure in his life. Steve still remember fondly fishing and hiking adventures his Dad used to take him on around that age and felt the urge to do the same for Jacob. He was a good kid; behaved, polite and loved an adventure, which only delighted Steve to no end. He liked Jacob Maloney, probably more than he did most adults.


	3. Chapter 3

"Steve!" Sarah screamed out, "Steve!" She yelled again, reaching over Jacob from behind and grabbing his fishing pole as the reel began to spin out of control. "Hold it tight Jacob!" She instructed him as he squirmed in the seat, equally excited over the fish on the end of his line and terrified over the power of it.

Steve appeared from the galley of the boat and came around the other side of him, "Way to go Buddy!" He lifted him out of the chair as Sarah held the pole and then took his seat, setting him down on his lap. He took the belt from the chair and wrapped it around both of them as Sarah carefully handed the pole over to him.

"It feels like a Tuna!" she cheered as Danny came and stood next to her.

Steve set the pole between them. "Help me reel him in, Jacob."

He put his hands over top of Steve's and imitated him, not having a clue what else to do.

"That's a monster!" Danny said, grabbing the hook that was hanging on the side of the boat. Sarah picked up the net as they leaned over the back of the boat trying to get a visual.

Steve leaned forward as the pole bent and then turned the reel and leaned back at the same time. "It's strong, but we're going to win Buddy."

"Get in this boat fish!" Jacob ordered, pulling on the pole with both hands now at the same time as Steve did.

"Can you see it?" Steve grunted as he pulled back again and turned the reel.

"A little more," Sarah said, "he's a four footer at least!" She looked back over at Jacob as he sat on Steve's lap with the pole between them. His face strained against the task at hand and his baseball hat sat crooked on his head as he struggled to do his job. Steve's face was just as intense but also held a big smile. She knew he wanted nothing more than to get this fish for Jacob. The two of them together were about the cutest thing she had ever seen. She handed Danny the net and reached in her pocket, taking out her cell phone and snapped a couple of pictures of them.

"There he is!" Steve said, pulling back again as the fish came out of the water, struggling to get loose just as hard as the two of them struggled to hold on to him.

"He's huge!" Jacob yelled over his triumph.

"Get him Danny!" Steve yelled out laughing at the same time, thrilled for Jacob.

"Got him!" Danny cheered, pulling it over the side of the boat with the net as it flapped on the deck and then paused, its gills struggling for air.

Jacob stared at it, watching it slowly suffocate as the others cheered. Steve bent down and pulled out the hook.

"What are we going to do with it?" Jacob asked, suddenly feeling guilty for killing it.

Steve looked up at him, hearing that sadness in his voice. He saw the pained look on his face, knowing what he was feeling. "He's yours. You can do whatever you want. We can keep him or we can throw him back in."

They all stared at him as he stared at the fish. "I don't want him to die," he said, looking at each one of them seeing if they disagreed.

"Let's get a quick picture first," Sarah said. "Hurry!"

Steve picked up the Tuna by the tail and held it next to Jacob as she took some quick shots of them. He smiled happily at his catch and then leaned over the boat and watched as Steve set him in the water and let go. The fish bobbled for a second next to the boat and then quickly disappeared under the water.

Jacob looked up at him. "Do you think I should have kept him?"

"No," Steve reassured him. "You did the right thing." He held his fist up to him. "Good job Buddy."

Jacob bumped his fist smiling from ear to ear.

"If you're the only one that catches anything today Jacob," Danny joked, "then beers are on you. I hope you brought lots of cash."

"I have five dollars," he said reaching in his pocket. "My mom gave me five dollars." He held it up.

"Save your money Jacob," Sarah said, because I plan on catching one too.

"You?" Danny scoffed, "I can't remember the last time you caught anything. Please, refresh my memory?"

"Shut up!" Sarah playfully shoved him. "Today! Today will be the day."

"If not, then beers are on you," Steve said reaching in the ice chest and opening a pop for Jacob and tossing a beer to Danny. "and I have a feeling we are drinking for free tonight."

"You both suck," Sarah said, rolling her eyes at Jacob as she baited her hook. "I'm bringing in a shark."

"A shark?" Jacob said, squirming his way back on to the chair he and Steve had occupied earlier, "We should keep that one."

"I'm hot from bringing in that monster," Steve announced, pulling his shirt over his head. He stood up on the back of the boat and dove in the water.

Jacob came out of his seat and ran to the edge, looking over at him as he came up from the deep dive and shook the water from his head. "Can I jump in too?"

"Sure," Steve yelled back. "Put a life jacket on."

Sarah helped him get it on, zipping it up and tightening the straps in the back making sure he was secure. "Stay close to Steve, okay?" she said to him.

"I will," he agreed anxiously. He ran to the edge and looked over. "How do I get in?"

"Like this!" Danny said, picking him up and tossing him high in the air toward Steve. He landed feet first, barely going under because of the life jacket but came up laughing.

"That was fun!" he screamed out.

Sarah did a cannon ball next to them and swam up behind Steve, putting both hands on his shoulders as she came out of the water, dunking him. She quickly backed away as he came after her.

"Swim Sarah!" Jacob yelled out, trying to catch up with them.

Sarah treaded water, using her hand to splash him in his face as he got closer. "Stop! I'm sorry," she laughed.

"Too late," he grinned mercilessly, going down under the water. "Jacob help me!" she screamed, not sure when or where the retaliation was coming from.

"I'm coming Sarah," he kicked his legs and was almost to her when Steve came out of the water behind her. He motioned for Jacob to be quite at the same time that she turned her body.

"Hey!" he yelled as she screamed and then laughed, shoving off of him.

"You Navy Seals, you're all alike, sneaky and shifty."

He reached out and grabbed her arm pulling her back up against him as he lay in the water with his arm around her waist as they both floated. "But if we were stranded out here, I'd be your hero."

"Huh," she scoffed, "you'd probably drown me and find a way to use my body as a flotation device."

"Sarah," he said surprised and a little irritated by that statement. "I would not. I would find a way to save you before I would save myself."

She hated it when he said stuff like that, especially when he was holding her like he was because it made her feel special, but she knew that he would do it for anyone, not just her. "What do you think Jacob?" She pulled his arm away and swam the two feet over to him. "Should I believe him?"

"Yes," he said confidently.

"Oh you men," She held his life jacket from behind and tossed him to Steve, "you always stick together."

Steve held onto him. "What are you giving him to me for. I don't want him." He turned him around and tossed him back to Sarah, only with more height in the throw.

Jacob laughed out loud at the game. "I'm like a beach ball."

Sarah laughed and tossed him back. They played for a few more minutes before climbing up the ladder of the boat. Steve went first as Sarah lifted Jacob up and he grabbed the back of his life jacket, lifting him out and setting him on the deck. He then reached his hand out for Sarah as she climbed up, taking it. He pulled her up just as easily and faced her once she was on the deck.

"I really would save you first. I couldn't be in a situation and watch something bad happen to you without giving everything I had to protect you." He reached around her for the towels that were sitting on the chair, handing her one and wiping his face off with the other. "I can't believe you don't know that, you dope." He said it so matter-of-factly that she really had no reply. She watched him walk over and help Jacob with his jacket, amazed that he didn't take one second into consideration that he basically just told her he would give up his life to save her, as if it was really not a big deal at all.

God she really hated him sometimes, or maybe she just hated that she loved him so much.

* * *

Steve and Jacob sat on his couch eating bowls of ice cream and watching an old episode of Get Smart on cable. It had been almost two months since they had met. The bond formed quickly between them, and since then they had spent quite a few days together, including weekend ventures out with he and Danny to the beach with Gracie, or four wheeling with he and Chin. They had even attempted surfing with Kono but found out quickly that it was too exhausting of an effort for him with this disease so they settled for boogie boarding close to shore instead. He and Sarah had spent the most time with him, taking him several places together, including the movies and to the water park. They had become close, each one getting something from the relationship that was lacking in their lives. Jacob needed an adult male to look up to and Steve loved being able to teach him things that his father had taught him growing up, and the best part was that Jacob couldn't get enough of any of it.

Jacob sat up on his knees with his bowl on his lap and looked over into Steve's. He glanced up at him and then reached over sticking his spoon in his bowl.

"Hey," Steve scolded him, half laughing. "What do you think you're doing?"

"You have more than me," Jacob declared, reaching in again with his spoon.

"Back off!" he laughed moving to the other side of the couch. "Of course I have more. I'm bigger than you."

"That doesn't matter when it comes to ice cream. We should have the same," he argued.

Steve growled, looking at him and knowing he couldn't argue with that. "Fine," he caved, taking out a huge scoop and dumping it in Jacob's bowl. "If you puke, I'm making you eat it."

Jacob laughed almost spitting out the large portion in his mouth. "I'll make you eat it!" he retaliated.

"Oh yeah," Steve said in a tough guy voice. He opened his mouth and leaned over his own bowl, letting the melted ice cream in his mouth spill into it, all the while making vomiting noises. He pointed at it. "Make me eat it."

Jacob laughed so hard he almost did throw up. He wasn't used to this kind of play with his mom, but Steve was different. He did fun boy stuff and let him participate where his mom wouldn't have understood some of the things they did and talked about. He reached over with his spoon and scooped up from inside the bowl and waved it in Steve's face. "Eat it!" he shouted, laughing hysterically.

Steve laughed with him and pushed his hand away as the scoop slid off the spoon and on to the couch.

Jacob looked up at him a little worried that he'd gone to far and would be in trouble over that.

"Oh, nice move," Steve said sarcastically, but in the same breath he reached over and flipped the spoon in Jacob's bowl as a splatter of ice cream flew up and hit him in the face.

They both started laughing like it was the funniest thing either one had ever seen.

Steve jumped off the couch, going for his ringing cell phone and getting away from Jacob's retaliation. "Hello," he answered, still laughing. He tossed Jacob a towel from the kitchen.

"Hi Steve, it's Sally, Jacob's mom. I'm so sorry I'm not there yet. I'm heading back from the North Shore and I think there's been an accident because traffic is at a dead stop by the Dole Plantation."

"That's all right. We're just hanging out and eating some ice cream." He smiled over at him, pretending to lock his lips and not tell her what they were really doing.

Jacob giggled as he tried to mop up the mess on the leather couch, but was only spreading it around.

"I'll hopefully be there in an hour or so, again I'm so sorry."

"Why don't you just leave him for the night," he suggested. "You'd have to bring him back in the morning anyway for the Kayak trip."

"I wouldn't want to impose like that."

"You're not at all," he assured her. "It'll be fine. I mean as long as you're ok with it?"

She was more than okay with it; she was thrilled with the idea of Jacob spending time with him. Steve was the ultimate male role model for her son and she knew how much Jacob enjoyed being around him. "Thank you. I appreciate that. I'll bring his things over in the morning for the trip."

"Great!" Steve gave him a thumbs up as Jacob sat intently on the couch listening and hoping. "Do you want to talk to him?"

"Yes please."

He handed the phone to him, but covered the mouthpiece. "Mums the word about the ice cream."

Jacob nodded, completely understanding. "She would be so mad if I spilled on your couch because I was playing." He took the phone. "Hi Mom."

"Are you behaving?"

He tried to control his laughter over that question. "Yes. We're just having ice cream." He giggled as Steve took the towel and wiped off a remaining spatter from his bald head. "Can I stay? I promise I'll be good." He laughed again at Steve as he made a funny face as if saying 'yeah right he'll be good.'

"Yes you can stay. But I want you to clean up any messes you make, and say please and thank you."

"I will," he lied as he watched Steve clean up the ice cream off the couch with a wet rag. "I have to go now Mom."

"Ok, I love you."

"I love you too, bye." He hung up and jumped up and down on the couch, still on his knees. "She said I can stay!"

Steve smiled, just as happy. "I was thinking we could pull out some sleeping bags and sleep out back tonight."

Jacob's eyes got big over that idea. "I've never slept outside before."

"Well then we have to do it for sure."

Jacob stuck his hand in the bowl of popcorn as he sat on top of his sleeping bag in the back of Steve's house. "So what did you do then?" he asked, listening intently to the story that he was being told.

"I couldn't do anything," Steve explained. "I had to stay perfectly still or they would have known I was there."

"How did you get away?"

"I had to wait until it was dark and then I really slowly," he demonstrated crawling on his belly over the grass, "made my way out of the area. I almost got stepped on by this one soldier that was taking a pee."

Jacob got a look of horror on his face. "Did he pee on you?"

Steve laughed, "No, but it was close."

"You must have been so scared."

"I have to admit, I was a little nervous, but scared, not really. They train you not to be scared, so you don't think about it."

Jacob nodded his understanding, shoving another handful of popcorn in his mouth. "I want to be a Navy Seal when I grow up," he confessed.

"It's hard work," Steve said firmly, "but I think you'd be a great Navy Seal."

"I don't get scared very much," Jacob said. "One of my friends asked if I was scared of my cancer, but I'm not." He scooped up another handful, "My mom says that I'm strong and I'm stronger than the cancer."

"You are Buddy. You're mom told me that you were getting better."

"I am. I'm in revision," he said.

Steve smiled, "Remission?"

"Yes?" Jacob chuckled. "I forget that word."

"It's a good word."

"My mom gets really happy when they use that word. It doesn't make her cry." He looked up at him. "Sometimes she cries and tries to hide it, but I can tell."

"It's only because she loves you so much. No one likes to see their kid sick. I think you're mom's pretty strong too."

"She is!" Jacob said adamantly. "She can still pick me up and carry me. Sometimes after I get my medicine I fall asleep on the couch and I wake up in my bed. She carries me there."

"She's a tough mom. You're really lucky to have her."

He smiled, "She's nice, except when she yells at me for stuff I do wrong."

"Again, it's only because she loves you and wants to teach you right from wrong."

"I know." He laid down on the pillow.

"Why don't you climb inside and I'll zip you up."

Jacob moved the sleeping bag and got in as Steve did they same in his and then leaned over, zipping his up for him.

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"You're a guy," Steve said, "just go over in the bushes somewhere." He laughed and pointed above his head. "But don't go anywhere over here. I don't want to wake up floating in it."

Jacob laughed, "I'm going to go right there." He pointed just above Steve's head.

He reached over and tickled him over his sleeping bag as Jacob squirmed inside it. "You better not, punk!"

"I won't!" he squealed, begging for him to stop. "I swear it!"

Steve laid back with his arm under his head. Jacob imitated it as they stared up at the stars.

"Do you have a Dad?" Jacob asked him.

"Yes. He died though, a couple of years ago."

"Oh." He was silent for a couple of seconds as if he were thinking about that. "Did he live with you when you were a little boy?"

"Yes. He was a police officer too."

"He was?" Jacob was amazed by that piece of information. "That would be so cool."

"He was a good guy. He was a good dad." He hadn't thought that in a long time, feeling slightly guilty that he had to be reminded.

"I don't know my Dad," Jacob said. "He lives someplace else far away."

"Does that make you mad?" Steve asked him.

Jacob shrugged, not really knowing how he felt about it. "I don't know." His next words floored Steve. "I wish you were my Dad."

Steve looked over at him but Jacob continued to stare up at the sky as if what he said was completely logical.

"We could pretend," Jacob suggested. "I don't have to call you Dad, but I could call you something else and then only you and I would know."

Steve smiled over that, "Like what?"

"I don't know. Gracie calls Danny, Danno. Maybe I could call you Stevo?" he looked over at him for clarification.

Steve sat up on his elbow looking at him. "Stevo huh?"

"Uh huh," Jacob said, "If you want too. We don't have to if you don't want too." He stared at him waiting for an answer.

Steve looked at the little boy who had become just as close a friend as any of the others in his life. What he was asking for Steve didn't consider a burden, but he knew it meant a commitment to him, which he also didn't consider a burden by any means. "You know what Jacob?"

"What?"

"If I had a son, I'd think I'd want him to be just like you. So yes, that's ok with me. You can call me Stevo."

Jacob's smile spread across his face. "Ok! And you already call me Buddy. So that can be your name for me."

Steve nodded his approval. "I like it. Buddy it is." He sat up and leaned over him, playfully pulling the sleeping bag over his head. "Now go to sleep Buddy. That's an order from Stevo. We've got a big day tomorrow on the water and I need you rested."

Jacob laughed, "Ok Stevo." He rolled over and closed his eyes, considering it one of the best nights he'd ever had.

Steve looked over at him and smiled, getting the feel for what it would be like to be Father. It felt pretty good, considering if all kids were like Jacob.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve rolled over in bed and felt around for his ringing cell phone, cursing dispatch for such a late call, assuming it was a new case.

He focused on his phone in the dark and was surprised to see Sarah's name appear.

"Hello?" he said still a little sleepy and confused, wondering if maybe she had dialed him by mistake.

"Steve, its Sarah."

"Yeah, what's up?" he sat up, leaning back against the headboard.

"I'm at the hospital. Jacob's Mother brought him in early this afternoon."

He was instantly awake, startled over that news. "Is he all right?" He reached over turning the lamp on.

"No," her voice barely audible. She looked up trying to stop the tears that were teetering on the brim of her eyes. "It won't be long now." The sadness in her voice and the meaning were unmistakable.

"What?!" He felt a sharp pain like someone had stuck something in his chest. "I just saw him last week and he was fine." He suddenly recalled him being more lethargic than usual, but didn't consider it a threat.

"He got a fever and," she paused trying not to cry, "it just happened so fast and they can't do anymore for him."

"Oh Jacob," he whispered, fearing for his friend.

"I just wanted to let you know incase you wanted to come and say goodbye to him." She couldn't contain the tears and let them fall, using the back of her hand to wipe her face off. "I know how difficult this is, so it's okay if you can't do it, but I just wanted to give you the option."

He swung the covers off and sat up on the side of the bed. "Are you at Queen's?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Sixth floor pediatric ICU," she directed him, knowing he'd come.

"I'm on my way." He hung up and went straight for his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweats and slipping them on. He opened the next drawer and grabbed the first shirt on top of the pile, but as he pulled it over his head he was suddenly overcome with memories of Jacob and the heartbreaking task he still had to do. He couldn't believe what was happening. He seemed fine when they all went to the ball game and now he was going to the hospital to say his last goodbyes. He rubbed his thumb and index finger over his eyes, trying to stifle the hundreds of different emotions that were surfacing. "Hold it together," he told himself. "He doesn't need you showing up there bawling."

He went downstairs slipping on a pair of flip flops that were sitting by the front door and grabbed his keys off the small table, swinging the door shut behind him as he ran towards his truck.

He stopped at a light at the end of his street and looked in both directions, getting angry that it was red but there was no other traffic coming. He became suddenly afraid he wouldn't get there in time and the need to see Jacob was overwhelming. He'd never had the privilege to say goodbye to someone he loved before and he had grown to love that little guy.

He flipped on his police lights, running the red light. He raced through the streets that were mostly deserted that time of night but using the lights on his truck still cut his drive time to the hospital in half.

Sarah stood up as she saw him get off the elevator.

He scanned his surroundings and then saw her, making his way down the hall toward her. She had never been so happy to see anyone in her entire life. He was the only one in the world who could relate to what she was feeling.

She'd never seen him unshaven and looking so disheveled. As he got close they made eye contact and they both felt in their hearts what the other showed in their eyes.

The sadness all over her face was hard to see and it just made him all the more anxious over the task he still had to do. For some reason he thought she would be the strong one, but he knew that was unfair to assume. She loved Jacob just as much as he did.

They didn't speak but just hugged each other tightly. It felt warm and safe in his arms. She didn't want to let go but knew what he still had to do. She was scared for him, knowing what he was facing. It had been the most painful few moments of her life, but she was still glad she had got to do it and knew he would be too.

"Is he still…" he couldn't even bring himself to say it.

"Yes," she nodded, "he's medicated to make him comfortable but he's awake." She pointed, "He's in room 612."

Steve looked in that direction and then back at Sarah. She could see the worry and pain in his eyes, almost as if he were second guessing his decision to go in. "It's ok Steve," she said gently, "it's just Jacob."

He needed that. He needed to be reminded that this was a privilege and if he didn't go through with it he'd regret it for the rest of his life. He brushed his hand over fresh tears that fell down her cheek, giving her a small but thankful smile.

The room was partially dimmed and Jacob's Mother stood up from next to his bed. She looked tired and the sadness in her eyes was unmistakable but she smiled when she saw him. "Jacob," she said in the most upbeat voice, looking down at her son, "look who's here."

Steve couldn't even fathom what his mother must be going through. He was struggling to hold it together and was going to stay that way through this visit, yet she was losing her child and still had the strength to keep a smile for him. She was amazing, he thought.

He stood next to his bed and leaned down on the bars, taking his small hand that had an IV going into the back of it to keep him medicated and comfortable. He was surprised at how warm it was. "Hey Buddy."

"Stevo," he said between breaths. His lips smiled but his sunken eyes and the pasty color of his skin showed the weariness of the months battling this horrible disease. He looked so much worse than the last time he saw him. Steve could see the fight was almost over.

"Any cases?" Jacob asked, his voice weak, gone was the vibrant six-year old he knew so well.

Steve swallowed trying to wet his dry throat that had closed up. He was determined to hold it together for him. Jacob saw him as a strong father type and he wasn't going to let him down now and cry in front of him, which might only scare him. "Yes we do." They had been working on a murder case but he didn't want to discuss something so morbid, so he made one up. "We have someone breaking into grocery stores and stealing all the bananas."

"Bananas?" Jacob chuckled.

"I know it's crazy. The Governor called and needs us to solve this quick. The island is running out." He leaned in and whispered to him, "But I think he just likes bananas on his cereal and hasn't had any and it's making him grumpy."

Jacob giggled, "Who would," he paused catching his breath, "steal bananas?"

Steve shrugged, "We're taking a trip out to the zoo tomorrow to take some prints from the gorillas and monkeys."

Jacob started laughing as well as his mother.

"Its not funny," Steve said seriously, but with a smile. "I'm concerned. What do you think we should do?"

Jacob took in a deep breath. His eyes came to life over that question, getting to participate in his favorite subject. "It's probably…a monkey," he suggested, "they're small and could get out...of the cage." He started to close his eyes and Steve inadvertently squeezed his hand, frightened that this was it, but he looked back up at him, catching his breath. "Monkeys are super smart." He stared at him as if this conversation was the most important one of the day. "Check for banana peels too."

Steve's face lit up as if that was a great suggestion. "Good thinking. That's why I like having you around."

He heard the door behind him open and looked over his shoulder at Jacob's grandmother. She had the same haunted look as the rest of them. Steve knew his time was coming to an end. He looked back down at him as the little boy squeezed his hand. His expression showed that he knew their time was limited too.

"I can't help you…on anymore cases," he said.

Steve only nodded not sure he could even speak. He was doing everything he could not to show the pain that was soaring through him. He was really going to miss him.

"Mom says I'm going to go be with Jesus." He took in another deep breath and let it out slowly. "She said that…he must have a special job for me…since he wants me in heaven so fast."

Steve gently rubbed his hand over his head, "I bet he needs your police skills."

Jacob smiled over that idea but was getting too tired to talk anymore. His eyes opened and closed slowly.

Steve heard another dose of medication a few seconds earlier being disbursed. "Will you put in a good word for me so when I get there he knows who I am?"

Jacob chuckled, "Ok."

"I have to go. Your Grandma is here and she wants to talk to you."

"Ok," Jacob smiled up at him. "I'll probably see you again sometime."

"I'm counting on it. Until then," he bumped his fist against his. "I love you Buddy."

Jacob smiled over that, not expecting it. He had been the only male in his life that he had looked up too. He hit his fist with his small one. "I love you too Stevo."

He backed away from the bed and glanced over at his mother who had her hands over her heart. She didn't have to say it but the look in her eyes was thanking him for profusely for making Jacob laugh and for just being there.

He came out of the room and leaned against the wall by the door. Once out of view of Jacob the pain hit him like a sledgehammer to his chest. He didn't know how he had held it together in there but it was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. He looked over at Sarah and quickly turned away not wanting her to see him cry, walking in the opposite direction.

"Steve," she said, seeing the sorrow all over his face, knowing how he felt. She chased after him, grabbing him by the arm. "Please," she pleaded with him, "don't go away. Don't leave me here alone." He kept his back to her but she knew by the way his shoulders slouched and gently shook that he was just as upset over this as she was. She didn't force him to turn so she just put her arms around him from behind, laying her head on the back of his shoulder and hugged him, crying with him over the loss of their friend.

The halls were quite and it was just the two of them. He put one hand over hers that were clasped together around his chest and the other he used to wipe over his face, still unsure why he felt like he had to hide it from her, but he did. He took in a couple of deep breaths feeling it settle inside of him. He shifted his body and wrapped an arm around her shoulder so he could hug her now. "I won't leave you," he whispered, pulling her close.

They held each other in silence for a long time. He didn't pull away like he always did in the past; instead he guided her back to her things and reached down still clutching her around the body as her head rested on him. He picked up her purse with his free hand and walked down the hall with her to the elevators.

* * *

Steve unlocked Sarah's apartment door for her and let her enter first. She walked silently past him and into the kitchen standing at the counter as if she forgot what she had gone in there for.

He came up behind her feeling that same dreaded loss. It wasn't fair that that sweet innocent little boy had to suffer so much and then miss out on a life that they took for granted everyday. He reached up in the cupboard and took out a glass, filling it with water. "You okay?" he asked handing it to her.

Sarah shrugged, taking a small drink hearing her cell phone in her purse go off, alerting her of a new message and at the same time Steve's buzzed as well. He took his out of his pocket and read the message.

Sarah saw the tears well in his eyes, knowing the inevitable had arrived.

He hung his head down feeling his chest tighten. He knew it was coming, they both did but somehow they had been hanging on to just a thread of hope that by some miracle that perfect little boy would be given a second chance. But it wouldn't come to be. The hurt from that was worse than either one had prepared themselves for.

Sarah leaned into him for support and he held her close, needing it from her too. He set his phone on the counter and used both hands to pull her in, having that natural instinct to protect and comfort, but when her arms went around him in the same way it was as if she were giving him permission to lean on her.

She felt his hand go up into her hair and pull her head against his shoulder, while his was bent and rested against hers. The night had been horrible and didn't seem to be getting any easier for either of them. She could feel his heartbreak and was pleased that he trusted her enough to show it rather than hold it in like she knew he did most things. He was a complicated person but she also knew him well enough to know that this was beyond his control. He had grown to love Jacob just as much as she had.

He felt her tears on his skin, which only made him feel the sorrow even more. Hearing her cry was just as painful to him, wishing he could say or do something that would make her feel better and wishing she could do the same for him. He'd lost friends over the years but he couldn't recall one that had given him so much grief as this one did, maybe it was because it wasn't sudden like the others. He'd been able to say goodbye, which he was grateful for, but now that it was done he wasn't sure the closure had helped, because what he felt inside was horrific. He knew she was feeling it too and maybe more, again, wanting to comfort her so she wouldn't feel it, but he had no words that would satisfy either of them.

It was late and they were exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Steve held her around the shoulder and led her down the short hallway to her room. He still had a fifteen-minute drive from her house to his and wanted to make sure she was all right before he left. Although having to go home to an empty house with only Jacob to think about was not sitting well with him either.

Sarah stood in her room and knew she had to pull it together. He still had to drive home and they both had to work in the morning. She wiped her fingers over her face and under her eyes, looking up at him. She didn't know why but she was surprised to see his eyes just as bloodshot with fresh tears. "He's in a better place now," she whispered, knowing it was what everyone always said at a time like this, but it suddenly seemed so foolish.

"I know," Steve said, feeling another wave of grief wash over him, "but I'm feeling a little selfish. I wish he were still here."

Sarah nodded, gulping for air. "I just wasn't prepared like I thought I would be."

He put a hand on her face, catching new tears as they tumbled from her eyes. "Me too." He swallowed down the dryness in his throat that began to close up again.

She could hear it in his voice without having to see it. She closed her eyes and cupped the back of his neck, putting her cheek against his. "I'm glad you're here with me." She meant it in the most sincere possible way, needing that friendship that he was always so generous with.

He hadn't thought about it until just then, but he felt the same way about her. He wouldn't have allowed himself this freedom with anyone else. He was safe with Sarah. He told her so by kissing her cheek and hugging her just a little tighter.

She massaged the back of his neck, knowing he was tired but had taken her home because he was concerned about her, not because he needed her. She pulled back just enough so they were facing each other. "You don't have to stay any longer," she said, breathing in his exhales.

He rested his forehead against hers feeling the night catch up with him. "Are you going to be ok?"

She nodded, reaching up and kissing him for that, knowing that if she said no, he would have sat next to her bed all night if he had too.

He thought nothing of the kiss; it was just Sarah saying thank you.

The first one was innocent in every sense of the word, but the feeling that overcame her from it was anything but. It was calming in a way that melted away the pain of Jacob, replacing it with a euphoric rush that she had never anticipated in a million years at that moment. It was so soothing in fact that she wanted to feel it again, so she indulged herself, hoping to find that same peace brought on from the first one. The second one was even better. The third one she didn't hesitate, overcome with the sensation that lifted her up as if she were floating.

Again, he thought nothing of the first one, but the second one caught him off guard even though he didn't react shocked. It was the third one though that had taken on a new life. It wasn't an innocent kiss like the other two; it was mysterious only because it was coming from Sarah. Why was she kissing him like that? And where did she learn to kiss like that! He was caught between wanting her to stop because of their situation and because it was Sarah, and not wanting her to stop because as crazy as it was, it felt damn good and after the night they had any kind of pleasure was welcomed.

He was about to pull away when she tilted her head and pulled him closer. He gave in to her and opened his mouth, giving her free access to what he could only describe as exotic and unbelievably enjoyable. In that split second she had gone from this person whom he saw as sweet and naïve to a woman who had him lost in his own thoughts. Then all at once it him again, this was Sarah! '_What are you doing?_' he scolded himself. '_You can't do this to her,_' knowing of her feelings toward him. He'd always had an idea but never dreamt it would come to this. But it was the emotions she had over Jacob that he was most concerned with. '_She's confused_…' he argued with himself but quickly lost that argument when her hands slide up his chest and around his shoulders as her lips closed and brushed his, giving him that chance to back away and stop this madness from pursuing any further.

He didn't pull away like she thought he would. She couldn't believe she had kissed him like that and that he had actually returned it. She felt almost guilty for taking advantage of his vulnerability like she was, but it felt so good compared to just a few minutes earlier when she had felt so horribly bad. She wasn't thinking of the outcome, only that it felt good for now and that he wasn't objecting and pushing her away as if she had lost her mind, she wanted more. She just didn't want those awful feelings to return and he was the solution to that.

'_Stop her_!' he scolded himself, but took too long contemplating how he was going to get out of this mess. She kissed him again. '_Christ Sarah_!' he thought as her tongue began to do that thing again. '_I can't do this with her_,' he told himself, but felt the kiss seep into his veins and move through him to every part of his body. He didn't want it to continue but he didn't have the will to stop it either. '_Goddamn Sarah_,' he moaned going along for the ride for just a couple more minutes, unable to deny that it took away from the earlier pain of Jacob and telling himself it was what she needed and he had wanted to do something, anything to heal her grief. This seemed to be working. '_Just a few more minutes_,' he caved as they both lay back on the bed, not sure who had instigated that move or if it was simultaneous.

'_Oh God_,' Sarah thought, '_please don't stop now Steve, please_.' She wasn't sure if she had gone too far. If he pulled away now she was sure the humiliation would be beyond anything she could ever recover from. But going forward was going to change everything else, yet she couldn't stop the forward motion as her hands moved over him and touched him in places she had only fantasized about, even so, the outcome of this would be easier to deal with than if he rejected her, or so she thought. '_It's ok_,' she told herself over and over. '_We can do this and it'll still be ok._' He felt so good she would have said anything to convince herself that it was right.

'_Shit!_' he wanted to scream at her. '_What are you doing to me Sarah?_' He was in too deep now to turn back. He couldn't get up and walk away; it would kill their friendship and be humiliating to her and what excuse would he give. '_Shit! Shit!_' he thought as she kissed him again and pulled down on his sweats. '_Just do it_,' he said almost in a state of panic, never being caught up in something so turbulent. Just then a frightening thought crossed his mind, '_What if I can't do it?_' A whole new set of fear kicked in. That would be humiliating for him. This was Sarah after all, and he'd never seen or thought of her in that way.

'_Please, just this one time_,' she silently begged him. Her emotions turning to that place that she kept hidden from everyone else and only harbored for him. She had only been with two other men in her life, and the last one was two years before. She was lonely for this interaction and he was the perfect cure. She didn't want to think about the future, being in this moment was too captivating. She decided to just jump in and take the initiative, praying that he'd participate in this liaison, '_besides_,' she thought, '_he's a gentleman at heart, maybe he's waiting for me to give him permission_.'

"It's all right," she whispered to him almost breathless, "if we want this, I'm on the pill. I'm covered." She kissed him again before he could respond, taking both of her hands and moving up under his shirt, caressing his back and pulling down on his hips as he lay on top of her.

'_Oh God, I'm in this now_,' he thought, feeling her hands move over his back. '_That feels pretty good_,' he moaned as the tips of her fingers slid over his bare skin and her hands came to rest on his hips, pushing up into him and deepening the kiss at the same time. '_These kisses…_' he began and lost his train of thought as he succumbed to another one. It didn't take long for the red-blooded male inside of him to take advantage of this situation. He slid a hand inside her shirt, letting it glide over her body surprised at how soft her skin felt against his rough hands.

'_Oh God Steve, I love you so much_,' she shuttered over his willingness, getting the idea that kissing him was like an aphrodisiac because every time she did it his reaction was positive and more forthcoming. '_He likes it_,' she wanted to cry she was so moved over that thought. '_He wants me too_.' She couldn't take the waiting any longer and reached down undoing her shorts, pulling them down.

Steve looked down at her as she broke from the kiss. His eyes moved down as her hands began to fumble between their bodies. He realized she was taking her clothes off. He looked back up, still not sure how this was going to work when they locked eyes. Hers were still slightly puffy from crying but the look in them had changed to something new. He'd never seen her look at him like that before. He'd never seen anyone look at him like that before. It was more powerful than the kiss. He didn't see sweet, innocent Sarah anymore. That gaze was about the sexiest thing he'd ever witnessed. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow and her face was flushed. He'd never seen her look more beautiful and something came over him in that second that moved him into the next level. He wanted her.

She saw something in his eyes, hesitation perhaps; wonderment, shock, or maybe it was regret? She couldn't get a fix on it and felt the panic begin to sweep through her, wondering if she had gone too far and he wanted a way out. She was about to give it to him when she saw his eyes close and then he kissed her this time. She literally felt her body melt into the bed as his one hand pushed his body up while the other took over the duty of her shorts, all the while he never broke from the rhythmic motion of his tongue that caressed her in the most pleasing way. He had taken over the situation and she was now under his mercy. She couldn't help but think that he'd done this before many times, because his skills were off the chart.

He ran his hand up her naked thigh amazed again at how soft and silky her skin felt. His heart was pounding in anticipation of his next move, gliding his fingers down between her thighs. The reaction of her body when he touched her along with the heat and the amount of wetness coming from her showed how badly she wanted him. That alone was a turn on. He didn't feel that performance anxiety that had worried him a few minutes earlier. He'd never seen Sarah as a sex object before, not even in her bathing suit, but the woman lying under him was not the Sarah he knew and loved, she was someone who had kept herself hidden from him. The idea of this stranger behind the girl was as erotic as any fantasy he could have dreamt up. Her hands worked like magic on his body as he slid an arm under her waist and lifted her up to him, taking his time with her, knowing she hadn't had a boyfriend for as long as he'd known her and also knowing that she wasn't promiscuous by any means. He didn't want to hurt her, letting nature take its course. He'd been with his share of women and knew what to expect, but what happened in the next few minutes left him dazed and wondering if all this time he'd been delusional about sex, because making love to Sarah was unlike anything he had ever encountered. He wasn't prepared for what she did to him.

She was with Steve in this moment that she could only describe as thrilling. She savored every second of it, not sure how he was able to control the slow meticulous movement below and at the same time ravish her with kisses that only heightened her senses. After all this time she couldn't believe he wanted her like this, but she wasn't about to dwell on the miracle of that, but instead focused on his body and hands that was driving her mad. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do, when his arm slid under her and lifted her off the bed, feeling him slowly and gently push his way into her. She clutched on to his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his waist as he controlled the timing. She held her breath until she felt the pressure of him inside her, letting out a gasp that only encouraged him as he began to move on her. She couldn't hold back the desperate cries that sprang from her throat as she praised his efforts that just kept coming and coming as her body welcomed the pleasure. The others she'd been with were awkward compared to this. She was a virgin when it came to the feelings that rippled through her, hitting new heights with every stroke of his hips, but it was the sounds coming from him that she considered the most enjoyable.

'_Oh my God Sarah!_' The voice in his head shouted out over the storm that was blowing through him. She felt unbelievably good as her body wrapped around him, matching him stroke for stroke, making his head swirl. It wasn't supposed to feel like this. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. He heard his name in the most erotic tone which only encouraged him as he pulled her closer wanting to ravish her body in every position he could imagine but knew the timing wasn't right. It didn't matter though, because what he was experiencing at the moment was heaven. He slid a hand under her shirt, feeling her stomach, moving up and over her bra, wishing now she were completely naked, wanting to see what she had always kept hidden under those baggy clothes. He was about to remove the obstacle when he heard her cries and his name being served up over and over, knowing she was climaxing. He disregarded the clothes and focused on the pace, enjoying her gratification more than he ever had with anyone before. '_You feel so good_,' he thought as her body began to pull him in to where she had just left off.

She felt his muscles tighten as hers calmed. His breathing was in quick short gasps and she knew he was close. '_Say my name Steve_,' she silently begged him, holding him close as he lifted his body up, hovering over hers but still rested his head on her shoulder, keeping a steady motion. She could feel his sweat build on his back as he squeezed her tighter and then all at once his body shuttered and he moaned, turning his face away from her. '_Say my name Steve_,' she silently begged him, '_just this one time to show me that you really know it's me._'

'_Oh God Sarah!'_ his mind screamed out her name over and over as he came inside her. It was unbelievable to the point that he had to turn his head just to catch his breath; feeling like he might suffocate from the rush that was coursing through is body. She held on to him tightly, which only prolonged the moment sending little electric shocks up and down his body. He began to sweat from it. He couldn't ever remember sweating after; it was all so unexpected and new.

It was over just as quickly as it had started, but the outcome for each of them was anything but disappointing. He lay still in her arms and she did the same, both trying to catch their breaths and not sure what they were supposed to do or say.

She still couldn't believe what had just happened between them. '_Say something_,' she thought, feeling this precious moment she had only dreamed of slowly becoming awkward. '_Is he going to say anything?_'

'_Damn_,' he thought, torn over the fact that he'd just had sex with Sarah and the other fact that it was possibly the best orgasm of his life. '_Say something to her, anything, just say something._' For the life of him he couldn't think of one thing that would make this moment any easier for either of them. '_Jesus Steve_,' he scolded himself, '_say something!_' He rose up on his elbows and looked down at her as she smiled ever so slightly. "I can't believe what we just did." But the tone and the meaning both came out wrong. '_You idiot!'_ He wanted to suck the words back in but that was impossible, it was already out there and she responded in the only way he knew she could.

"I can't either. That was crazy." She wanted to die, feeling the gigantic mistake she had just made, only because she knew that's what he was thinking.

'_Crazy good,_' he thought but didn't say it, instead he tried to clean up his previous slip. "I didn't mean it like it was bad, Sarah." but it seemed like no matter what he said it was wrong. It was as if he were on a patch of ice, sliding down a steep slope unable to stop and the final impact looked like it was going to hurt.

She smiled but it was forced, moving her legs so he could get off of her, which he did, rolling over on his side.

"I know you have to get up early and so do I," she said, looking over at him as he lay there. "It's ok Steve," she assured him, hating that look of pity and regret on his face. "I think we both just felt the need for the pain over Jacob to stop."

She turned her face away wanting to cry, feeling that pain return, but she couldn't deny her tears were over Steve too. She had gone from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs and back down again.

"Sarah." He went to reach for her and she rolled over with her back to him.

"It's ok, you should just go."

He didn't know what to do. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, but he was beginning to get the idea that his presence was only making it worse.

He sat up on the edge of the bed reaching for his sweats. He stood up as he pulled them back on, looking down at her. She had covered herself with the blanket as if she were embarrassed or ashamed. He felt neither of those but was beginning to feel guilty for making her feel that way. He should have put a stop to it but he couldn't, and even more than that, it got to a point that he didn't want to, still, if he knew it was going to end with her like this then he would have.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled on her shoulder, forcing her to look at him. He ran his hand over her hair. "I don't want to leave you like this." He didn't plan on leaving at all, at least not this soon, not until she suggested it, or did she want him to leave. He didn't know and didn't want to make another mistake.

She looked up at him, seeing him still a little flushed and sweaty. His eyes were misty and his lips were still colored from kissing her. She didn't think she had ever seen him look so incredibly handsome before, he was beautiful and yet he was still so out of her reach. She wanted to beg him to stay but knew she had already taken so much from him that she should just count her blessings and be happy, but she was anything but. She reached up and touched his hand that rested on her shoulder. "It's ok, really." She rolled away again, not able to look at him for another second or she might humiliate herself again. "Just lock the bottom lock on your way out."

There were about a hundred questions flying around his head that he wanted to ask her, but the most critical one was whether this was going to hurt their friendship, but even as he sat there he knew it was inevitable. It already had.

She felt his hand gently slide down her arm as if saying goodbye and then he got up. She listened to him pick up his keys off the counter in the kitchen, lock the bottom lock on the door and close it, double checking to make sure it really was locked because he worried about her, but yet he couldn't see her beyond what she was even after what they just shared. She was plain ole' Sarah. She buried her face in her pillow and cried like she hadn't cried in years.

Steve walked down the steps from her apartment, not able to take one more. He held on to the railing as he sat down on the bottom one. He cupped the back of his neck with both hands, coming to full term with what had just happened up in that apartment. Not only did he feel the painful blow of losing Jacob that night, but he was almost positive he was going to lose Sarah too, and that was almost more than he could take.


	5. Chapter 5

Sarah looked at the time in the bottom right corner of her computer and then peeked up at the entrance to the building, knowing Steve came in almost everyday between eight and eight-ten, depending on traffic. It was already eight-fifteen and no sign of him. She wondered if he over slept from the night before or worse yet, if he had come in the back way to avoid her.

Danny walked by Steve's office and then stopped, seeing him on the couch. He went in just as he was sitting up.

"What time did you get in this morning?"

"I don't know," Steve moaned and stretched, "about seven or so."

"So you came in early to take a nap?" he chuckled.

"I was at the hospital most of the night." Steve looked up at him as that horrible pain in his chest returned. "Jacob died."

"Ah shit," Danny sighed. "I'm sorry." He took the seat next to him on the couch. "I'm really sorry Steve." He knew how close they had become. They all had a small stake in Jacob, but none more than Steve. He put a hand on his shoulder. "I thought he was doing better."

"We all did, but in the last week he just went downhill fast."

"Was Sarah there last night too?"

Steve nodded, feeling a little nauseous just thinking about the events that had unfolded with her the night before. He came in early because he couldn't sleep and was sick of pacing around his house with nothing to do but think about her and Jacob. She wasn't in yet when he came through the front entrance, but then again he knew she wouldn't be, which made him feel even worse knowing she probably thought he was avoiding her. He didn't do it on purpose, but then again, maybe he did. This whole situation was confusing and he didn't know which way to go or how he was supposed to approach it, or her, and worse yet, he had no one to ask advice from. He couldn't tell Danny what had happened the night before. He was ashamed knowing he had hurt her, if the tables were turned he'd be livid at Danny for doing it.

"How's she handling it?"

"Not good." '_And I didn't help it any by sleeping with her either_,' he thought to himself, but didn't dare share that piece of information.

Danny could clearly see he was tired and emotionally drained. "You should go home. Take the day off."

Steve shook his head and stood up. "I can't, that's why I came in. I need something to occupy my mind."

"Then go fishing, or kayaking. Go for one of those long crazy hikes you're always trying to get me to do." He stood up with him. "I don't care what it is but you shouldn't be around here today. You're clearly in no shape for it. You look like hell."

Steve turned around, glaring at him.

Danny put his hand over his heart but in a patronizing way. "I mean that in the most sincere way. You need to take off and just let yourself grieve for him in the only way you know how, and that's by doing something reckless. Well, you know what I mean. In my opinion it's reckless but to you it's active." He put his hand on Steve's back, "You should go down and get Sarah and make her go with you. She probably needs it too."

He sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, resting his elbows on his knees as his head fell forward. "God Danny," he moaned, wanting to tell him.

"I'm serious Steve. We all thought the world of Jacob. He was an amazing little guy but you need to take some time and let yourself grieve for him. There's nothing wrong with that and Sarah's a good person for you to do that with."

He couldn't help but think he was absolutely right on both counts and if it were pre events from the night before, he would have done exactly that, but now…now everything had changed. "I can't talk to Sarah."

He leaned against the desk in front of him. "She's not the enemy. She's one of your closest allies and she's also feeling what you are right now, so maybe you should put aside those issues you have and maybe be there for her. Who knows, maybe you'll get something out of it too."

"Danny, it's not as easy as you think."

"Steve, it's Sarah. It doesn't get any safer than that."

Those words somehow turned things around for him. Danny was right even though he didn't know the real story. It was Sarah, and he couldn't avoid her forever. They had to face last night sooner or later and it was better to do it sooner rather than later. The longer they put it off the worse it would get. "You're right." He looked up at him. "You guys are good here today?"

"We got it covered." He walked him toward the exit. "Any word on the funeral yet?"

Steve shook his head. "I'll let you know."

He walked down the hall of the headquarters and stopped at the top of the marble stairs that led down to Sarah's work area, seeing her at her desk. He thought it would be awkward and uncomfortable, but as he stood there he felt neither of those. It was just like Danny had said, it was just Sarah, their friend, his friend. He came down the steps and toward her desk as someone said hello to him as they passed.

Sarah looked up hearing his name and was startled to see him standing next to her. She could feel her body tense up not sure what she was supposed to do or say. It was strange seeing him now knowing he had seen her in the most intimate way possible only a few hours before. Then again she had seen him in the same way. That thought didn't help. It was the one she had wished and fantasized over almost every single morning as he passed her desk and here it was a reality, but she felt nothing like she always dreamed she would; she only felt regret; the one word that she never would have imagined could enter her vocabulary the day after.

"Danny kicked me out of the office for the day," he said to her, "which is probably a good idea. I see Jacob everywhere up there. I can't think straight." He felt like he was rambling, avoiding what he really wanted was to ask her and that was if she was all right, and if their friendship was still intact, but he didn't want to have that conversation right there in front of her whole department.

She stared at her computer screen, not able to look at him. She felt embarrassed and wondered if he were there out of a sense of duty, or if he was just telling her he was leaving so she wouldn't think he was avoiding her. "Greg told me I could go home too, if I wanted." She had opted to stay not wanting to be alone and think about Jacob, or him.

He squatted down next her. "Do you want to go somewhere?"

She looked over at him and couldn't hide the shock on her face over that proposal, "Where?"

He shrugged, "The beach? A hike. I don't care. I just want to get out and I thought you might too."

She knew then that he was looking at Sarah his friend and not Sarah from the night before. She needed him last night and he was there for her. She couldn't deny him this and suddenly the extra curricular activity she had been agonizing over wasn't as important as helping him through this ordeal with Jacob. She knew him and had worried the night before at the hospital that he might try to close off his feelings that he had, but here he was, asking for her help in the only way he knew how. He wasn't inviting her to a one on one serious emotional breakthrough conversation. That wasn't his style. He just wanted to sit somewhere and just be, but didn't want to do it alone, he chose her to be with and if anyone knew him like she did, that alone was a huge compliment.

"Sure," she said. "The beach sounds good." She sent a quick email to her boss telling him she was taking his offer and taking the day off and then shut down, following him out of the station.

* * *

Sarah pulled up next to his truck in the parking lot of a local store on the east shore. They had separated at the station and decided to meet up there and then go to Bellows Beach that was located on the Air Force base. It was closed to the public during the week but with Steve's credentials he could get in anytime. They often went there during the week and holidays to get away from the tourists, knowing it would be deserted except for the occasional military family.

He came out of the store and smiled at her as she got out of her car. Her hair was up in that signature ponytail but as he looked at her the image of it fanned out on the pillow the night before came to him. He felt his blood begin to race through his body and the hair stood up on his arms, remembering the way she looked at him.

"Hi," she called out, "I brought some of that pineapple dip you like with those ranch crackers."

He nodded, showing his pleasure over that and held up the plastic bag in his hand. "I bought you those Sun Chips you love, and beer."

Sarah laughed, "We know each others comfort food don't we?" She closed and locked her car, climbing in the front seat of his truck.

He set the bag in the back and got in next to her. She smiled over at him and his eyes were instantly drawn to her baggy shirt recalling the soft skin that was under it, and the mysterious breasts that he wanted to touch so badly the night before.

"It's a beautiful day," she said, unknowingly interrupting his fantasy. "Do you think Jacob had something to do with that?"

Hearing that name threw him back into reality. "I'm sure he's probably head honcho up there already. That could be really good for us. It's panning out already." He started the truck and headed down the road to the turn off to Bellows Beach.

Neither had yet to mention the night before, and it was ok. They were both elated to just be in this same familiar and comfortable place with the other. It was more important at the moment.

Sarah lay on the blanket with her eyes closed. She could hear the little girl down the way screaming and laughing as she and her mother played in the water. They were the only other inhabitants on the beach besides she and Steve. She sat up on her elbows and looked out over the water for him. She spotted him about fifty yards out as he came up blowing water out his snorkel and then went back under again. He was like a little kid out there exploring. It was one of the things she loved most about him. Her thoughts drifted to the night before and the feel of him on top of her and inside of her; that was one of the other things she could add to her list that she loved about him, he was an exceptional lover. She wished now it would have lasted longer and with that thought she felt her body flush as the incredible feeling of that orgasm came sweeping over her. She remembered how quickly it came on. It had hit her so fast and with so much intensity that the timing was inevitable. The other two men she had been with had never been able to accomplish what he had so easily.

She thought it would be difficult spending the day with him. She almost backed out while she was home changing, glad now that she hadn't. Still, it was hard to look at him and not see the man who was sitting on the side of her bed last night looking so perfect after he had just made love to her. '_Made love_,' she thought, scoffing, '_that's a pretty strong word to use to describe what he was feeling. More like shock and pity_.' She remembered that look on his face and those lovely feelings quickly turned on her and so she decided to divert her thoughts elsewhere than on Steve McGarrett. She had become a pro at being able to do that.

She thought of Jacob instead and smiled to herself recalling the time they had brought he and his Mother here for Memorial Day. She sat up again on her elbows and glanced down the beach at the picnic table under a group of trees that they had used. She remembered him sitting on it with Steve as they ate watermelon and had a seed-spitting contest. Jacob had tried so hard to get some distance, but most of them ended up in his lap or on his chin. She couldn't help but laugh over the memory of it. That whole day had been perfect.

Her sight became blurred, still not quite over the fact that he was really gone forever. She missed him already. She sat up and dried her eyes just as she heard her name being called from the water. She looked out at Steve as he waved her in.

"Come here," he yelled. "You have to see this. Hurry!"

She reached over and grabbed her facemask and snorkel, heading for the water.

She dove in and began to swim toward him.

He treaded water waiting for her, completely amazed at what he had found. As she got closer he swam to her. The look on his face was a cross between shock and wonderment. "You aren't going to believe this Sarah."

"What is it?" she asked as she adjusted her mask.

"You'll see." He waited until she was ready. "Follow me down. It's about fifteen feet."

They both took deep breaths and she followed behind him as he swam down toward the coral. He looked back at her as they hovered over a section that didn't look any different from any other coral they had snorkeled before, and then he pointed at it.

Sarah gasped under the water staring at the hand size rock with Jacob's name painted on it. She shot toward the surface unable to hold her breath over the shock of seeing it. She swam over to a shallow area, grabbing ahold of the rocks there were only a few feet under the water even though they were still several yards off shore. She pulled her mask and snorkel off taking a deep breath. He came up right after her, pulling himself up next to her.

"How did that get there?!" she said breathless, staring at him as if she had just seen a ghost.

"I don't know." He shook his head with the same thought. "I don't know." He pointed toward the shore. "I remember being over by the parking lot on Memorial Day when we walked by that group of kids painting them and they said he could do one. We helped him spell his name out, remember?"

Sarah nodded, still trying to catch her breath. "Oh my God, I can't believe that's down there." She looked up at him in amazement, "I can't believe you found it."

"I can't either."

They stared at each other both amazed over the discovery. It was almost as if they had found a hidden treasure.

"Should we leave it?" he asked her, wanting to take it but not sure if it was the right thing to do under the circumstances.

She wasn't sure either. "I don't know. Maybe it's supposed to be there."

"Or maybe it was supposed to be found by us," he suggested, never once wavering from her stare.

She knew what he was talking about. They had both lived on the islands long enough to become accustom to the Akua's and hear some of the wild stories from the locals that were attributed to curses from them, but other times there were stories of gifts too. She knew he wanted it. She couldn't think of one good reason to leave it and his suggestion that maybe they were supposed to find it meant so much more. "You should get it."

"Do you think it would be all right?"

She nodded, "Yes, I do." The elation in his eyes after being given permission was something she knew she would never forget.

He kissed her, thanking her for the approval before he slipped his mask back on and dove under.

* * *

They sat next to each other on the beach with the rock sitting in the sand in front of them. Sarah had her legs pulled up against her chest, resting her chin on her knees looking at it. Steve had his legs stretched out with his hands braced behind him in the sand.

"How did you find it?" Sarah asked him.

"I was following an eel and it disappeared into a hole in the coral right above it and I looked down, and there it was. I had to come up and clear my snorkel because I was just as shocked as you were when you saw it. I went back to make sure that I wasn't hallucinating, and sure enough I saw the name on it. That's when I called for you."

"This is unbelievable that we found it today of all days," she looked over at him. "You know?"

He nodded, agreeing with her. "The only explanation I can think of is that Jacob must have left it here that day and either the tide took it out, or someone threw it out there."

"That would make sense."

They both looked at each other, neither one saying it, but both of them secretly hoping it was actually a gift from the Akua's.

He smiled at her. "Thanks for coming with me today. If you hadn't, I never would have come here and I never would have found it."

"Thanks for coming to get me. I wasn't expecting that."

He sat forward, imitating her position but in a more masculine way. They were both silent but both had the same thought going through their head. Steve finally broached the subject they had been putting off all day.

"Should we just talk about it and get out in the open," he turned his head just slightly, barely catching a glimpse of her before turning away again, "or should we just keep pretending like it never happened?"

She scooped up a handful of sand and let it slowly sift through her fingers. "The one thing that scared me the most is that I was afraid it would come between us."

"Me too," he admitted, recalling having to sit on the bottom step of her stairs because it had frightened him so much. "It scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry for putting you in that position. I know you were just trying to make me feel better by being there and somehow things got out of control and I took advantage of that."

He wasn't expecting her to take the blame for what happened and didn't want her to her either. "I think we both were hurting pretty bad. I could have stopped it, but I didn't." '_You couldn't have stopped shit_,' he thought to himself. "The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, and I feel like I did." He looked over at her for clarification.

She didn't know what to say. He sounded so sincere yet he still hadn't mentioned whether he regretted it or not. Then again she hadn't either. "Please don't feel that way Steve. I don't want you to feel guilty over what happened. I instigated it and I think the only reason you didn't stop it was because you didn't want to hurt me. So please, please don't feel bad." '_Or just tell me that you didn't stop it because you wanted me just as much," _she thought.

He smiled, remembering the kisses that started it all. "I have to admit I was a little shocked when you kissed me." He playfully winked at her, "You have a naughty side, don't you?"

Sarah felt her face flush having to admit she'd never done anything remotely like that before. "I don't know what came over me." _'Yes you do, liar.' _"I think the whole thing with Jacob…" she used his theory as her way out, "it just escalated."

He wanted to ask her if she regretted it, but thought it better to just let it go. After all, she did just admit she didn't mean to do it. He wasn't sure if he was disappointed by that or relieved, maybe a little of both. He had been so afraid the night before that he was going to lose her that he didn't want to jeopardize this friendship in any way ever again. He hadn't realized how much he needed it than he did over the past twenty-four hours.

She felt they had said about all they were going to about it and just like she had figured, he was there with her during the love making, but he was only there for her, not necessarily for himself. She decided it was what it was, a one-time thing and nothing more. She playfully nudged him, "Well don't get your hopes up that it will happen again. I was depressed, so if you're looking for that type of excitement, you'll have to start hanging out at psychiatrist offices."

Steve laughed, shoving her back with his shoulder. "That's terrible!"

"You never know, tell a few jokes and wear your badge, you could have them lining up in the waiting room." She raised a finger, "Better yet! Wear your Navy uniform. You know how women love a man in uniform." She laughed with him, "It would be like community service."

He stood up, "Oh okay, use the very symbol that I spent protecting our country to pick up women. You're shameless for suggesting that."

"Oh Please!" Sarah got up, "Look me in the face and tell me that you have never once used that Navy uniform to score."

He wanted to deny it, not wanting to give her the satisfaction but knew he couldn't do it. "Okay!" he admitted, "maybe once."

"Or twice, or three times!"

"Once!" he said leaning over her shoulder as she turned toward the water. "It was one time, and believe me she wasn't worth it."

"Now whose the shameless one? I bet you snuck away the next morning, never to be seen again."

"I didn't say that I slept with her. We went out once but I didn't like her."

"And you still didn't sleep with her? Yeah right!"

"No, I didn't." He was a little annoyed at not only her tone, but also the way this conversation had turned on him.

"Sure you didn't," she snickered. "She's probably still waiting for your call you promised her."

He stopped joking and stared at her. "Do you really think that way about me?"

She put her hands on her hips, "And what way is that?"

"That I use women."

She tilted her head, giving him a look, "You've never had a one night stand?"

"No," he said sarcastically, "not until last night. Was that your first one?" He regretted saying it but she was pissing him off, accusing him of those things when he'd never even shown that kind of lifestyle around her; she had no right, it really pissed him off.

Her hands dropped to her side. It was like a slap in the face. She had never once considered what had happened between them as reckless and bad as a one-night stand. It may not have been the smartest thing either one had ever done but at least they cared for each other, and even after it was over the awkwardness couldn't be compared to if she was with a stranger. It was him, but worse yet he was accusing her of being promiscuous, when he knew damn well she wasn't. "No," she said angrily, "it wasn't my first. Let me see…" she pretended to count on her fingers. "Gee, I don't know, maybe my fiftieth!" She scooped up her towel shaking it off, wishing she had brought her own car now.

"What?" he said, "You're pissed at me? You just stood there accusing me of the same thing and that's perfectly justifiable?"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure I wounded you with my comments of being able to score with women. I've been around men my whole life and not one of them has ever been offended by that accusation, so please don't tell me what you just said to me was the same thing."

She was right in that aspect but coming from other guys was one thing, but coming from her was another. "Yeah exactly, when it comes from other guys, not when it comes from you." She was making it sound like he didn't care about the women he was with, or that the night before meant nothing. It defiantly meant something because he couldn't stop thinking about it, or her.

She glared at him, "If I would have said that to you yesterday you would have laughed it off."

There was no other truer statement in the world.

"Now all of a sudden it's offensive?" she said. "And not only that but you insult me by calling me a whore!"

"Whoa!" he held his hands up, "I never said that!" She went to walk away when he grabbed her by the back of her shirt, "Wait!"

She pulled her body away getting out of his grip when he came around in front of her.

"Wait a second!" He put his hands up, motioning for her to stop. If it had been the day before he probably would have put his hands on her shoulders and been a little more forthcoming but some how it seemed awkward now. "Just stop for a second okay," he said more passively. "What's happening here? A few minutes ago we were celebrating finding Jacob's rock, and now all of a sudden we're at each other's throats. What happened?"

She could feel the shift in their relationship, even if he couldn't. She knew he was probably telling the truth about the woman and the one night stands, but the rejection from him had stung more than she had imagined. She was angry at him for something he couldn't control and now they were left with this. The reality of him not ever wanting her after so long of hoping was heartbreaking. "Things changed between us last night Steve. We're different now. We can't go back to the way it was."

"I don't believe that," he looked at her sadly. "Do you? Please tell me that you don't believe that Sarah"

The worry on his face was touching. He was genuinely concerned about losing her. If only he felt that way romantically toward her, she thought. They could be a great couple. She didn't have the heart to ruin this fantasy he had going that they could move forward from the night before, so she just agreed and decided to live in denial with him, for now. "No, I don't believe it either. I'm sorry for what I said."

He reached out and hugged her, wrapping his arms tightly around her, relieved. "I'm sorry too." For the second time that day he swore he wouldn't do anything ever again to jeopardize this friendship.

'_Who knows_, she thought, '_maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and those feelings for him will be gone_.' But as she laid her head on his shoulder, she wanted to cry, because she knew it was inevitable. They were on a downward spiral that neither one could prevent.


	6. Chapter 6

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The trade winds blew in off the coast and could be felt on the inner island. The sun worshipers covered the beaches while the surfers took advantage of the good swells on both the North Shore and just off of Waikiki Beach. It was another perfect day in paradise for most, but for a group hovered around a gravesite, it was anything but beautiful.

Sarah looked up as Steve came and stood next to her. She had a tissue in her hand, using it every few seconds to wipe away fresh tears. They were both dressed in Hawaiian colored shirts as well as the majority of attendees. Jacob's mother had requested it. She wanted it to be a celebration of his life and not a gloomy day knowing already that tears would be inevitable, but she wanted everyone to remember Jacob as the vibrant little boy that he had been.

The funeral was outside by the gravesite and nearly thirty people were in attendance, half of them associated with the HPD.

Steve put his arm around Sarah as they both stared at the white coffin. They hadn't spoken since the day at the beach; only giving waves from across the room as he passed by each morning on his way up to his office. She was fine with that. It gave her time to clear her head over what had happened without any new circumstances to cloud her judgment.

She hadn't woken up like she had hoped and forgone all those feelings for him, but she did wake up to reality and decided that it was time to put them to rest on her own. She was twenty-seven years old and she wasn't getting any younger. She wanted a family and for that she needed a husband. Steve was never going to be that person and she had to get that through her dreamy head. She was letting other opportunities pass her by, lucrative opportunities that could amount to a possible future and happiness. She wasn't going to let this ridiculous crush go on any further disrupting her life.

He needed her stability right then, not knowing why it had to be her; maybe it was because what they had both felt for Jacob was similar. He'd thought about her a lot over the past few days, trying to get a handle on what he was actually feeling, but every time she would pop into his head and he'd try to sort things out, his thoughts would drift and the next thing he knew all he could picture was her beneath him and the way she had looked at him. That image was etched on his brain and tortured him. One side of him was compelled to accept the fact that he had made a mistake and should count his blessings that they were still friends, while the other half wanted her again. The impact she made on him that night was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. He could have moved on and let it go if wasn't for that. He was craving it. He wanted to feel it again, but somehow he knew that if he searched it out with a hundred other women it would never equal what she had given him that night. He couldn't get his head around the idea that Sarah, the one woman in the world that he least expected to be attracted to, had run him over like a Mack truck.

Sarah pulled away from him as the others departed the grave after it was over. Jacob's Mother, Grandmother and the two of them were the only ones left. She felt it was their time to leave too and let her have this moment with her son. "Come on," she said, pulling on Steve's shirt, "let's go."

As they walked by, Sarah put a hand on her shoulder as if giving her condolences. Sally looked up seeing the two of them.

"Thank you," she said to them. "Thank you for making him so happy those last few months."

They both stopped as she turned to them, her focus first on Sarah.

"You made the hospital visits bearable for not only Jacob but for myself. I'll never forget some of the encouraging and uplifting words that you gave me Sarah. You made me laugh and were a friend at times when I thought I had nothing else to give, but you somehow always pulled me back up and made me see how strong I was. Thank you for that."

Steve put his arm back around her as she nodded with the tissue up to her eyes, unable to speak.

"And you," she said to Steve, with a thankful smile. "He told me about your father, son pact." She reached out and touched his arm with fresh tears filling her eyes as he listened, not expecting that or what else she had to say. "It always made me sad that he never had a man in his life, and then you came along. After that it was always Steve did this and Steve said that," she chuckled. "He was so proud to be apart of your life, thank you for giving him that precious gift." She wiped her eyes off. "I can't tell you how thankful I am to you for that. You were truly a blessing to him."

It wasn't something he needed to be thanked for. In his eyes, Jacob had given him so much more. He took in a breath fighting off the relentless tears that had wanted to flow freely from his heart that felt broken. This day was almost as bad as the night in the hospital. "I can't tell you…" he started and then paused, trying to regain his composure. "I can't tell you how much he meant to me too. He was an amazing person and one of the best friends I've ever had."

Sally leaned over and kissed Sarah on the cheek and then did the same to Steve before turning her attention back to the casket.

They slowly walked over to the others who stood by the cars waiting for them. She glanced up at him and didn't think she'd ever seen him look so sad. She wrapped her hands around his arm as he looked down at the grip and then at her. He couldn't believe the comfort he found from that single gesture. He fed off of her strength, needing it now more than ever. She went to release the grip and he quickly without thinking put his hand over top of hers, getting a grasp of one of them. For some reason he didn't want her to let go. He'd missed her over the past few days and this physical contact made him realize just how much he had.

"It's going to be okay Steve."

He stared down at her, recognizing that look in her eyes. It was the same one he'd been recalling in his head, seeing it for the first time as she lay beneath him. He felt the warmth of it cover him like a blanket. "Do you want to go somewhere?" he asked her, hoping they could just sit and be together like the day on the beach. But that look she had vanished in an instant, along with it came a chill that replaced the warmth he had been feeling.

"No," she replied, releasing the grip on him and moving away from him at the same time. She flashed back to that night in her kitchen. He had that same tortured look and she was feeling that same horrible loss of their friend. The next thing she knew they were kissing. That memory was both a blessing and curse, but more than anything else it was a mistake and one she wished now she could take back, because she missed what they had, but she couldn't go back like he could, she just couldn't do it.

"Are you mad at me Sarah?" He wasn't sure if her avoidance of him over the past few days was because she was still angry over the beach incident.

"No," she answered as she started walking toward the others. She glanced back at him as he followed her, but the look on his face was disheartening. She turned away from it, knowing that he knew she was lying. "It's just that everyone was talking earlier about going over to Donner's afterward. It's been a tough day. You know?"

He felt the shift in their relationship just then. He was already emotionally drained from the funeral and now this, only it wasn't he that was putting a strain on their friendship at the moment, it was her. "Yeah, I know."

He followed behind her staring at the back of her head as her long hair flowed down her back. He'd never seen it down before, except for that night when it was fanned out on the pillow. He felt that same familiar rush sweep over him that could catch him off guard at the most unexpected moments of the day. He watched her disappear through the maze of attendees almost as if she were trying to lose him in the crowd on purpose. He came and stood next to the group that included Danny and Chin and some of the closest friends he'd ever had, but never in his life had he felt so alone.

* * *

The mood in the bar was not the norm for a Saturday night get together with this group of eight that had also attended the funeral. The laughter and smiles were far and few between. Some told stories of an encounter with Jacob and they relived the first day they met him and the fake robbery they had set up, laughing over some of the scenes that had played out. Steve told them about the rock that he and Sarah had found at Bellow's Beach, glancing over at her as she sat across and three people down from him, which was unusual in itself, usually she positioned herself close to he and Danny, if not between them.

She only glanced at him, but did collaborate on his story to the others. They were all amazed at the find and no one else had a rational explanation of how it got there either. Danny went as far as saying it was fate that the two of them of all people were together when they found it. Sarah only nodded in agreement. That day had been both a blessing and a curse.

Steve couldn't help but feel that she was deliberately ignoring him, which began to irritate him. If she was pissed then she should just come out and say it and get it over with. This whole pouting thing she had going on was becoming a pain in his ass.

Sarah pushed away from the table announcing a trip to the bar for another beer, offering to buy for anyone else that wanted one. Her offer was declined.

She leaned against the bar, talking to the bartender when she noticed out of the corner of her eye the guy sitting two seats over slide his beer down and take the seat next to her.

"Well look at you?" he said, leaning over to her, "If I had a dollar for every time you stuck your tongue out at me, I'd be a millionaire."

Sarah moved her head back away from him and then all at once recognized him. "Oh my God, Bryce." She playfully nudged him. "I thought you were some creep giving me the worst pick up line ever."

He laughed, "How's it going, Sarah?"

"Pretty good. When are you guys moving back to the mainland?"

"Pretty soon. They've got me for another month and then were back to reality."

"I bet you miss everyone. You're wife must be going crazy so far away from home."

"She is, plus she's expecting again."

"Wow! Congratulations. What is that, like fifteen now?"

"Four," he chuckled. "Have you talked to my sister lately?"

"No, I've been meaning to call her."

"God, I remember the two of you used to drive me crazy."

"You deserved it, plus you always paid us back twice fold."

Bryce laughed, "Remember that time I paddled the two of you for getting into my dresser and taking all my cash?"

Steve leaned over to Danny interrupting a conversation he had going with Chin about a recent baseball game. "Who's that guy talking to Sarah?"

Danny looked over toward the bar, taking a quick look. He shrugged, "I don't know," he said uncaring and immediately went back to his conversation.

Steve watched them intently, too far away to hear what was being said, but his guard came up the second he did notice the guy slide over toward her as she stood there getting her drink. It reminded him of the night of her birthday when she was drunk. She wasn't intoxicated this time but for some reason he felt compelled to keep an eye on her anyway.

Sarah gently shoved Bryce back and laughed, "Oh my God, that spanking hurt."

"You two stole thirty bucks!" Bryce defended, laughing with her. "I should have used something harder than my hand." He playfully smacked her on the butt.

Steve stood up once his hand crossed over her backside and she yelped, jumping away from his grip. He didn't notice the laughter that came from her; his mind was fixated on the fact that this asshole had his hands on Sarah. His Sarah! Who the hell did he think he was, touching her like that?

Bryce reached for his beer when he felt a shove, pushing him into the bar. He knocked his glass over thinking someone had accidentally bumped into him until he heard the voice.

"Keep your hands to yourself or I'll break 'em off!"

Sarah reached her arm over protecting Bryce from the angry outburst from Steve. "What are you doing?!" she yelled at him, even more shocked than Bryce.

Steve leaned over in Bryce's stunned face, "You think its ok to just grabbed a woman in a bar?!"

"What?!" Bryce looked at Sarah for clarification.

"This is Bryce!" she said, pushing Steve away from him. "His little sister is a friend of mine. What is the matter with you?" She pushed him back toward the tables they were occupying. "Go sit down?"

"You know this guy?" Steve asked stunned. His feelings of wanting to protect her quickly shifted to a feeling of betrayal from her, but not knowing why. She hadn't done anything wrong but he still couldn't get over the anger that another man had put their hands on her like that. At first he thought he was acting out of chivalry, but now it was clear that she had welcomed it. She was flirting with another guy right in front of him. He never would have done that to her.

"Yes!" she said, getting in his face. "Back off!" She watched him stare down Bryce one more time as he walked backward a couple of steps toward the table before turning and sitting down, staring at her now.

The others at the table stared at him.

"What was that about?" Danny asked, looking at him as if he were someone else.

Steve ignored him, his attention too preoccupied with what was happening at the bar.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Bryce asked.

Sarah shook her head, "Just this guy I work with."

"I'd be careful of him Sarah. He's got a temper."

"He's harmless," she said, grabbing some napkins, trying to mop up the beer mess as the bartender made his way down with a fresh one. She was still a little shocked and more than anything angry until it suddenly dawned on her that Steve was defending her.

"I wouldn't call that harmless."

She smiled slightly over her revelation, "I think he was jealous of you."

"Yeah well, jealously isn't always a good thing."

"Believe me Bryce, I've never seen Steve angry before, especially not like that. He's a cop and really is a nice guy. It's just been a trying day for all of us."

He looked at her oddly. "Sounds to me like you got something going with this guy."

"Once, but that's all it was."

Bryce huffed, "Once my ass. A guy doesn't go after another guy in a bar over a girl unless he feels a threat over his stake in that girl. Believe me!" He wiped the beer off his arm. "And that's just what happened." He looked back over at Steve and decided she was probably right. If he were the angry, jealous type that had a temper, he'd probably be laying over the bar instead of still sitting at it. He was glad he wasn't that kind, because judging by the size of him Bryce wouldn't have been able to win that fight.

"I'm sorry," Sarah said, but couldn't control the grin that was plastered on her face.

Bryce nudged her, "You like this guy. You like the fact that he was about to kick my ass," he laughed.

"No I wasn't! And he wouldn't have kicked your ass." she quickly replied. "I just can't believe he did that."

He reached in his pocket and tossed a five on the bar. "My buddies just walked in. It was good seeing you Sarah." He pointed over his shoulder at Steve, "Good luck with that. Don't be mad at him, sometimes guys can lose their minds when it comes to women."

She laughed and hugged him before walking back over to the table. "It was good seeing you too. We'll have to get together before you head to the mainland."

Steve played with his beer and watched her. He didn't feel like the idiot he should have. He was too preoccupied by thoughts of her with this guy, with any guy. He'd never been so plagued with jealousy before like he was over her. He couldn't shut it off. He looked at the two of them but could only see Bryce's hands on her, and then his arms around her and then images of Sarah with him the same as when they were together. That thought hurt worse than any of them. Did she like this guy? She sure acted like it, defending him while she shoved him back to the table, almost telling him to mind his own business, not even taking into consideration that he was doing it for her! His imagination took over again as she reached out and hugged him, wrapping both her arms around him and saying something to him in his ear. '_Shit! She likes this guy. Brother of a friend my ass!' _

As she walked back over to the table she smiled, shaking her head at him. Ready to sling him some shit for that. She wasn't mad, well not anymore, especially after what Bryce had explained to her. She was actually flattered.

'_She's enjoying this_,' he thought angrily. '_Look at that smile. It's almost as if she planned it._'

Sarah stood across from him, holding her fresh beer in her hand. "I've never seen that side of you before," she raised an eyebrow, "you can be intimidating. Poor Bryce didn't know what hit him."

"I didn't know that you liked guys groping you in the bar or I would have stayed put."

She tilted her head caught off by his sarcasm. "He wasn't groping me! We were just playing around." She went to explain when he interrupted her.

"Here," he reached in the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out some change, tossing it on the table. "They sell condoms in the men's room incase you want him to grope you some more later on."

"Steve!" Kono yelled from across the table,

"What the hell!" Danny joined in, seeing by the look on his face that he wasn't joking.

He knew he'd gone too far. Why did he say that? He didn't mean it.

Sarah slammed her beer down on the table. She could see the regret all over him for that remark, but didn't care. She rested one hand on the table and leaned over in his face. "Fuck you Steve!" she blasted him, grabbing her keys off the table, walking toward the exit.

He nervously looked around the table at the others as they all stared at him. None of them, not even Danny was able to explain his odd behavior in neither the last few seconds nor the display at the bar. The only common denomination they shared was that they both involved Sarah. He had no excuse for what he had just done except plain old fashioned jealously.

He pushed away from the table and bolted out of the chair toward the exit.

"Good luck with that," he heard Chin yell out as he pushed through the door going after her.

He came around the corner of the bar seeing her car lights turn on. As he ran toward it she put it in reverse glancing over her shoulder for another car before backing out, instead she saw him and didn't hesitate to come out of the space just a little too fast, her tires squealing.

"Sarah!" he yelled almost to the driver's door when she threw it in gear and took off. "Sarah!" he yelled again, knowing that she saw him.

He stood in the parking lot watching her turn out onto the road and speed off. "I'm sorry," he said to no one.

He didn't bother going back inside. An explanation was due but he didn't have one to tell them, but he did have an urgency to give one to Sarah. He jumped in his truck and headed in the same direction she just had.

* * *

He pulled into the parking lot of Sarah's apartment, seeing her car and glanced up through the windshield, seeing the lights in her apartment come on just then. The guilt was eating him up from the inside out. He still couldn't believe he had said those thing to her. He had sworn that he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this friendship, yet he had underestimated what jealousy could do to a person. An emotion he rarely experienced. He knew what he had to do, but still didn't have a legitimate explanation to give her.

He came up the stairs and knocked on her door.

"Go away!" He heard from the other side.

"Sarah, open the door."

"No! Go away! You're an asshole!"

He sighed, "I know. I'm sorry. Please, just let me in."

He heard the apartment door behind him open instead and an old Hawaiian woman appeared dressed in a flowered robe, giving him the stink eye.

"Sarah honey, are you all right?" she called out.

Steve smiled at the scowl on the old woman's face. "It's okay, we're friends."

"Well," she said sarcastically, pointing toward Sarah's door, "if you were friends then she'd open the door."

Sarah couldn't help but smile, admitting that this was punishment enough for him, having Mrs. Kettles berate him. She was a tough old broad for being eight-eight years old.

"Yes ma'am," Steve replied, trying a new approach. "I'm a police officer and I just..."

"I don't care who you are." She looked past him to Sarah's closed door. "Sarah honey, would you like me to phone the real police?" She looked back at Steve as if what he had just told her really meant nothing.

He had no response to that, knowing how feisty Hawaiian women were and she was about the feistiest he'd ever come across. He was about to give into defeat and leave when he heard Sarah unlock her door. She appeared but refused to look at him. He could tell she'd been crying which only ignited his guilt to a whole new level.

"Hi Mrs. Kettles," she smiled sheepishly, "it's okay."

The old woman looked back up at Steve with the same threatening glare. "Are you sure?"

Sarah glanced over at Steve just then as he silently begged her to come to his aid. She nodded, "Yes, thank you though." She leaned against the door frame reassuring her with a smile.

"Ok then,"

"I'm sorry I bothered you," Steve said, trying to make amends with at least one of the women he had pissed off that night.

She stepped back inside her house. "Well if you ignorant men wouldn't do stupid things that needed begging of forgiveness in the middle of the night, I wouldn't be disturbed. Remember that next time."

"Yes ma'am," he replied, but the door was closed in his face before he could get it out in time.

Sarah smiled but quickly hid it as he turned back in her direction. "What do you want?"

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Please Sarah, I'm sorry."

His voice sounded so sincere she couldn't resist him, still amazed that he had shown up in the first place, but it didn't by any means justify forgiveness for what he had done to Bryce or to her. She pushed off the door frame and went inside, leaving the door ajar, not closing it but not making it inviting for him either.

He took that as a yes and went in, closing it quietly behind him.

She sat down on the couch, but still wouldn't look at him.

He took a seat on the coffee table across from her. "I'm sorry," he repeated again.

"Why would you say something like that to me?" she shook her head, still confused over his childish behavior. "Especially in front of everyone. You made it sound like I was just out to get laid."  
Those words crushed him. "I'm so sorry."

She looked up at him, "Things have changed. That night changed us for the worse. I can't believe you don't see it."

"Don't say that," he argued, taking a seat next to her, not fearing for the loss of just their friendship this time but the terrible fear of losing her, period. "I just thought he was hitting on you…and I…"

"So what?" she argued. "It's none of your business!" She was tired of this cat and mouse game he was playing. He wanted to protect her, or was it he just wanted his little Sarah to be there for him when he wanted her. She was good enough for that, but not good enough to be in his life everyday. '_Screw that!_' she thought bitterly. She loved him but she had to put herself first and ever since she knew him she hadn't done that, and it had to stop. "You know what Steve," she said, before he could reply. "I think it would be better if we just admitted what this relationship has become and just let it go." She stood up and walked away from him.

"What do mean?" He felt his heart drop to his stomach.

"You know what I mean."

He did but he didn't want to go there with her. "I'm not ready to let you go yet," he said sadly.

"You never had me to begin with!" she yelled. "We had sex and then tried to make the best of a bad situation, but it backfired on both of us and now we're left with this." She spread her arms out, "This uncomfortable horrible thing that's just hanging over our heads. You feel guilty about not wanting more and I can't deal with your goddamn guilt anymore. It's as if you don't want me, but you don't want anyone else to have me either."

"It's not that," he defended himself.

"Then what?" she stood looking at him with her arms crossed. "Stop feeling guilty over what happened and just accept that what we did was a mistake."

"Why do you keep saying that and making it sound like it was this horrible thing that we should regret?"

Her expression turned bewildered. "Tell me after we did it that you weren't thinking, 'Oh God! What did I just do?' You know you were," she accused.

"Not in the way that you are making it sound."

"You even said it to me. 'I can't believe we just did that.'

"Well I couldn't! Could you?"

She didn't want to answer that.

"I just wasn't expecting it to feel that way."

"You mean like it does with other women?" she replied angrily.

"No! I never knew it could feel that good with any woman."

She had never imagined that reply. "Why do you say things like that to me?"

He shrugged, "Because they're true. Do you want me to lie and say it was horrible?"

"Yes! That would be easier to understand and accept."

"Well it wasn't, and I'm not going to say it was. I'm not ashamed of it like you obviously are." He started to feel angry over her accusations once again. She was practically accusing him of being emotionless when it came to this whole thing, as if what happened was just another notch in his bedpost.

"What do you want from me?" she yelled.

"I don't know!" he yelled back, "Maybe the same thing you want from me."

She stood staring at him. "I don't want anything from you."

"Oh bullshit! Stop standing there and pretending like what happened was just out of the blue and you temporarily lost your mind!" he pushed off the couch, walking over to her. "I know how you feel about me Sarah."

She backed away from him, "What are you talking about?"

"The night of your birthday party," he said with a raised eyebrow. "You talk a lot when you're drunk."

She felt her mouth go dry. "What?"

He knew he hit the nail on the head as the color ran from her face. "You said some things to me before you passed out in my truck."

"What…" she stammered, "what things? I was drunk."  
"You told me that you love me."

She suddenly felt relieved, chuckling and rolling her eyes. "I do. Haven't you ever told anyone that you love them when you're drunk? I probably told half the bar that night that I loved them." She went into the kitchen to get a glass of water to cool off her parched throat, feeling that she had maneuvered around that bomb until he dropped the next one.

"Yes, but then you grabbed me by the shirt and told me specifically that you didn't just love me, that you were in love with me."

The water did little this time to calm the panic that had swept through her. She had no excuse or couldn't come up with one to hide behind her drunken confession, silently cursing herself for letting it out. "Steve," she turned around and practically ran into him as he now stood next to her in the kitchen, staring down at her, trying to get a read on her thoughts. Ever since that night of her birthday he had denied to himself what she had said, not wanting to admit what he really heard, but now as he stood there he wanted nothing more at that second than for her to admit that it was true. He couldn't get away from the feelings that she had woken up in him, and he didn't want to let her get away with pretending anymore either. He decided at that second that maybe it wasn't so crazy, the two of them.

He came out and just blatantly asked her. "The events of that night weren't just all because of Jacob, were they?"

"Yes, they were," she quickly defended her actions. "I really never meant to kiss you. The first one was just a thank you for being there and really meant nothing." She stared down at the glass in her hand, nervously playing with it, feeling his eyes on her but not able to look up and face him, "but it felt nice and calm and…" she shrugged, "so I did it again and it felt even better the second time. It just made me feel better," she finally confessed. "But it didn't really happen because of what you're thinking. I never thought in a million years you would ever kiss me back," she smiled slightly, "but you did."

He smiled, recalling the surprise over her talent in that department. " And I never expected in a million years for you to ever kiss me. I'm not saying I didn't like it, I was just surprised."

"Well you seemed to like it," she said shyly, "so…I did it again and then everything happened so fast and then it was over."

"Fast," he said wanting to elaborate on that word being thrown out there, feeling his manhood coming into question. "I was just following your lead. You were fast. I mean you finished pretty quick." He had been pretty proud of himself over that feat, never satisfying a woman that quickly before. He suddenly developed a painful expression on his face, thinking the worst. "You didn't fake it, did you Sarah? Just to get it over with?" Some of her nervousness began to rub off on him.

She looked up at him and could literally see the panic in his eyes over that idea. She quickly reassured him. "No, of course not! It's just that…" she shifted feeling slightly uncomfortable discussing that night in such detail, "that's never happened to me before with a man."

"Really?" He was even more astounded by that, but also couldn't help but feel that sense of pride once again. "I was that good huh?" he teased her.

Sarah looked up at his wicked smile. "Well you liked it too," she fired back, teasing him as well. "I don't even have to ask if you faked it. I know for a FACT that you didn't." She smiled pleasingly at him as she walked past him out of the kitchen with the glass in her hand.

"I'm not denying it. As a matter of fact I've never denied it and I've never once said that it was a mistake. Somehow you seem to think that I cringe every time I think about it, but I think you're the one that cringes over it."

"That's not true," she sat back down on the couch. "I just…" she started and then stopped.

He watched her whole body language change in a second. She became withdrawn and slouched down into the sofa. He sat across from her once again on the coffee table. "You just what?"

She slowly looked up at him, her eyes beginning to mist over. "I just thought that you would want a way out of this, so I didn't want you to know how I felt. I thought it would make it easier on you that way."

He mirrored his movement once again and took the seat next to her on the couch. He reached over and took one of her hands as she nervously picked at her thumbnail. A habit he recognized that she did when she was nervous or bored. "I don't want out of this relationship. We've been friends for a long time. I know now that you're right, we can't go back to the way things were." He spread her hand open and gently rubbed his fingers over her palm. "Maybe we should try a different approach."

She looked up, "Like what?"

He shrugged, "Maybe I'll take you out to dinner, or maybe you could make me dinner. I don't know, keep seeing each other but not necessarily as just friends anymore."

She stared at him and had to blink just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "You want to date me?"

He had to laugh over that parody, but it was exactly what he was suggesting. "Yeah, I guess. You leave me no other choice. It's either that or I keep beating up all the guys that try to hit on you, and well," he scoffed, "we know how that turned out."

Sarah smiled, but was still a little overwhelmed by his suggestion. "Do you think it would be awkward?"

"You're making it awkward by just saying that. Why can't it just be you and I sitting on your couch," he smiled over at her, "with me holding your hand. Why does it have to be complicated? I like you, you like me, lets just leave it at that for now and see what happens."

"I wonder if it will be awkward for the others?"  
"Forget them," Steve huffed. "if they don't like it, forget em'. This is between you and I." But what he really meant was fuck em'. He generally didn't care what others thought of him anyway. He didn't change who he was or what he believed in for anyone. It was something he always admired about her as well. That was one thing they had in common.

"Lets just keep this between you and I for now, ok?" she asked. If it didn't work out she didn't want to have to explain to anyone why.

He shrugged, "Ok." He let go of her hand and put his arm around her shoulder, playfully singing to her. "I've got a girlfriend."

Sarah laughed, moving away from him on the couch. "And with that said, don't think you're going to get another home run anytime soon. It's a new game and you're up to bat for the first time all over again." She grinned at him as he made his way closer to her. They had always been playful and she never felt uncomfortable being close to him, on the contrary most times she loved it. "You'll be lucky if you make it to first base." She laughed, putting her hands on his chest as he leaned over her, puckering his lips and making kissing sounds. "Behave yourself or I'm screaming for Mrs. Kettles."

Steve instantly moved away from her to the other side of the couch, raising his hands up in defense, "I wasn't touching anything." He smiled over at her as she laid back now with her head resting on the arm of the couch and her toes touching his thigh. It was Sarah looking back at him with that bright smile that had so many times brought his mood up the moment he walked in to work, but there was more to her than she had let on over the years. He was intrigued about what she kept hidden behind those beautiful auburn eyes. The mystery of that woman is what captivated him. She had only shown him bits and pieces of her true self, but none more than that night they were together. She changed him in a way that he was willing to forgo the awkwardness and the questions from the others over their relationship just to get back to that place with her. He loved her; there was no doubt in his mind about that, but in love? He wasn't sure what that even meant. In his mind they were committing to each other to see if they were compatible and if they could take that next step and find a common ground where they could both be happy. If that happened then he guessed that meant they were in love, otherwise those words were nothing more than just a cliché to him. He was slowly but surely moving away from seeing her as 'little sister Sarah' to seeing her as the woman looking up at him that night who magically appeared and shattered his image of her. She could be sexy as hell when she wanted to be.

Sarah smiled as he picked up her right foot and began to massage it. "Looking for brownie points?" she asked, moaning softly as he hit a soft spot just right.

"So are you telling me if I do this, then…" he motioned with his head toward her bedroom.

Sarah rolled her eyes and went to pull her foot away when he held on tightly to it.

"I'm just kidding." He set it down on his lap and slouched comfortably down into the couch, looking over at her. "I like being with you Sarah. I always have. Whether we're surfing, hiking, drinking beers or just hanging out on the couch. I'm not sure where this is going to go, but I'm willing to give it a shot and we don't have to jump into where we left off either. I'm okay with that." He smiled uneasily, "You know me though, maybe better than most people." He sighed heavily, "I just hope you don't end up hating me. You know what I can be like."

She saw the genuine concern in his eyes and sat up, "I do know you, probably better than most people do. But you know what? I also understand you better than most people do too."

A smile slowly emerged on his face, because no truer words had ever been spoken. "Don't forget though that I know you pretty well too."

She smiled devilishly at him. "You don't know anything about me."

He took that as a challenge and grabbed her knee. "I know you're ticklish right there from that time you had to sit on my lap in Danny's car."

Sarah screamed out, trying to pull away from him.

He let go and leaned over her, pinning her hands down on the couch. "I know you are a master at telling dirty jokes, and sometimes when you laugh really hard you snort."

Sarah blushed as she pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to fight him off. "I do not!"

"Yes you do!" He started to laugh as he struggled with her, "And you are also freakishly strong for a girl your size."

She stopped fighting him and let her legs relax as he settled down between them, but neither considered it an invitation.

He let go of the grip on her hands and rested on his elbows, looking down at her, surprised at how relaxing it was. He wasn't at all uncomfortable being this close to her now that their situation had evolved. It only reassured him that moving forward was the best solution. "I'm sorry for those things I said tonight," he apologized again.

"I know." Her heart was pounding wishing now she wouldn't have proposed that stupid suggestion of not having sex again, because when he was this close, all of her will power seemed to vanish.

"It's been a bitch of a day," recalling Jacob's funeral, "but I'm glad it's ending on a positive note." He kissed her cheek just once and pushed himself up off the couch, standing over her as she lay in the same position.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes." He picked his keys and phone up off the coffee table. "I don't want to wear out my welcome."

She stood up and followed him to the door. He turned just before opening it, "So what exactly did we get settled here tonight, just so I'm clear?"

"You're my new boyfriend, and that means you have to call me everyday and send me flowers once a week, take me out to dinner and you aren't allowed to speak or look at other women." She tried to look stern but wasn't doing a very good job.

He raised an eyebrow at her, "Yep, you're defiantly going to hate me."

Sarah smiled, "You're one of my best friends in the world. I'm just glad we talked."

He went to leave and turned to her once again. "Am I supposed to kiss you goodbye?" he asked teasingly.

She could feel her face turn a shade of red over that suggestion, not sure what she was supposed to do. She hated being so naïve, knowing that the women he dated were probably tall, beautiful and confident. She was none of those and it only made her seem like plain ole' Sarah on the inside. "I don't know," she said shyly, "this wasn't really a date or anything."

"That's right," he said nodding, "the rules." He used his fingers to count off the rules. "Flowers, calls, dinner, no girls. Flowers, calls dinner, no girls." He walked outside her door, mumbling it over and over as he walked down the stairs, waving over his shoulder.

"You are such a dork," she said to him, grinning from ear to ear. She laughed as she heard him repeat it again only louder as he turned the corner toward the parking lot.


	7. Chapter 7

Sarah rolled over in her bed and reached for her ringing cell. She grinned when the picture of Steve displayed.

"Hello," she said still a little groggy.

"Just calling to say hi," he said right off the bat, not wanting to alarm her.

Sarah laughed, looking at the digital clock display by her bed that read two-sixteen a.m. "You are too liberal with those rules. Where are you?"  
"Danny and I are watching a house over by Lanikai."

"Is he in the car with you?" she asked, wondering if he told him about the two of them.

"No, he stepped out to find a bush."

Sarah chuckled, lying back on the bed. "Thank you again for the flowers. They're beautiful." She looked over at the bouquet of roses that consisted of yellow, pink and white ones and in the middle was a single red one. They were sitting outside her doorstep that morning. She was pleased that he hadn't sent them to her work, not wanting the interrogation from the others over them or who they came from. Besides, the idea of him taking the time to bring them there himself was so much more flattering. The note attached had the four rules written on it and the word 'flowers' had a single line through it. She knew of course who had left them.

"I can mark off two of those rules now. This whole boyfriend thing really isn't that hard." He looked over as Danny opened the door to the Camaro and got in the passenger seat. "Gotta go."

"Okay, you two be safe."

"We will," he smiled, liking the sound of that for some reason. "Bye." He hung up and slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"Who was that?"

"No one," he replied, keeping Sarah's wish.

Danny stared at him. "What do you mean no one? You said 'bye' you were smiling like you just got good news. Who are you talking to at two-thirty in the morning if it doesn't involve the case?"

"Just never mind. Do you have to know everything?"

He held his hands up sarcastically "Excuse me! I didn't know you had a secret relationship that you had to keep under wraps."

Steve ignored him, replaying the call in his head and her pleasure over the roses. It was the first time he'd ever given anyone flowers before, pleased at the outcome. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel humming a song that had got stuck in his head from earlier.

Danny shifted in his seat, staring at him as if this stranger just appeared next to him. "What is with you all of a sudden? I go out to take a leak and I come back in and you hang up some mysterious call and then start humming, and what is with that goofy grin? Who was that?"

Steve glanced over at him, "I told you, it's none of your business and when the time comes for you to know I'll tell you. Maybe."

"Who is she? I know it's a girl."

Steve shook his head, informing him he wasn't talking.

"Shit," Danny said nervously. "It's not Rachel is it?"

Steve mirrored the same look he had just given him. "What?! Seriously? You think I would do that?"

"Well what am I supposed to think?" he fired back. "Who else would you be trying to keep hidden from me?"

"Just let it go."

"It must be someone we both know or you wouldn't be keeping it so secretive."

"God you're a pain in my ass."

"Let me see…" Danny thought out loud. "I can rule out at least three people. Kono, Sarah and I'm hoping Rachel." He reached over and hit his arm. "Katie right, from Sarah's department? You turned her? Convinced her to play on our team."

Steve laughed, "Believe me, if I had the power to turn a woman who likes other women, I wouldn't be hiding it. I'd have a sign on my back bragging about it."

Danny chuckled, "Then who is it?"

"Will you please concentrate on the job?" He motioned toward the house they were watching.

"Fine," he pouted, "I don't want to know."

"Good."

"Did you ever make up with Sarah from the other night?"

"Yes," he tried to act nonchalant about it. "I followed her home and apologized."

"What was that all about anyway?"

Steve shook his head and shrugged, "I don't know. I think it was just the stress of the day."

Danny scoffed, "You were acting like a jealous boyfriend." He went to say something else and looked over at him, pointing a finger at him in shock. "Is it Sarah?!"

Steve gave him the best 'are you serious' look he could possibly muster up under the circumstance, but knew it would only be a matter of time before Danny figured it out but he wanted to keep Sarah's wish and denied it anyway. He saw something out of the corner of his eye and looked toward the house. "Here we go. We're on the move."

Danny put on his seat belt as Steve started the car. "Don't follow too close."

"Don't tell me how to tail someone. I know how to tail someone." He pulled away from the curb and let them turn the corner before he turned the lights on.

"What are you doing?! Let's go!"

"Will you shut up and let me drive."

They turned the corner on their pursuit and the subject of Sarah was forgotten.

* * *

Sarah laid the little black dress on her bed and stared at it. "I can't do it. I can't wear that."

She backed up and caught a glimpse of herself in the dresser mirror. She had on a black push up bra and a pair of black silk bikini underwear. That alone was an adventure for her. She put her hand over her flat stomach, sucking it in so her chest stood out. "Maybe if I stood like this all night I could get away with it." She let out the breath she was holding in and her body went back to its normal self. She looked back at the dress and sighed.

Steve parked next to Sarah's car and began to walk up the path to her stairs when he looked up into her apartment and saw her standing by the sliding glass door wearing the black dress and black pumps. He stopped in his tracks, taken back by the sight of her.

"Holy smokes," he mumbled, admiring the woman in the window. If he hadn't known it was her apartment he never would have guessed that was Sarah. He was also flattered that she had gone the extra mile and dressed up for him, never seeing her in a dress before. She moved out of sight and he suddenly felt panicked over the night he had planned. When he mentioned dinner, she obviously thought nice dinner. He on the other hand assuming he knew her, thought dinner at Li Lings, a sushi and noodle place they often went too. He looked down at his casual shirt and jeans, cursing his attire. "Shit," he grumbled. He glanced down at his watch, knowing it was too late to run home and change. He pulled out his cell phone trying to find another place, hoping to get reservations.

Sarah heard him knock and came out of the bedroom slipping the black V-neck shirt over her head and pulling her hair out the back. She stopped halfway down the hall and adjusted the sandals on her feet and then smoothed down the white pants she had changed in to. She stopped and checked her hair one last time in the reflection of the TV before she opened the door. "Hi," she smiled brightly. "Leave it to a Navy Seal to be punctual."

He smiled but it quickly faded over the change of clothes as he did a once over of her body.

"What's wrong?" She looked down at her attire, wishing now she would have put on jeans, knowing that's what he was used too. She was trying too hard and she sensed that he knew that. Thank god she had at least changed out of the dress.

"Nothing, I just," he said, trying to cover his disappointment, "You look good. I look like a bum."

Sarah rolled her eyes as she turned to grab her purse. "You do not. You always look good no matter what."

Her compliment caught him off guard, but then he realized she was always complimenting him that way. He always took it with a grain of salt, it was just Sarah, but suddenly the whole knowledge of her true feelings toward him took center stage. His actions from that moment on meant something. He had to keep that in mind. "I like those pants," he said, not really knowing anything about them, except they were white and they fit her quite well.

She looked over her shoulder at him, "You do?"

He was amazed at how quickly her face lit up just over that simple little statement. '_Geez_,' he thought, '_that was easy_,' trying to go one better. "Yeah, I've never seen you dress up like that before."

She looked at him oddly. "Dress up like a woman you mean? So you only see me as what then? A little girl, or maybe a guy?"

He felt his stomach turn. '_Shit! Should have quit while you were ahead_.' "No, I mean you always wear your hair up in a pony tail or in that tight," he twirled his finger around his head, not being able to recall the word as he tried to back peddle his way out of it. "You know, thing, but it looks good down and you look really pretty. I mean you always look nice, but…" He had no idea where he was going with this, feeling the beginning of a frightful night until he saw the teasing smile on her face over his dilemma.

"You are so gullible Steve."

"Jesus!" he said lunging toward her in that playful way they always had, grabbing her around the waist from behind and shaking her. "Don't do that to me!"

Sarah laughed, "You're certainly not the sweet talker are you?"

He held onto her and shifted so he could see her face. "Is that going to be another rule I have to live up to?"

"No." she patted his hand that held her around the waist. "What you said was very nice. I just couldn't help giving you a hard time. You should have quit while you were ahead."

He let go of her. "I was thinking the same thing. So what I did say kind of strike a nerve with you?"

She shrugged, "I know what I look like. I don't think I'm ugly but I also know that I'm not what guys normally take a second look at as I walk by. I'm ok with that if you are?"

"Sarah," he said, shocked over the way she viewed herself. She had been one of the few women he knew that could feel natural in their own skin, or so he thought. He loved that about her more than anything else. But hearing her now, he wished that he had showered her with the same compliments she had always given him. "Hey," he said wanting her to hear him, "you are very pretty."

She tilted her head, giving him a look as if she knew he was lying. "You really think I'm attractive in that way?" she asked, as if daring him to admit it.

"Yes." He held her by the arm as she tried to walk away. "I've always seen you as this strong, independent, willful, funny, intelligent woman. Too me, that has always been what attracted me to you. That's why were friends, that's why this has become what it is. You could very easily be the type of girl who men looked over their shoulder at, but you've never strived to be that girl, so I don't know why you hold that against us, but the more I got to know YOU, the real you," he smiled, "believe me, I've got whip-lash from looking so many times." He let go of her arm and reached up, moving a piece of hair off her shoulder. "I think your stunning."

She was wrong about him; he was quite charming, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Thank you," she replied sincerely.

"You're welcome." Not realizing for a second the impact he had actually made on her, instead he simply pointed over his shoulder with his thumb. "Can we go now, because I'm starving?"

"Yes, we can go."

She walked next to him to his truck and for the first time she truly felt like she belonged there.

* * *

Sarah sighed as she unlocked her apartment door. "I can't believe you lied to Danny."

"Well, you didn't want me to say anything to anyone about us, so I had too."

"But still," she turned around facing him. "Do you feel bad about it?" She hoped not. She didn't think about him actually having to physically lie about them, she just thought that not saying anything would cover it.

He shrugged, "Not really. I like stringing him along." He pointed toward his lower neck. "Danny gets this little vein right here that pulsates when he gets really frustrated with me. I make it my mission to get that thing pumping."

Sarah laughed. "Please don't lie for me anymore though. If he asks, I don't want you to lie to your partner."

"Don't worry about him. Our little secret is safe."

She leaned back against the door frame, not sure what his next move was going to be. Was he going to kiss her? Her heart began to race over the thought of that. The whole night had been easy with him because she was just having dinner with Steve like she had done countless times before, but now as they stood there, he wasn't Steve her friend he was Steve her date and even though she had wanted this moment to happen for as long as she'd known him, she couldn't believe how nervous she felt now that it was actually happening.

The break in the conversation left a dead silence that was his cue to make the next move, knowing she was waiting for him. He suddenly felt like he did that night in bed with her, the expectations were there he just wasn't sure how to deliver them. It's not like it would be their first kiss he thought, but even so, it wasn't just some girl he was standing there with. It was Sarah.

She felt the moment slipping away, guessing he wasn't going to so she decided to get him off the hook. She opened the door, keeping her hand on the doorknob. "I think I owe you the next dinner, but you know I'm not much of a cook, so it might be pizza or spaghetti."

"I've had your spaghetti, it's pretty good." He could feel his palms sweating completely wrecked over this moment. '_Just kiss her_.' But he couldn't get himself to move.

She smiled, looking down at her feet, "Okay then." She glanced back up at him. "I'll guess I'll see you tomorrow." She understood now that the physical attraction obviously wasn't there for him. It was what she had feared the most, but also what she had prepared herself for too. They were perfect in all other aspects but she couldn't blame him if it wasn't there.

He nodded, feeling like he was sixteen years old, standing on the porch with a girl and scared shitless of what to do. She went to close the door and he reached out, putting his hand on it. "Sarah." After her earlier confession he didn't want to leave and have her thinking that it was physically because of her, too him it was completely psychological.

She looked up at him. "What?"

He could sense the disappointment. "I have to confess that…I don't know what I'm supposed to do." He corrected that last statement, "I mean I do know, but…" he ran his hand over his mouth nervously, not sure how to say it.

"It's ok," she shrugged, "we said we were going to take it for what it was and it's ok Steve. Maybe we're better off as just friends. Attraction between two people is the number one thing you have to have and it's no ones fault if…"

He slid his hand behind her neck and kissed her before she could finish that sentence. It was the exact thing he didn't want her thinking because it wasn't true, and the only way to convince her of that was to show her.

Her hand slipped off the doorknob and fell to her side, mirroring the other one. She stood there and felt like the only thing holding her up was his hand that cupped the back of her neck. She literally couldn't feel her legs anymore. The moment was so unsuspecting she didn't even have time to respond.

He pulled away from her lips just far enough to see her face and watched as her eyes slowly opened, looking right at him. He smiled at her expression, "Its always that first one that has to break the ice," he whispered, and then kissed her again.

It was like that night all over again, only better. He kissed her first this time. He was right that they just had to get that first one out of the way because once they did, they fell right back into place.

He felt her hand glide up his arm, which only encouraged him.

His body pin her against the door frame as she gripped the back of his neck, tilting her head as the kiss deepened.

'_Damn!_' he thought but it came out as a low growl as her exceptional talent took over. She knew how to kiss, but what he found most intriguing was that she knew how to kiss him. The image of her beneath him flashed in his head and he wanted to guide her back to her room that was only a few feet away and relive that night again. He broke from the kiss and was about to make that move when he hesitated and then stopped altogether.

Sarah opened her eyes, falling in love with him all over again.

He recognized that look in her eyes as she stared at him, seeing it only once before, on that same night he was trying to emulate, and just like then it gave him a feeling of security knowing that she loved him. He didn't want to do anything to harm the woman who looked at him like that. He wanted to be with her, but not tonight. She deserved to be looked upon in the same way before they went that far again, and even though he loved her, he couldn't bring himself to risk hurting her knowing she wasn't seeing the same expression from him.

"I'm going to go," he said stepping back, not wanting to get involved in another one of her kisses or he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

"Ok," she said breathless but couldn't hide her regret over it.

"When you make that spaghetti I want those little meatballs that you made last time too," he requested, assuring her that just because he was leaving, this little secret affair they had going wasn't over.

She smiled over that. "All right."

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow Sarah."

"Bye." She waved as he looked over his shoulder making his way down the steps.

"Go inside," he ordered, as he stood on the last one, "and make sure you lock up."

She knew that was his way of telling her he loved her, even though he didn't say it out right, she knew. She rolled her eyes with a wide grin and went inside, locking the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Sarah flipped the pot of boiling water full of spaghetti into the colander. She poured some olive oil over the top while it was still steaming, stirring it around until it was mixed in. She moved over to the pan of meatballs and picked it up by the handle, shaking the pan as the small round balls rolled around. She set it back down and took the lid off the pot of sauce next, using a wooden spoon to mix it and then took a small taste, grinning. "Yum, nice job Sarah."

She looked over her shoulder at her ringing cell phone.

"Hi," she answered, "dinners almost ready."

Steve sighed, "I'm sorry Sarah. I'm going to be late." He stared at the pile of papers on his desk as well as a partially completed report that was displayed on his laptop.

She looked at the feast she had prepared but hid her disappointment. "That's ok. Work?"

"Yes. I don't know when I'm going to get out of here." Wishing he could run out. He needed one of those days when the two of them could just sit and be.

"Just come over when you're done, if you're still hungry and up to it, otherwise don't worry about it. We'll try again."

Steve glanced at his watch, trying to get an estimate. He'd been up since four in the morning and it was already pushing seven in the evening, but he didn't want to stand her up, especially since she'd cooked. He also felt this constant need to reassure her that he was still in the game, even though she had never really challenged him on it, it was there. He felt another headache coming on not needing another issue to deal with after the day he had, but he'd already taken six aspirin. He could have taken the whole bottle and knew it wouldn't cure the throbbing. "How late is too late?"

"Ten o'clock, I guess. I don't know. Why don't we just play it by ear?" She sensed something, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He saw Danny coming across the way to his office. "I have to go. I'll call you." He hung up and set his phone down before Danny caught him, not wanting to get into another cross-examination. Three in one day was enough. He looked down at the paperwork on his desk, seeing the name Akoni Leese all over it. He cringed as the earlier incident flashed through his mind.

"IAD is here," Danny said standing at his office door. He could see the pained expression on Steve's face, not from the news of Internal Affairs but from the reason they were there to begin with.

Sarah looked at her phone after he had hung up so abruptly, but figured he must have been busy. She reached over turning the sauce off and pulled the meatballs off the burner. She scooped up a small plate of food just to hold her over for a while incase he showed up later. She knew his work and also knew she had better get used to those calls because they were a reality.

* * *

She heard the knock on her door and opened to Steve with a tired grin, a day old beard and eyes that looked like he needed sticks to keep open.

"Hi," she stepped out of the way, letting him in. "You look exhausted. You must really be hungry," she chuckled.

He was tired, but not hungry. The hunger portion of his brain had shut down, all he really wanted was sleep, but on his way home he once again felt that guilt of needing to let her know that he appreciated her efforts. It was out of the way but he figured he owed her. "I got here as soon as I could."

"You didn't have to come at all." She closed the door as he went for the couch, falling down into it.

"Yes I did."

"It's just spaghetti, it's not like I cooked filet mignon or anything spectacular."

He looked up at her, getting a little perturbed that she didn't even appreciate that he'd gone out of his way to come over. He started to get the idea that maybe she was a little irritated that he showed up late to begin with. "Do you want me to leave?"  
She stopped and looked down at him, surprised by his tone. "What?"

"I got here as soon as I could. I didn't even want to come over but I felt like I had too."

She crossed her arms, staring down at him wondering where the hostility was coming from. "I told you, you didn't have to come over. If you were so tired then why did you?"

"Because you cooked."

"So what?"

"I didn't want you to think I was standing you up. I'm here for you not the food."

"Why would I think that? You were at work." She narrowed her eyes at him, questioning his whereabouts. "You were at work, right?"

"So now you think I'm lying?"

She shook her head, "I don't know what to think. As a matter of fact, I don't even know who you are!"

He pushed himself up off the couch. "I'm the guy that constantly feels like I have to assure you that I'm still in this."

"Why would you have to do that? Do you not want to be, because I don't recall ever questioning your presence?"

"I don't even know why I came over."

"I don't either. Go home!" She opened the door for him. "And just so you know, Steve," she said bitterly. "I survived the last twenty-seven years without your," she used her fingers as quotes, "'reassuring' me that you are around and I can certainly survive another twenty-seven."

"You're making this too hard!"

"No Steve, you are! Look at you. You're always so wound up and closed off on the inside you don't even know what you're supposed to feel! Like right now. I don't know what the hell is the matter with you, but I don't want that kind of man."

He wasn't sure what was happening between them. His mind was so cluttered with the events of the day he couldn't rationally decipher this argument that he was still trying to blame on her. He stared at her wanting to tell her but it was still so raw. He felt the weight of the day on his shoulders, needing to lash out and finding her to be a suitable target, but not realizing until it was too late that he needed her for support. A lesson he would learn the hard way. "I'm so sorry, Sarah that I turned out to be such a fuck up in your eyes, what a disappointment that must be for you. The outside isn't always as pretty as the inside, is it!" he yelled. "You knew who I was going in to this and you waited until you had me just where you wanted me and then you tear apart the very person that you said you wanted, pointing out my weakness, proving that I'm a failure!"

She stared at him, not ever seeing this side of him before. "What is wrong with you?" She was becoming more worried than angry.

"I'm not good enough for you, isn't that what you just said. Well," he started down the stairs, "good riddance for you then."

He disappeared around the corner of her building and she didn't even have the will to go after him, not knowing how to argue with the words that were coming out of his mouth. She had no idea what had just happened.

She closed the door, leaning back against it. "Go to hell," she said bitterly, guessing this was his way of getting out. She heard a cell phone ringing, not recognizing the tone as hers. She followed the sound to the couch, seeing Steve's sticking out halfway from between the two cushions.

She saw a picture of Danny as the caller. His face as red as could be, sunburned from the chest up, remembering the day Steve had taken it. "Hi Danny," she answered.

"Sarah?" He pulled his phone away from his ear, checking the number he called.

"Yes."

"Is Steve there with you?"

"He was, but he just left. Which I can't say I'm not glad. He was being a total ass. He must have dropped his phone in the couch. "

Danny sighed, leaning against the counter in his kitchen. "Did he tell you what happened? I'm guessing not."

Sarah began to get a bad feeling over his delivery of that question. "No," she said apprehensively, sitting down on the couch waiting for the news.

"We were checking out a lead today and the guy took off running. All we wanted to do was question him. He ran down an alley. I had the jump on him and was ahead of Steve when I heard a couple of shots come from behind me. I turned around and the guy's son had come out the back way with a 45 automatic and was aiming at me. Steve shot him and killed him."

"Oh God" Sarah groaned.

"That's not the worst of it," Danny continued. "He was only fourteen."

"Oh my God," Sarah cried, feeling sick to her stomach, completely understanding now.

* * *

Steve slammed the door to his truck closed, pounding the palm of his hand on the steering wheel. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he yelled out, taking his elbow and slamming it into the driver's side window, cracking it and barely getting away without cracking his elbow as well. He kicked his left leg out, bracing it against the back of the floor board, pushing his body into the seat and punched the ceiling of the car with his fist over and over until the pain was too much.

He fell forward on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly trying to calm himself and trying to come to terms with what he had done to that poor kid and to Sarah. He wanted to go back up so badly, needing her but it was too late. The damage was done and he'd said too much, not even remembering half of what he did say, but knowing it was harsh and maybe unforgivable. He missed her already, cursing himself for letting that side of him get control. His fear over living with the shooting had caused him to lose control; he was never going to learn. Sarah was right; she didn't deserve someone like him.

The door next to him opened as the lights in the cab came on. He looked up and saw her standing there. She didn't have to say anything for him to know that somehow she knew. There was no anger showing from what had just happened between them, only a deep concern for his well-being as she leaned in putting her arms around his neck, hugging him.

"Danny called," she whispered.

He dropped his head on her shoulder, feeling weak as the day came crashing down on him. How could he have said those things to her? He needed her. "Sarah," he spoke with so much regret in his voice that she pulled away from him.

"Don't." She put her hands on his face that looked as if he might crumble right there before her. "You don't have to say anything. We don't even have to talk about it," she leaned in and kissed him. "Just come back inside with me." She took his hand guiding him out of the truck. "Come on."

He went with her as if she were some divine apparition that was leading him to nirvana.

She walked him through the front door, turning off the lights as they made their way back to her room. She laid down next to him as they faced each other in her bed. She kept her promise of not talking about it, letting him decided to sleep or talk, which ever he needed the most. He couldn't be pushed she knew that well enough.

This place was nirvana, or maybe she was, but whichever he finally felt a peace that he didn't know would come so soon.

"They suspended me for a week," he finally said. "I've never been disciplined before."

"I find that hard to believe," she joked, smiling from that statement and pleased that he was opening up to her.

He smiled back, feeling relaxed, but just when he thought he was safe the image of the boy in the alley turned on him. The smile faded just as quick. "He was only fourteen Sarah," his voice shuttering over that.

"He was also carrying a gun and pointing it at the only brother you have. Would you rather it be Danny in the morgue?"

He stared at her, not expecting to hear that. "No."

"Then you did the right thing. You had no choice. You didn't put him in that alley. You didn't put that gun in his hand. You only prevented him from murdering your Partner."

"I should have shot him in the leg."

"Then why didn't you?"

"It happened so fast and he was running towards Danny with the gun pointed at his head."

"So then you couldn't have shot him in the leg. Stop second guessing yourself."

"I think I would have missed if I aimed for his leg."

"That's why you didn't." She moved closer to him. "I know it's hard because he was only fourteen, and that's a terrible thing. But you're a good man Steve and if you let this eat at you, it will eventually change who you are, and you don't deserve that because none of this was your fault. You did what you had to do, what you were trained to do and when all is said and done, that's what everyone else is going to see too. This wasn't your fault."

His guilt moved to her. How could he have said those things to her and risked losing this? "You were right, all those things you said earlier. I don't deserve you."

"I'm not completely blameless. I do question you're devotion. I try not to show it because I know you like strong, independent women, but you saw through me."

Steve smiled at her, "We know each other too well."

"I don't know if that's good or bad."

"Tonight it was good," he slid an arm under her shoulder and rolled over on his back, taking her with him. "Very, very good."

She rested her head on his shoulder and her arm over his chest. They both kicked their shoes off the end of the bed. Steve gently massaged her arm that lay across him. "Play hooky with me tomorrow. Let's go someplace."

She smiled, "Where?"

"I don't care, wherever you want."

"You might live to regret those words."

"Never." He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her forehead and closed his eyes, feeling completely at peace now that the end of one of the worst days of his life was finally over.

* * *

Sarah reached out, taking his hand as he helped her balance while she jumped from one large boulder to another.

"I love this spot," she said, walking out to the edge where the ocean began. They were halfway through the hike to Kaena Point that led out to the Northeastern edge of the island. It was the perfect place to escape for the day. The Hawaiian's called it Jump Off Point, believing that when their people died their souls would go to that spot and jump off into the next life. They were two miles from where they parked the truck and stood looking out at some of the most beautiful scenery in all of Oahu.

He stood next to her, staring at the same serene vision. "We could build a house, right here." He motioned with his hands to the area around them. "Put in a nice lanai and then sit out here every night and watch the sunset."

Sarah looked over at him, never hearing him say the word 'we' when speaking of the future. "That would be nice."

He slid his backpack off his shoulders and unzipped one of the pockets, handing her a bottled water.

She took a drink and handed it back to him as he did the same.

"Do you want to stop at Hidden Beach, or go all the way?" he asked her.

"I don't care." She looked over her shoulder at a family of three that passed them on the trail. She waved as they gestured to her.

The Father called out to them. "Do you know how much further it is to the end?"

Steve answered as he slipped the backpack back on. "About a mile and half. You'll come to a fence with a gate, it's only a couple hundred yards after that."

The wife looked at her husband as if she were surprised at the distance and made it all too clear that she didn't want to go that distance either.

"It's really worth the hike," Sarah added.

"Thank you," he yelled out as they kept walking. The young boy on the other hand acted as if it was just a walk in the park running ahead and then stopping to wait and then running again.

"Think they'll make it," Sarah asked as they continued on, jumping from boulder to boulder.

No," Steve laughed. "The wife obviously doesn't want too. And you know the saying," he glanced over his shoulder at her, "a happy wife makes a happy life."

"I've never heard that before," she joked.

"Really? Then I should have kept my mouth shut. Would have saved me a world of trouble. I could have played dumb." He jumped down off a rock, standing over a tide pool.

She stared at the back of him, surprised again that he had made the subtle suggestion of her in the future. She didn't know what was up, but she liked it. She smiled down at him as played like a little kid with some tiny black crabs that were scurrying about in the tide pool. God she loved him. He looked over his shoulder just then and smiled up at her, turning back to his game and then quickly looked back at her, seeing something in her expression. He stood up recognizing that same look she had the night they slept together. It was incredible how just a look could make him feel the way it did. She had chosen him. He couldn't believe how lucky he was for that.

"What?" she asked, giggling over his sudden attention aimed solely at her.

"I like you," he said out of the blue and with every bit of sincerity in the tone.

She bent her head, feeling her face flush, but when she looked back up at him he hadn't faltered, locking eyes with her again. She felt it all the way down to her toes. She responded in the same way. "I like you too."

He held her gaze for a couple more seconds before looking back out over the water, smiling. "Remember when we brought Jacob here?"

She jumped down to where he was, using his shoulder as a brace. "Yes. You had to carry him on your shoulders most of the way."

He sighed, "I miss him."

"So do I."

"He was such a great kid."

She turned to him, "What was his Mom talking about the day of the funeral? What pact did you make between the two of you?"

Steve smiled recalling the moment in his backyard, it just made him miss him all the more. "He asked if we could pretend that I was his Dad. That's why he started calling me Stevo. It was our code name." He looked over at her as his smile slowly faded. "That kid yesterday, he was just trying to protect his Dad when I shot him."

"Steve," Sarah said, reminding him again of his duty and actions.

He held his hand up to her, "I know, I know. I did the right thing, I get that." He touched her on the arm, mainly for leading him down that path and for convincing him it was the right one, but he still held the guilt that it was he that pulled the trigger. "It's just hard thinking about Jacob and then knowing that that kid was just like him once."

She let him have this moment, allowing him to grieve for the boy he shot. He needed that, but she also felt confident that he wouldn't let it consume him like it had the night before.

"I was pretty messed up last night," he confessed, sliding his hand down her arm until it slipped into hers. "I don't know if I apologized yet for the things I said or the way I treated you."

"Its okay, Steve…" she began when he cut her off.

"No it's not. You didn't deserve it," he looked down ashamed, "and then after all that you still had the will to come out and find me." He squeezed her hand, knowing those adoring looks she gave him and the loyalty she displayed were all because she loved him, both as a friend and more. "I woke up last night with you lying next to me and it made me realize how important this relationship is. How important you are. I think I took it for granted that you would always be there, buts that not always the case. It hit me then that I could lose you and what that would do to me if I did." That fear rose up in him and revealed itself in his eyes. "I don't want to lose you Sarah. I won't hurt you like that again. I'll change for you."

"I don't want you to change for me," she scolded him. "I like you the way you are. Relationships aren't about changing yourself to suit the other person; they're about knowing that other person and accepting who they are. I understand you, even last night when we were arguing I knew there was something more to what was going on. I like that you're a puzzle," she grinned, "sometimes it takes a while to get all the pieces put together but I eventually figure it out," she held tight to his hand but stepped back, showing him off, "and look what I get to end up with once it's all put together."

He shook his head in amazement at her. "I've never met a woman quite like you Sarah. You're one of a kind."

She shrugged like it was no big deal. "You've probably never met one that had as much patients as I do."

He pulled her close up against him. "I want this to work. I don't want you to think even for a second that I'm not here for you too. You do know me and you also know that my family and my friends take priority over everything else. " He paused, smiling at her. "And you'll take priority over them all."

"Wow!" She took him by the arms and pretended like she was looking him over. "Who are you and what did you do with Steve?"

He playfully grabbed her around the body so her arms were pinned at her side. "You created a monster with your rules. Flowers, phone calls, dinners." He kissed her cheek as she giggled. "If you don't like me now you have only yourself to blame."

"I like it! I like it!" she shouted.

"Whoa!" Steve yelled as a large wave came up and almost soaked the two of them, washing over the tide pool filling it up to the their knees.

He jumped up on the rocks, pulling her up the rest of the way out of the water as another one came close to doing the same.

"Tides coming in," Sarah announced.

"So is the rain." He pointed over her shoulder toward the mountains that ran parallel along the trail. The sky over the ocean was a blue as could be, but behind them dark clouds began to filter over the top of the peaks, it was a beautiful sight but also meant they were going to get wet. "We better get moving."

They started walking as Sarah took the lead and he followed her footsteps, jumping from rock to rock. They got about a hundred yards when they heard someone scream. They both stopped, looking ahead about a hundred yards, seeing the Mother of the family that had passed them earlier standing on the edge of a boulder by the water, screaming frantically.

They both took off running toward her, Steve passing Sarah as they came upon a patch of flat ground. They were almost to her when the woman turned and saw them and started running toward them, the panic on her face was heart stopping.

"Help me! she screamed. "Help me!"

Steve caught her by the arms as she practically barreled into him. She tried to drag him back to where she had been.

"My son!" she screamed. "He fell in the water!"

He let go of her and dropped the backpack off his shoulders as he ran toward the boulder she had been standing on with Sarah on his heels. He stopped on the end and looked out over the water seeing the small boy being tossed about in the waves and his father trying desperately to get to him but the waves and current were pulling him in the other direction.

"Call 911," he said to Sarah as he took off running, following the edge of the water, jumping from boulder to boulder but keeping the boy in his sight. He got about twenty yards down and Sarah watched as he slipped his shoes off and stood on the edge of a boulder and waited for the next wave and then dove off into the surf. Her heart dropped to her stomach.

She dialed for help as she ran to the edge, trying to see him. "Oh God please!" she mumbled, "please."

"Where is he going?" the Mother yelled.

"He has to get ahead of the current." She turned her attention to the phone as dispatch answered. "Code 6123," she said, giving the official code for an officer in need, saving time. "Commander Steven McGarrett, Five 0 unit. This is Sarah Hickey. We are approximately two miles east of Highway 930 on the Kaena Point Trail. A boy fell in the water and he's attempting a rescue. The father of the child is in the water as well; he seems distressed and is caught in the current taking him west along the shore. High tide and the surf is strong. Requesting Coast Guard assistance."

"Roger that request," dispatch answered, "notifying Coast Guard and Fire Emergency units to your location. Please stay on the line until units arrive. Has Commander McGarrett located the child?"

"Yes," Sarah replied feeling the adrenaline soaring through her. "He's almost to him, but the father is about a hundred feet away still moving west."

The mother grabbed Sarah by the arm as if needing a steady hand, all the while frantically calling out to her son. "He's going to go past him!" she shouted in distress as Steve neared the boy.

"No he won't. He's a Police Officer and an ex-Navy Seal. He knows exactly what he's doing." She watched with relief as he grabbed the boy around the chest and they both laid back, letting the water take them closer to the father who was struggling to swim over to them against the current.

Steve used his free arm and swam backwards toward the father, hoping to get there before the man wore himself out. "What's your name Buddy?" he asked the boy who seemed to be about ten years old and was crying. "It's ok, I got you. What's your name?"

"C…Chris," he shuttered, holding on to to Steve's forearm with both his hands.

"I'm Steve, Chris. We're going to swim over to your Dad and then we're going to wait until help gets here to get us out. You're going to be ok Buddy. I promise."

"Okay," he cried, looking over to shore and seeing his Mother.

"Chris!" his father yelled as they got closer, reaching for his son.

"I got him," Steve said, putting a hand out so the man wouldn't latch on to him in his state of panic and take them both under. "Stay right there!"

"Give him to me!" he said, trying to get past him, not understanding why he was preventing him from getting to his boy.

"You're tired, if you take him you'll both go under. I'm a police officer. Help is on the way. Calm down!" his voice stern and commanding.

The man responded to the authority in his voice and stopped fighting and began to tread water. "Are you okay son?"

"Yes," he nodded, still crying.

Steve started swimming away from shore as the tide began to bring them in. "We have to swim away from shore. It's too rocky over there if we get caught in the tide."

"Shouldn't we try to swim parallel and find a safer place?" the father asked, already sounding winded.

"Too risky. The Coast Guard will be here in a couple of minutes." He knew Sarah well enough to know that she would say all the right things to get them help as quickly as possible.

"Steve," she yelled out, wanting to warn him as another big wave washed over them. "Oh God." She held her breath as all three of them went under; she then let it out as all three popped back up in the water. "See," she said to the mother, almost breathless "I told you they'd be okay. He knows what he's doing."

"Look," Chris pointed over the horizon.

Steve and the father both looked to where he was pointing, seeing a Coast Guard helicopter approaching from the east.

"I told you," Steve said, "almost home."

* * *

Sarah stood off to the side as the helicopter lowered Steve on to the shore from the cable after hoisting him out of the water last. The Fireman had arrived a few minutes earlier on ATV's and in a four-wheel drive vehicle that was able to maneuver the trail. They assisted him in removing the device around his chest and legs and then pushed it away and waved up to the guy leaning out the door, letting him know they were all good.

She had heard stories of him on the job and some of the Seal missions that he'd talked about, but she had never seen him in action first hand. It was surreal to watch, as he didn't even hesitate to jump in the water and go after that boy and his father. She was sure he didn't even consider the danger to himself; he just saw them in trouble and went in, risking his own life for two complete strangers. She watched him now as he talked and even laughed with a couple of the EMT's as they gave him the once over.

The family huddled together after getting the ok from the Paramedics, but was still advised to watch for trouble symptoms.

She smiled at him as they walked toward each other, but her smile turned to relief that he was all right.

"Sarah," he halfheartedly laughed, hugging her as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He was surprised that she was this upset. "I'm fine. It was nothing. I was more worried about the father drowning us than the surf."

She pulled away from him and laughed. "Be quite and just let me have this second of relief." She put her hands on his bare chest after the Paramedics had removed his shirt. "I knew you were going to be okay, but it still scared me."

He liked it, not that she was scared, but that she was afraid for him. He gently rubbed his hands up and down her arms, calming her. "It's all good." He pulled her in then and kissed her, thanking her for that.

"Excuse me," the father of the boy said, standing behind them.

Steve turned around to a hand that was held out. "Thank you for what you did. I don't know how to repay you. I'm not sure either one of us would have made it out of there if it wasn't for you."

"You seemed pretty determined to get to your boy. I think you would have made it."

Sarah stared at him, amazed that he refused to take the credit for saving both of their lives and instead ensuring the father that he could have done it.

"You have to be careful of those sneaker waves," Steve reminded him. "It happens all the time. I'm just glad I was able to help."

"Thank you again Officer. I'm deeply indebted."

"Enjoy the rest of your vacation," he smiled, "but stick to Waikiki Beach."

"Good advice," the father laughed, "I'll take it." His wife came up next and didn't offer her hand but a hug.

"Thank you so much," she said. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Steve put an arm around her, hugging her back but looked at Sarah for help, feeling the gratitude was too much. "Anyone would have done the same thing."

She let go of him. "Not true, but thank you."

He looked down at Chris. "Be careful around the ocean Buddy. She has no mercy and she's quick to catch you off guard."

He nodded, "I will. Thank you for saving me."

"You're welcome, but I think you should thank your Dad. He jumped in first."

Chris looked up at his Father, backing up into him, feeling that security.

* * *

Sarah followed Steve inside his house, watching him as he went for the kitchen. He reached in the fridge and pulled out a gallon jug of water. She admired him as he took a long drink from it. His body was lean and strong, showing earlier just what it was capable of. After what she had experienced on that trail, both with his sweet talk and then diving in that water, her want for him was off the charts.

He held the jug out to her, slightly breathless. "Do you want some?"

She walked toward him, holding his gaze. "Yes," she replied, ignoring the water and putting her hands on his chest and moving them slowly up around his neck and then kissed him.

He let the jug fall to his side, slightly caught off guard by the kiss, but quickly joined in using his free arm to pull her closer, following her lead. He loved the way she kissed.

She tilted her head and they only broke for a second as they shifted and tore into each other again with even more zest. He managed to get the water back on the shelf and move her out of the way, letting the fridge close on its own. This gave him two free hands, which he used to his advantage.

She stood up on her toes, cupping the back of his neck and deepened the kiss, which only encouraged him to lift her up on the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist as they shifted their heads again, diving into one another. She wanted him right here, right now.

Steve pulled back, "Wait!" he said panting, "Just wait!"

She stared at him, wondering if she had forced herself on him too quickly like the last time, turning him off, but before she could get that troubling thought out he reassured her that wasn't the case.

He lifted her off the counter, carrying her toward the stairs. "I want you in my bed and naked this time."

"Yes," she agreed wholeheartedly, tearing into his neck as he began to ascend the stairs.

He stopped at the top, pushing her up against the wall as his knee spread her leg and his hand moved up under her shirt, all the while devouring her lips and tasting the sweetness as she played mercilessly with him.

She wrapped a leg around his as he pulled her away from the wall, partly carrying her and at the same time feeling his way down the hall to his room.

She was literally delirious, anticipating the next few minutes, already aching so badly for him.

They stood next to the bed and he looked down, concentrating on undoing the buttons on her shirt while she worked the belt and button on his shorts. He glanced up at her for just a second and they locked eyes. The intensity of the moment took over and they both relinquished their duties as he buried his hand in her hair and kissed her again. He'd never in his life wanted anyone so badly before as he did Sarah at that second.

He began to fumble with her shirt again and she moved his hands, ripping it open as two of the buttons hit him in the chest. They both laughed.

The moment calmed as she looked at him with that stellar expression, elevating him to a new high. He kissed her again, only this time it was tender and he took his time, showing her he felt the same way. He moved to her neck as he slipped her shirt off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor at their feet.

She reached behind her back and undid her bra as he helped her slip it off. He moved down and untied the bow on her athletic shorts and slipped his thumbs in the waistband, sliding them and her panties down her legs as she stepped out of them. She swallowed, suddenly feeling self-conscious never seeing her body as something a man would necessarily admire. She looked down at him to see his expression as he made his way back up her body, kissing her belly. His hands followed the curve of her waist but his eyes stayed on hers until they were facing, already knowing it was perfection.

"You're so beautiful Sarah."

She blushed looking to her side. "No I'm not.  
"Yes you are," he whispered, moving his hands over her back. "You're skin is so soft. You feel so good," he professed, searching out her lips.

She'd never had a man say those things to her before or speak to her in such a way that she would honestly believe him. The shyness vanished as she moved up against him, feeling the hair on his chest brush over her nipples. He slipped out of his shorts and laid her back on the bed, running his hand down between her breasts just before he took one in his mouth, savoring the beauty of it.

* * *

Sarah laid her head back as he held her around the waist, pushing down on her hips as she rocked back forth straddling his lap. He knew she was close. He just had to hold back for a couple more seconds, but it was getting more difficult. She was so amazingly sexy and the way she moved her body on him was mesmerizing. The previous three orgasms he'd had that night already were unbelievable in the way that they left his body crippled, needing to rest and recover, but here they were again.

He slid his hand down between her legs, helping her along and the moment he did he smiled, feeling her body shutter and his name being served up in a way that helped him along as well. Her hand gripped his shoulder, digging her fingers into it as he watched her face, loving the expression that he could only describe as complete euphoria that shown when she came.

Sarah leaned into him, tightening her pelvic muscles as her body stroked him, hearing his release, which only encouraged her movement to be more aggressive. She was already weak from her own closure but it still felt amazing. He pleaded with a higher power and she felt a gentle tug on her hair as he clasped a handful of it. It lasted longer than the others, which pleased her to no end. He laid her back on the bed pushing into her a couple more times before he finally came to rest and his body relaxed along with hers.

She felt a bead of sweat run down her temple into her hair and wiped away a generous amount from his forehead as well as he laid on her shoulder, both of them breathing heavier than normal as their bodies calmed.

He lifted himself up, moaning over the effort, searching out her lips and kissed her. "Thank you," he mumbled and lay back down again.

They both giggled over it.

"You're welcome." She stroked his back feeling confident that she had pleased him, never feeling so uninhibited in bed before with a man. With the other two the most adventurous she had gone was getting on top once, but the man had commented that he didn't like her hair in his face. She never did it again, until Steve rolled her over and put her there. She tried to hold her hair back not wanting to experience that uncomfortable moment again but he pulled her hand away, liking the feel of it on his chest and the way she looked with it hanging down over her shoulders. When it did become cumbersome he held it, which he enjoyed immensely.

He lay still, enjoying the soft touch on his back. It was relaxing. "That feels good," he moaned.

"Repaying you for the good job you just finished."

He smiled, running his hand up and down her body. "Anything I can do for you? Either now or earlier?" he asked.

"Nope," she sighed happily, "I'm quite content in both departments." She looked down barely able to see his face that was sill on her shoulder. "What about you? Anything I can do that I'm not to make it better?" She was wondering if he was opening the subject, hoping for her to ask.

He wasn't expecting anything from her that she wasn't already giving him, knowing she wasn't very experienced, but even so, the sex was amazing. He lifted up looking at her sheepishly, "Do you mean that? You would try anything?"

She nodded, a little taken back by his question but she didn't want to seem prudish. "Yes."

He grinned, "I'm glad you said that because there is something you could do that I like. I usually wait until I'm with a woman for a while before I suggest it."

She looked at him peculiarly, "Okay, what it is?"

He sat up on his elbow, acting shy. "Well," he started and then paused, biting his bottom lip. "I like to be spanked."

Sarah felt her heart sink to her stomach. "What?" she barely got the word out.

"You heard me," he said with a straight face.

"I just…" she stumbled, "I don't know if I can…"

"Come on," he begged. "All I'm asking is that you go out to the yard, pull a stick off the tree and come back in here and punish me. Really punish me. You can even slap me a couple of times too if you want, but mostly spank me hard. I love it!" he growled.

Her mouth fell open, stunned over what he was saying. She had heard of stuff like this but the idea of doing it was appalling to her.

The look on her face was priceless. He couldn't hold it back anymore and started laughing.

It took her about three seconds to realize he was teasing her. "Oh my God! You are such an ass!"

He rolled over away from her, laughing out loud and grabbing the pillow to protect himself as she came at him. "You should have seen the look on your face!" he roared. She climbed on top of him, hitting the pillow that protected his body and face. "Yes" he yelled out, "just like that baby! Slap me again!" he laughed.

Sarah growled at him, "You totally freaked me out!" she laughed, but was beyond relived that he was only joking. "That's not funny." She rolled off of him on her back with her hands over her heart, "God, I thought you were serious."

He leaned over her, "I couldn't help myself." He kissed her, thanking her for being such a good sport. "But in all seriousness," he smiled. "There's nothing I would change about you, in bed or out. I think you're amazing." He kissed her again.

"Thank you," she replied, always feeling a little shy whenever he complimented her.

He rolled back over on his back, chuckling. "I'm just glad you didn't jump out of bed and run out back to the tree. That would have freaked me out."

They both cracked up over that.

* * *

Steve stood behind Sarah with his hands caressing up and down her bare thighs, his chin resting on her shoulder as he watched her cook grilled cheese sandwiches on the stove. She raised her arm to flip one and he slipped his hand inside his shirt that she was wearing, cupping one of her breasts.

She leaned back against him and went about her duty without so much as a flinch. She tilted her head to the side as if inviting him to partake of her neck, which he did without hesitation.

They both froze hearing the front door open and a familiar voice call out.

"Hello?" Danny yelled out. "Steve, you up?" He closed it behind him, heading for the kitchen, smelling the food.

Steve turned around while Sarah stood directly behind him, using his body as a shield, which hid her well.

"Hey," Steve said as he entered the kitchen.

Danny barely gave them a glance, heading straight for the fridge.

"What's up?" He put his hands behind him, holding Sarah in place, but could feel her body tremble from trying to hold back the laughter.

Danny took out a piece of pizza, examining it first before tossing it in the microwave. "I've been calling you like you owe me money. I heard what happened yesterday. Jesus man, trouble just follows you wherever you go, doesn't it?"

"I guess," he replied, tickling her side trying to make her laugh. He felt a gentle punch on his back.

Danny took out the pizza after only a few seconds, too impatient to wait. "I heard you were with some girl, didn't catch the name but must be the mysterious one you've been hiding." He finally looked over at him and clearly saw someone behind his back. "Oh shit! Sorry." He moved his body trying to see around him for the person hiding. "Hi. I'm Danny."

Sarah didn't answer but just laid her head against Steve's back as he laughed out loud.

"She's a shy one," Danny said, looking a little perturbed.

Sarah moved around just far enough so he could see her, but not all the way since all she was wearing was Steve's T-shirt and her panties. "Hi Danny."

He was about to take a bite of the pizza and froze. He looked back and forth between the two of them and then down at Sarah's attire. In his mind he tried to think of some scenario that would have her here, wearing only his T-shirt and hiding behind him, but knew there was only one. They were sleeping together.

They both stared at him, waiting for something when Sarah finally took the initiative. "I'm going to run upstairs and put some pants on."

"Turn around," Steve said to Danny, who didn't move. "Hey!" he twirled his hand, "Turn around."

Danny slowly turned, bracing both hands on the counter.

Sarah went to scramble away when Steve grabbed her by the hand. "Hey." Danny turned his head. "Not you." He motioned with his finger for him to turn back around. He then looked down at Sarah. "Cat's out of the bag now."

She looked over at Danny and then back at him, returning the smile, "Guess so."

He watched her scoot away and up the stairs, holding down the bottom of the shirt to cover her underwear. '_God she's hot_,' he thought to himself. He was still looking when Danny threw a towel at his chest. He looked over at his partners glare. "What?" he laughed.

Danny threw his hands up, "What do you mean, what?" He motioned back and forth from Steve to the stairs, whispering loudly, "How long has this been going on?"

Steve crossed his arms as if defending his ground. "Since the night Jacob died."

Danny shook his head at him, still harboring that look of distaste. "Do you know what you're doing? That's not just some girl up there." He pointed to the ceiling. "That's Sarah! That's our Sarah!" he said, still trying to keep his voice down.

"Yes, I know," Steve replied more calmly.

Danny pointed at him this time. "I swear to God Steve, and I'm speaking not as your friend but as one of Sarah's absent older brothers that if you hurt her. I'll kick your ass!" he paused, shrugging. "Ok, I'll get Chin and Kono and the three of us will kick your ass!"

Steve laughed over that. "I'm not going to do anything to hurt her Daniel. I would never hurt her. I love her." He went from one shocked look to another as Sarah stood on the bottom step of the stairs, staring at him over that remark. He didn't say anything but just smiled. What was there to say? It was the truth. He had come to the realization of what being in love meant, and it's what he felt when he was with Sarah. He had to be in love, there was no other explanation.

She came off the bottom step and over to him. "I love you too."

Steve draped his arm over her shoulder and smiled proudly over at Danny, motioning to Sarah with his head. "This is my girlfriend."

"Oh God," Danny moaned. "You guys aren't going to become one of those couples I hate are you?"

They both seized the moment to torment him as Sarah turned and put arms around his neck as well as a leg up by his waist and kissed him. He played along by leaning her back moaning loudly over it.

"I'm leaving." He put his hands up, blocking the view as he walked toward the front door.

"Danny!" Sarah called out as Steve stood her back up straight, laughing. "Come on, we're only kidding. Come back."

"I can't look at you two like this."

Sarah ran over to him, grabbing his arm. "Come on."

She stood in front of him, blocking his way and it was then that he saw it. There was something different about her. She looked like Sarah but it was as if she had this glow to her. Her face was slightly flushed, which he attributed to being out in the sun the day before, coming to the conclusion she was the woman who was with him, but her eyes, her eyes spoke of what she was feeling inside and with that he swore he'd never seen her look prettier or happier. He put a hand on her cheek, "I suppose I'm not your favorite anymore."

She smiled and hugged him. "You'll always be my favorite."

"Hey," Steve whined, "I've been working my ass off to take over that spot and you're saying he's still your favorite?"

Danny put his arm over her shoulder, imitating Steve's earlier move. "Keep working Buddy, maybe someday."

Sarah smiled over at him, glad that the sneaking around was over and also glad that it really seemed like nothing was going to change between the three of them.


	9. Chapter 9

Sarah woke up to an empty bed. She glanced out into the hall seeing the flickering light coming from the TV downstairs. She followed it halfway down and saw him sitting on the couch staring at the coffee table, completely oblivious to the TV. She smiled as she came down seeing Jacob's rock that had found a permanent home on the shelf by the couch with some family photos.

"Was I snoring?" she asked jokingly, taking the seat next to him as he held his arm out, welcoming her in.

"I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No. Is everything ok?"

"I couldn't sleep. Tomorrow is Akoni Leases' funeral," he announced sadly.

She thought that he had put that to rest, but the sound of his voice told her otherwise. "It's been over a week. Why has it taken so long?"

"Autopsy. The investigation. They finally released the body to the family just yesterday. The father is livid. He's threatening to sue the State and he also wants me fired."

"You let him skate on the charges of evading the police. He could be in jail and he's still angry," she huffed. "IAD cleared you anyway. You're back to work on Monday. It's over. He has no grounds to sue and the State has no grounds to fire you. He's just angry and hurt."

"I shot and killed his fourteen year old son. I don't think this is going to go away anytime soon."

"If he pursues it, then we'll deal with it when it comes, until then you can't keep harboring this guilt. You need to let it go."

"I can't just forget about it Sarah. I know you think just because it wasn't my fault that somehow it should make it justifiable, but it doesn't work that way. The fact still remains that I shot and killed a fourteen-year-old kid."

He was right, she needed to stop giving him the righteous lecture that what he did was justified and really listen to what he was saying, because it was finally sinking in that he would probably never get over this, but she had to help him learn to live with it. Just like on the beach when he saved that boy and gave the father the credit, he couldn't see it as saving Danny's life and reflect off that outcome, he saw it as a dead kid whose blood was on his hands. "I'm sorry. I understand now."

He looked over at her. "I want to go to the funeral tomorrow. I just have this feeling it will help. I want to pay my respects to him, but I can't show up there."

"No you can't," she replied adamantly. "That would be bad Steve. But what if you went afterward? When the family's gone? I'll go with you."

"You would?"

She took his hand. "Of course I will. I think you're right too. I think it will help with the closure. I'm so sorry Steve for trying to sway you into not feeling for that boy. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault Sarah. You were just trying to protect me. I would have done the same for you." He pulled her head over and kissed her on the temple, telling her it was okay. "I think it'll help going tomorrow."

She nodded, laying her head on his shoulder. "You just tell me what you need from me."

"This," he said, pulling her closer. "This is what I need from you."

She smiled over that. She knew him well enough to know that for him to say that was like opening up a door and inviting her in. It might have been a small gesture on his part, but to her it meant the world.

The past week could have been a walking nightmare if wasn't for her, he knew that without a doubt. Even now after waking up from the dream of being in the alley, the moment she walked down those stairs, her presence alone was calming.

* * *

The funeral had been in the late morning and Steve and Sarah stood before the gravesite in the late afternoon. It was a different place from where Jacob had been buried, reserved only for native Hawaiians and their families.

She looked up at him as he stared at the mound that was covered with flowers. The dirt was still fresh below the bouquets that had been used to cover the casket. His face showed the remorse that he felt. She thought maybe she should give him a minute by himself incase he wanted to say something.

"I'll wait over by the truck."

"No," he reached out, taking her arm. "Don't go. Stay here with me."

She was surprised over his tone; it was as if he were afraid to be left alone. She put her hand over top of his, gently reassuring him of her presence. "Okay."

The past couple of weeks had been wonderful in the fact that they had come into their own with this relationship. They both found that common ground they were searching for to make it work, yet on the other hand it had been tragedies that had helped them find that place, first with Jacob and now this. She was thankful that the boy in the water had survived. She felt Steve might have drowned with him, rather face another tragic situation.

He didn't speak but just stood there for the longest time staring at the mound of dirt. The only sound was the breeze that blew through the trees that were around them, rustling the leaves and disrupting the placement of the flowers on the grave. She gripped on to his arm, laying her head on his shoulder but didn't try to console him with words. He needed to get it out and if this helped then she would stand there until morning if she had too.

"I'm sorry," he finally spoke. "I'm so sorry." He wiped his hand over his mouth and then his face, turning his head in the opposite direction of her, wiping his eyes and letting out a deep breath. He saw someone approaching between the trees and his heart sank. "Oh God," he moaned, putting an arm over Sarah's chest, pushing her behind him as the Father of the dead boy approached the grave. The look on his face held so much hatred that Steve surveyed his hands, convinced he would pull a weapon on him.

"How dare you come here!" his tone expressed every bit of emotion that showed in his expression. "You murder my son and then you come here and disrespect me by spoiling his burial!"

"No sir," Steve said, "I meant no disrespect. I came here…"

"I don't give a damn why you came here!" he shouted, only steps away from them. "Get out!" he waved his arm frantically. "You murdering piece of trash!"

"Steve didn't murder your son," Sarah defended.

"Sarah!" Steve quickly shut her down. "Let's go." He moved her in front of him, so he was between she and the man.

He glared at Sarah as if she had loaded the gun for him. She wished she wouldn't have said what she did. "I'm sorry," she said over her shoulder.

"I hope you both rot in hell!" he shouted as they walked toward the truck.

Steve opened her door but kept an eye on Akoni's Father as he stood over his son's grave, staring at them, even from a distance he could see anger brewing from him. He got in the other side and took off immediately.

Sarah turned in her seat and looked out the back window at him. She looked over at Steve next as they turned the corner. He was shaking his head over his mistake of showing up there.

"That was stupid! Damn it!" he cursed, "I should have known better."

She reached over rubbing his arm. "I'm sorry I said that. I shouldn't have said anything. I just made it worse."

He glanced over at her, "It wouldn't have mattered what you said. I could have begged for forgiveness, it still would have been the same outcome. That was a mistake going there." He drove toward Sarah's house since it was the closest, not able to get the venomous way in which Malakina Leese had spoken to him. The man was beyond angry and the bitterness he felt over the loss of his son was undeniable. Steve couldn't help but feel that going there today had only added fuel to a fire that might have been smoldering. It was clear to him now that there was a burning hatred for him that he'd never experienced before, not even from captured enemies during battle. It left a bad feeling in his stomach that this wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

* * *

The TV showed images of Steve and then of Akoni Leese. Malakina Leese stood on the steps of the courthouse with his lawyer. The microphone in his face was from a news reporter who had been contacted by an anonymous source, but it was clear who the culprit was.

Steve watched the previous recorded interview from the TV in Five O headquarters with Danny, Chin and Kono standing next to him.

"This man shot and killed my son," Malakina Leese blasted out, "and then he hides behind the law for protection. He even had the nerve to show up at his funeral and try to defend his actions, because he knows he's guilty."

"You didn't show up at the funeral," Kono said angrily. "Six hours after. This guy is full of it."

"Shhh," Danny said, motioning with his hand to her to be quiet as the lawyer spoke up now. "We've just filed a wrongful death suit against Commander Steve McGarrett with the courts of Hawaii. If the criminal justice system will do nothing then it is up to us to get justice for this matter on our own."

"What are you hoping to gain from this lawsuit?" the reporter asked.

"Two million in punitive damages," the Lawyer responded.

Malakina Leese leaned over to the microphone, looking in the camera. "Or for him to come forward and confess what he did was wrong and resign from the position he holds of presumably protecting the people of Hawaii. It's a disgrace that the Governor is still standing behind this man." He started to go on another rant when Danny reached up and turned the TV off. He looked over at Steve who just stared at the blank screen.

"This isn't going to go anywhere," Chin said trying to relieve the tension that was all around them.

Steve looked over at him with a 'yeah right' expression. "This is just the beginning. If anything it's going to cost me thousands in legal fees just to prevent him from taking everything I own."

"The State will get you a lawyer," Kono said, looking around at them as if that were common knowledge.

"Not in civil court," Danny corrected her. "This is a personal lawsuit against Steve. The State won't do anything."  
Steve leaned back on the computer table, wiping his hands over his face. "I brought this on myself by going to the gravesite. That was stupid."

"You didn't bring this on," Danny quickly reminded him. "That father should know better, either his son was killed or he'd be spending the rest of his life in prison for murder." He put a hand on his chest. "My murder! I can't believe he's still blaming you. No wonder the kid did what he did," he spoke sarcastically. "He probably couldn't see past the barrel of the gun because he was never taught too. I blame the father as much as the kid."

Chin and Kono agreed with him but Steve quickly spoke up.

"All right, that's enough," he scolded them. "He paid the ultimate price for his actions and there's no reason for us to stand here and try to assume we know what was going through his mind at the time of the shooting. As far as the father goes…" he shook his head, not sure how to finish that sentence and decided not too. He pointed toward his office. "I've got work to do. I'm pretty sure we all do. So let's just get back to it."

They broke up and went to each of their offices.

* * *

Steve looked up from his computer seeing Danny at his door.

"Hey, there's someone here to see you."

Steve looked beyond him to the man standing in the middle of the commons area of the office. He didn't recognize him at first and then rose up from behind his desk, "I wonder what he wants."

"Who is it?"

"He's the Dad from at the beach a couple of weeks ago. The one whose kid fell in the water."

"Oh yeah," Danny replied looking back over at him and moving out of the way as Steve came out to greet him.

"Commander McGarrett," he said with his hand held out. "Do you remember me?"

"Of course," Steve said shaking his hand. "Please call me Steve. I didn't catch your name though."

"Michael Thornburg."

"Good to see you again. How's Chris?"

He smiled over him remembering his son's name. "He's doing well thanks to you."

Steve shrugged that off with a smile, turning to Danny. "This is my partner Danny Williams."

They shook hands.

"What can I do for you?" Steve asked.

"Actually I think it's what I may be able to do for you."

Steve shook his head, confused. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Let me explain. Last night the wife and I were packing, getting ready for our flight home today when we saw that report about you on the news."

Steve took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah well, it's an unfortunate situation."

"I would like to render my services to you."

"I beg your pardon?'

"Let me just say Steve, I may not be the greatest swimmer, but," he smiled cunningly, "I'm like Michael Phelps in the courtroom. I've never lost a case. I'd like to represent you in this, 'unfortunate situation'. I have a very lucrative law firm in Los Angeles and I took the liberty of contacting a friend of mine here on the island. I can work out of his office. I've already looked into the background of the lawyer who filed the suit as well as the man accusing you. The lawyer is nothing more than a local looking to get some free publicity and the father is angry and wants some justification, but he has nothing to base his lawsuit on. This is an open shut case. It'll take a couple of days to get the forms granting me permission to practice in Hawaii, but once that's done I can guarantee you this will go away quickly and quietly. If you would like my help."

"Well, I…," Steve stuttered still a little taken back. "Yes, that would be great. Thank you!"

Michael shook the hand once again that was extended out to him. "Excellent. I have some papers for you to sign then."

Steve motioned toward his office. "Let's go into my office. I can write you a check for the retainer."

Michael stopped, holding his hand up. "Oh no. This is Pro Bono."

"I can't let you do that," Steve argued, looking over at Danny who was staring at him like he was crazy for arguing.

"Well Steve, you have no choice if you want my services. Besides," he grinned, "if my wife found out that I took money from you," he whistled, "my divorce fees would cost a lot more than this case."

Steve laughed. "Wow, I don't know what to say."

He motioned toward his office. "How about, 'where do I sign?'"

"Where do I sign?" he smiled.

* * *

Sarah lay on her couch and re-read the page out of her book for a second time. Her eyes fluttered and she yawned, laying it down on her stomach thinking she would just rest her eyes for a couple of minutes. She'd been waiting up for him, not sure what time he was going to make it but didn't want to go to bed just yet. The lawsuit had been dropped that day and just like his lawyer had told him, it was quick and quiet. She couldn't have been happier for him. He didn't deserve it. She was thrilled that it was over now for good and they could get on with their lives. It had been wearing on him for days since he'd received the first summons, but the tension in his voice was gone when he called her earlier that day at work and told her the good news. They were going to go to dinner to celebrate but as his job would have it, he and Danny got a case.

She started to think about making him something for when he got there, but before she could contemplate what that would be she was asleep.

Steve came around the corner of her building and practically ran up the stairs. He missed her, even though he'd just seen her that morning at work. The last few days had played havoc on his head and he couldn't concentrate on her or anything other than that lawsuit. He came close to losing his house, his savings, everything, but it was over and now he could get back to focusing on what was really important, and that was Sarah.

He knocked once, quietly, not wanting to disturb Mrs. Kettles next door and not to wake Sarah if she had gone to bed. He used his key she'd given him a week before and slipped inside, closing it just as carefully. He turned to make his way to her room when he saw her lying on the couch. The smile that erupted on his face mirrored what he felt all over. He went to touch her on the shoulder and then stopped, sitting down on the coffee table instead and just looked at her.

He leaned over getting a glimpse at the book she was reading. He recognized the author but not the name of the book. He knew the author was a best seller who wrote detective thrillers, which made him chuckle that she liked to read those. He didn't know.

Her face was turned toward him and her hair was draped over the arm of the couch. She very seldom wore it up anymore, and never in a bun, which delighted him. She had beautiful hair, even when she let it dry naturally. Her long eyelashes fluttered and for just a second he thought she was going to wake up, but she didn't. The freckles on her nose and cheeks were lighter than unusual, telling him she hadn't been out enjoying the sun enough. He needed to render that. He'd never had the privilege to be able to just sit and look at her like this, wondering why he'd never noticed all her beauty that he was experiencing at the moment. She really was pretty. Her lips were the perfect shape and he felt a slight flutter, knowing how well she used them on his. She was a master. Her hands were small and he grinned over her nails that were not the typical norm for a woman. They weren't manicured and mostly just un-kept. He didn't care, too him it was just another display of her easygoing nature, which is what he loved most about her. She could keep up with him in the water, on the trails and in a conversation. She was the combination of everything he'd been looking for and he felt foolish knowing she'd been there the whole time.

He felt a peace overcome him like nothing he'd ever felt before and at the same time he couldn't get over how lucky he was. She would stand behind him through anything; he knew that without a doubt. She'd proved it over the years as his friend and more so over the last few weeks. She really was a gift and he loved her. It was time he shared some of those qualities with her. She deserved it and he didn't by any means want to do anything to jeopardize what they had going. It was the best thing he ever had.

He leaned over and carefully removed the book. He stood up and bent over slipping his arm under her neck and one under her knees, lifting her up easily.

She startled opening her eyes. "What?" she mumbled, seeing him smiling down at her.

"Relax, I got you."

She smiled then too, "Oh, hi."

"Sorry I'm so late."

"That's ok," she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek. "This was worth the wait."

He walked over to the front door and turned so she could lock it. He then went to the lamp by the couch and bent slightly so she could turn it off.

She giggled at his chivalry of carrying her. "You better hurry, you're going to break your back."

He stopped in the middle of the family room, looking at her. "I could stand here all night and hold you."

The words were more of a statement that she thought at first was his attempt to prove his strength to her, but it was the tone of his voice when he said it that told her his meaning was anything but arrogant. He proved it then when he kissed her.

Malakina Leese stood below Sarah's lanai looking up at them. He'd followed Steve from the station wanting to run him off the road but knowing any kind of altercation with him would only end up with him loosing again and probably going to jail. That wouldn't be any kind of validation for his son's death, and he wanted justification. He wanted it like he never wanted anything before in his entire life. The lawsuit against him was like a joke. He hired that fancy LA lawyer who chewed his lawyer to pieces in just a matter of hours. McGarrett acted as though he was above the law, above everyone else.

He was surprised when he pulled into this parking lot, especially that time of night, knowing where he lived. But now as he stood below looking up at them he knew why he was there. He recognized Sarah as the same loud mouth broad that had insulted him at the grave of his son. '_They were a match made in heaven_,' he thought bitterly. He watched him carry her around the apartment as if they didn't have a care in the world and the happiness on their faces only made him angrier knowing Steve had gotten away free and clear with murdering his son. And the woman, she wasn't any better. She must have been just as evil to allow a man like that into her bed and to defend him like she did. She had no morals. "She's no better than ha'ole trash," he whispered furiously.

Steve walked down the hall to Sarah's room and laid her down on the bed, sitting on the edge. "Will you do me a favor?"

"Anything," she smiled, gliding her hand up and down the side of his body.

"Go put on that little black dress."

She tilted her head looking at him oddly, "What?"

"The little black dress in your closet."

"How do you know I have a little black dress in my closet?"

"Because I saw you wearing it the first night we were going to go out and then for some odd reason you changed into the white pants before I got to the door."

She chuckled remembering that quick exchange of clothes. "I didn't know you saw me."

"Oh I saw you all right, and I want to see it again up close this time."

She stared at him, not sure how she felt about it. He basically wanted her to model for him. That thought alone was scary, being in that black dress was only making it worse.

He stood up and took her hand, pulling her up. "Go on," he encouraged her. "Go put it on." He took her spot and laid down placing his hand behind his head and kicking his shoes off the end.

Sarah slowly made her way to the walk-in closet, glancing over her shoulder at him as he watched her. She went in and closed the door just slightly and took off the shorts and T-shirt she had on, slipping the dress over her head and trying to maneuver the tight form to the angles of her body, wondering why she hadn't argued this with him more. It was too late now. She fluffed up her hair but still felt uncomfortable.

"Are you coming out, or do I have to come in there?" he shouted.

She came out of the closet, avoiding her reflection in the mirror that was adjacent. She walked toward him as he sat up on the edge of the bed and smiled.

"Stop," he commanded with her only a couple of steps away. He twirled his finger, "Turn."

She rolled her eyes and turned around, not too slow but not too quick either. "Happy now?"

He reached out for her hand, pulling her between his legs. He looked up at her as his hands caressed up and down her body, "You're beautiful Sarah."

She bit her bottom lip and turned her face shyly to the side, blushing. "Steve…" she went to argue.

"Beautiful," he assured her.

The way he looked at her told her more so than his words. "You're the only man that's ever said that too me before."

"Believe me they've said it, just maybe not to your face, but they've said it."

Just putting the idea into her head that people would see her that way was incredibly uplifting. She suddenly felt like Queen of the Prom. She'd never seen this romantic side of him before, not even aware that it existed, wondering if maybe he was saving it for her. She liked that thought, putting a hand on his face. "I love you."

He put his arms around her, resting his chin against her stomach, looking up at her. "I love you too." He let his hands slide down her body and then make their way back up under the dress. "Now take it off and get in bed with me."

* * *

Sarah leaned her head back under the water of the shower, rinsing her hair off. She opened her eyes and was startled for just a second as Steve stood on the opposite end with the curtain pulled back watching her.

"You scared me," she laughed.

"Sorry, just enjoying the view."

She blushed as his eyes roamed down her body and then back up again as the smile on his face turned painful. "Don't we have time for one more?"

She couldn't control the grin on her face over his attraction toward her. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to it. "No. I wish, but I can't be late again."

He sighed heavily, scanning her once more. "Can I have a kiss before I go?"

She agreed to that wholeheartedly, moving to his end of the shower, leaning in so he wouldn't get wet.

He tasted like orange juice and maple syrup, an odd but delightful combination, reminding her that she was hungry. She went to break away and he pulled her wet body up against him, not caring that she was getting him soaked. She was about to give in to his request when he broke away, kissing her just once more quickly as a low, regretful groan came from him. "I got to get out of here now or I'll be responsible for you loosing your job." He patted her wet behind. "I put your breakfast in the microwave to keep warm."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'll see you later." They kissed once more before he departed.

Sarah went back under the warm water, smiling brightly. It was the perfect morning. She had woken up in the arms of the perfect man, who had made love to her perfectly and then because he knew her so well, made her the perfect breakfast of pancakes and bacon. She couldn't possibly think of one thing that would make her happier at that moment. She felt perfect.

Steve stood staring at the four slashed tires on his truck. "Son of a bitch," he growled. He looked around the parking lot, but didn't really expect to the see the culprit standing anywhere near, just watching.

Sarah was standing in the kitchen, wearing her robe when she heard her front door being unlocked. She looked up with a mouthful of pancakes when Steve came back in and slammed the door. She smiled but it quickly disappeared seeing the annoyance on his face.

"Someone slashed all four of my tires!" he said angrily, sitting down on the couch with his cell phone in hand.

She swallowed the food as she came around the corner of the kitchen. "What? Seriously?"

"Seriously," he repeated her words putting the phone up to his ear.  
"Was anyone else's tires slashed?"

"Nope! Just mine," his tone was harsh but she knew it wasn't directed at her.

"Who would slash your tires?"

"I don't know." But he had an idea. He just hoped it wasn't that person.

She listened as he spoke with someone in the departments maintenance division, requesting a tow truck. Since his truck was used for work it would only cost him time and a huge annoyance.

"I have to get ready for work. Do you want a ride in?"

He cupped the phone, "No. Thanks though. I'll have Danny swing by and get me. I still need to go home and change."

"Ok," she shook her head just as annoyed, "Sorry about that."

He smiled at her, knowing that if the morning hadn't started out so great because of her then he'd be a lot more pissed off. He turned and watched her walk down the hall, staring at her legs in the short robe. His attention was diverted back to the call when the maintenance guy came back on.

* * *

Danny peeked his head inside Sarah's door cautiously. "I'm not interrupting anything am I," he teased, knowing she was already gone. He was still a little shell-shocked over this whole relationship they had going on.

Steve stood in the kitchen, passing the time waiting for him by cleaning up the breakfast mess. "You know she already left," he replied sarcastically, closing the dishwasher.

Danny laughed as he came toward him. "You're doing her dishes for her? Man, I have a whole new respect for Sarah. She knows how to whip a man into submission quick!"

Steve glared at him over that remark, but then smiled, knowing just how to shut him down and how to shut him up. "Believe me partner, if you could experience just half of what I have learned about Sarah's secret talents, you'd do her dishes, her laundry and follow her around like a puppy dog."

Danny groaned and turned away from him. "Stop!" he whined, "She's like my little sister!"

Steve came around toward him, picking up his phone and keys. "I swear sometimes I think I'm going to black out."

"Shut up!"

Danny stepped out the door first as Steve closed and locked it. "I didn't know she was so flexible either," he continued and then laughed as Danny covered his ears as he went down the steps, repeating the word 'no' over and over.

He followed behind him as they came upon his truck that was still there waiting to be towed back to headquarters.

Danny squatted down, examining the tires that were practically shredded. "Who do you think did it?" he asked, looking up at him over his shoulder, but he already knew they were thinking the same person.

Steve didn't have to answer him.

Danny stood back up as they both walked to his car. "He's going to try to make you pay one way or another isn't he?"  
"I don't know that it was him."

They stood on opposite sides of the car, "We need to find out though because what worries me is that he did it here. So that means he must have followed you."

"I know, I already thought about that. I don't like that it happened so close to Sarah."

Danny wasn't surprised by that comment, but he was a little surprised over the way in which it was delivered. It wasn't just a statement or thought that he was throwing out there, he could tell that idea was weighing heavy on him. "You don't think he'd do anything to Sarah do you?" feeling that same concern.

"No…" he started and then changed his mind, "I don't know. He was really pissed that day we showed up at the gravesite." He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I never should have brought her there."

"Stop kicking yourself for everything that's gone down over this. I'm sick of seeing it and I'm sick of hearing it!"

"Have you ever shot a kid before Danny?" he asked angrily, not able to understand why he couldn't see what he was going through.

"No!" he replied just as irritated. "And I've never been shot in the head by one either, thanks to you. Now knock it off! I can understand you feeling guilty over what happened. I can! I get it, but there is nothing left for you to do. Feel the grief for this kid but damn it, stop blaming yourself for the aftermath and giving this guy justification for what he's doing! I mean it, just quit!"

"All right!" Steve sighed, knowing he was right. "Settle down. I know I get a kick when that little vein in your neck starts pulsating but I think it's going to burst."

"I'm serious," Danny said, ignoring the sarcasm.

"I know," Steve said more passively. "I know." He looked back over at his truck, hoping that if it were Leese, that this would satisfy his anger.

Danny got in the car. "Well if you ask me, I think you should have Sarah stay at your place for a while just to be safe."

He got in the passenger seat. "I don't want to scare her."

He turned and looked at him suspiciously. "Or is it that you don't want her hanging out at your place all the time? Is that why you come here, so you can leave when you want?"

"What? Where the hell did that just come from?"

"Hey, I told you from the beginning that this whole thing worried me. She's a good friend of mine and you are my best friend and partner. If it doesn't work out I'm going to lose one of you and I don't want to have to break in a new partner and best friend all over again." He started the engine.

Steve laughed. "Relax Danny. Sarah and I are doing great. This isn't a fling for either of us. This is real man. I'm telling you, she's got me thinking about stuff I've never thought of before."

"Really? Like what?"

"I don't know just stuff."

"Like what?" he pushed.

"Stuff!"

"As in?"

"Kids! Marriage! Forever! Shit like that," he caved, knowing Danny would just nag until he gave him something.

"Geez," Danny chuckled, "I sure hope you don't propose to her someday using that setup."  
Steve growled at him. "God you're annoying!"

Danny reached over and pointed at his neck. "You got one of those veins too. I can check that off my list for the day."

Steve slapped his hand away, trying not to laugh. "You prick."

He laughed, "I know you're not just messing around with her. To tell you the truth, she looks different now too."

"She does?"

"Yeah," he confirmed, "she does. She looks happy. You can see it all over her. I mean she's always been a generally happy person, but she's got this glow to her now."

Steve smiled proudly over that. It was nice to hear it from someone else. It assured him that he was doing right by her. "Sometimes when I look at her I can't believe it's the same Sarah. I was so stupid before for not seeing it. She's so beautiful."

Danny looked over at him a little surprised over his tone. He always thought Sarah was cute and pretty, but he wouldn't have ever thought her physically beautiful, but then again she was also the perfect stereotype of person that the more you got to know her the more beautiful she became. It was obvious to him that Steve fell right into that category, which only impressed Danny more because he was the type of guy who could have had someone who was physically beautiful at first sight, and usually did, but it was clear to him now that he wasn't superficial in that way, he just wanted someone who he could relate too on all levels, and Sarah was the perfect girl for him.

They passed a tow truck with the letters HPD on the side.

"Your ride is here."

"Good," Steve said looking over his shoulder.

"I'm serious though," Danny said. "I don't like the idea of Sarah staying alone at her apartment. At least not until we know if your tires were some random act or from Leese."

"I agree," Steve said.

Danny glanced over at him; "You need to tell her why too. She should be aware of this."

"I know, I know. I'll talk to her." He liked the idea of being with her every night but didn't like the reason behind it. He wasn't sure they would even be able to prove it was Leese unless someone saw it, which was doubtful, or if they had security cameras on the apartment grounds, which he also doubted. It wasn't the type of place that had the police out there enough to justify the expense of twenty-four hour surveillance.

If it was Akoni's father, again, his only hope was that he got it out of his system over the tires and was done with it.

He hoped.


	10. Chapter 10

Sarah ran out of the water ahead of Steve, forcing her legs through the knee-deep surf. She was exhausted but determined to beat him. She could hear him behind her gaining ground as his voice explicitly told her he was gaining on her too. She let out a low growl and pushed harder until she was on the beach and then up on the grass in his yard, collapsing on her knees and then falling forward on her hands and stomach, gasping for air. She looked to her right as he laid on his back only a couple of seconds later.

"Damn Sarah! I don't know where," he panted, "you hide all that strength in that little body of yours."

She laughed and rolled over on her back. "I was very…" she breathed hard, "competitive with my brothers."

They both lay there letting their bodies calm when he finally looked over at her. "Ok, my loss. What do you want for dinner?"

Sarah rubbed her hands together victoriously, "Hmm, let me see. What am I hungry for?"

He sat up on his elbow, "Be nice! You know my limitations when it comes to cooking."

She laughed over that, knowing full well he had only a limited menu and even a couple of those items were sketchy. "You can make a good burger."

He knew she was letting him off the hook easy, so he decided to reward her for that. "How about if I take you out for a nice steak dinner instead?" He leaned over and kissed her. "Besides, I haven't been following up on my boyfriend rules lately. It's been a while since I've exercised the dinner one."

"I like that idea." She smiled at him as he stood up and held his hand down to her, pulling her up. She put her arms around his waist. "Did you let me win?"

"No! Have you forgotten how competitive I am too?"

She could always tell when he was lying. She learned that from playing poker with him so many times. She stood up on her toes and kissed him, knowing full well that he had let her win, but she didn't care. She loved him for it.

* * *

Sarah walked toward his truck, with her hand over her stomach. "Oh my god, why did I order the ten ounce and not settle with the seven?"

"Because you grew up with four older brothers and learned to eat like them too. I love a girl who eats when you take her out and doesn't squabble over a salad," he put his arm over her shoulder, "or the wimpy seven ounce."

She giggled, "I'm paying for it now."

He took her hand and kept walking past the truck. "Let's take a walk on the beach and work some of it off then."

She followed behind him smiling. It was the first time he had ever held her hand while walking. They got to the edge of the beach that was across the street from the restaurant and took their shoes off, hiding them in the bushes. The sun had already set but they could still make out just a hint of color over the horizon. The waves washed up calmly at their feet as they strolled along.

"I can't remember the last time I just walked on the beach for no reason," Steve said, squeezing her hand. "This is nice."

Sarah moved closer to him, gripping his arm with her free hand. "This gets you a lot of extra boyfriend points too you know."

"Really? And how do I cash those in exactly?"

She stepped in front of him. "What exactly would you like?" she asked sweetly.

He smiled devilishly at her. "You know what I want."

She blushed and giggled, "You're going to get sick of me."

"Sick of you?" he said shocked, shaking his head, "Oh no, that'll never happen." He put his arms around her, "You have no idea what you do to me Sarah. What you have done to me. That rule about not looking or talking to other girls," he smiled, "that's the easiest one of all. I'm not even sure other women exist anymore," he pulled her close up against him, "and I don't care. You're the only one I can see now."

"I'm…" she said almost breathless after what he had just said to her. "I'm in love with you. I always have been, so please don't say things like that to me unless you mean it. You'll only break my heart." She rested her forehead on his chest. She loved what he said but still wasn't convinced he was on the same level as she was. This relationship she had with him over the past couple of years changed her life. She fell in love with who he was in the beginning knowing him only as a friend, but now that the stakes were even higher, it was scary being with him sometimes, knowing it might all disappear at any moment, leaving her literally heartbroken

"Sarah," he said gently, wishing he could explain to her what he felt, but he just didn't know how. Expressing himself in that way was never one of his stronger points, but yet it was breaking his heart that she was still so unsure of his intentions. "Look at me," he said firmly; needing to step out of his comfort zone for her sake, hoping what he was about to say would ease that anxiety she felt. He had no time to plan it out so decided to just go with his gut and hope when he jumped off the cliff that he'd land softly, but when she finally looked up at him he smiled even though her expression was worried, because he knew inside that she really had nothing to fear, and neither did he. "I love you Sarah. Not because we were friends first or because we're sleeping together now. I fell in love with you because of who you are and the way that makes me feel as a man. I look at you sometimes and I can't believe my good fortune. I'm learning as I go what my responsibilities are in this relationship with you and it's not a chore, and not for one second have I regretted any of it. I love where this is going, and I'm glad that it's you I'm going there with. I'm scared too, because if I lost you, I think it would damage me for the rest of my life." He hoped that clarified it, searching her face for a clue.

Any doubt she had about his feelings was put to rest. She felt a welcoming calm float through her, which instantly reflected in her smile.

He saw it clear as if they were standing in the sunshine rather than the moonlight. That glow Danny had spoken of was illuminating off of her. He brushed his hand through her hair. "You know me Sarah. Don't second-guess that sixth sense you have with me. I rely on it and so should you. You know I love you, and you know that I'm in love with you." He smiled at her as if everything he was saying should have been common knowledge to her. "You know it."

She hugged him for those words, fighting back the tears. "I do."

He put his arm around her shoulder and started walking again. "Now I get the whole idea of strolls on the beach. This is like therapy."

"You and Danny should try this," she grinned, resting her head on his shoulder as they walked.

Steve laughed, "Too close to water, one of us would try and drown the other. That's why our therapy in the car is safer. Nowhere to run too and if you try and off the other by crashing, you're going to die too."

"You're crazy," she laughed and then shivered. "It's getting kind of chilly."

He slipped his outer shirt off, "Chilly," he scoffed, holding it open as she slipped her arm in and turned while he helped her put it on. "Every time it drops below eighty you get cold."

"I know," she laughed. The ritual they just performed had almost become a running joke. She couldn't count how many times she'd stolen his shirt or jacket since she'd known him because she was cold.

"I want boyfriend points for this good deed from now on."

"Ok." She put her arms around his neck and kissed him.

"That's more like it," he grinned.

They walked for a while longer and then made their way back to the restaurant. The moon hadn't yet appeared and it was even darker as they searched the bushes for their shoes.

Sarah slipped her sandals on and was standing on the sidewalk waiting as Steve sat in the sand and brushed his feet off before putting his socks and shoes back on.

"Do you want to stop for ice cream on the way home?" Sarah smiled at him.

He looked up at her laughing, "Are you serious? A half hour ago you were dying because you were so full, now you want ice cream?"

"I always have room for ice cream."

He shook his head, "Whatever you want."

She stepped off the curb. "You know what I want," she smiled seductively, paraphrasing his words.

He looked up at her tone of voice, "Sarah! You naughty girl." He smiled at her still wearing his shirt. He didn't know what it was about that, but seeing her in it was a turn on. He heard a car in the distance as he got up, looking down the dark street that was void of streetlights, not actually seeing it but he didn't think anything of it either. He looked back at her as she laughed, turning her body so her back was to the street.

Sarah heard the tires screech, but before she could react she heard Steve yell her name and then felt her body being thrown through the air, landing hard on her side in the middle of the street. She saw the car speed off down the road with no lights on. It was then that she felt his arms around her.

"Are you ok?!" he said, leaning over her with a panicked expression.

She was still dazed trying to comprehend what had just happened.

"Sarah?" he repeated even more concerned over her not answering.

"Yes! Yes," she answered, gripping on to his arm, feeling the blood on his elbow. She pulled it away quickly and looked at her hand. "You're bleeding!"

He stood up and bent over, helping her to her feet, ignoring her statement as he looked down the street where the car had disappeared and then behind him for anymore danger.

"They didn't even stop! What was that?" she asked trying to get a look at his arm as he quickly led her over to his truck, all the while scanning the area. "Steve!"

He didn't reply as the lights on his truck flashed, unlocking it. He opened the passenger door and shuffled her in, wanting her in a safe spot.

"Ouch." She shifted on the seat and realized then that she had a scrape on her knee through the tear in her pants

"Let me see," he said after leaning over her and taking his gun from the counsel between the seats.

"It's fine," she assured him, becoming alarmed over his demeanor. "Who was that?" she asked again, her voice shaken.

He closed her door and went around the other side, eyeing the parking lot with the gun at his side.

Sarah followed his movement becoming more and more concerned by his actions. He got in the driver's seat and started the engine. "Stop! What's going on? Who was that?"

"I didn't see who it was but I have a good idea and if I'm right he should have quit with the tire slashing." His voice radiated his anger. "This little stunt throws any mercy I have for him out the window. I'll fucking bury him next to his kid if he wants to play this game."

Sarah stared at him, knowing he was talking about the boy's father. She realized then what had happened to her wasn't an accident. That car had intentionally tried to run her over. She startled in her seat as his cell phone went off.

He pulled it out of his pocket and reached over with his other hand, assuring her she was safe by gently caressing her leg. "Hello," he answered in the same rough tone of voice.

"Mr. McGarrett this is Townsend Security Company, could I please have your Code to verify your identification?"

"Gracie," he said, wondering what the hell was up now.

"Thank you. Are you at home Sir?"

"No."

"I'm calling to inform you there was a violation in the system at your residence which has caused the alarm to go off. The police have been notified and are in route."

"What area of the house?" Steve asked, gritting his teeth.

"The front window is what I'm getting on my computer?"

Sarah could scarcely hear the caller on the other end, but knew it had something to do with his house. His eyes narrowed and she could see the intensity in his face, wondering if the call had something to do with what had just happened to them.

"Ok, I'm about five minutes away," he informed them.

"I'll inform the police you are on your way home. We'll send a representative out there first thing in the morning to assess the damage and reset any lines that need fixing. If you need any further assistance you can reach us twenty-four hours a day by the number on your home keypad. We'll send for a complete report of the incident from the Police Department. If there is nothing else I can assist you with Sir, then you have a safe evening."

"Thank you." He hung up and slammed the phone down on the dash. "Goddamnit! Someone broke into my house!"

"What is going on?" Sarah practically yelled, her heart racing as tears of fear stung her eyes.

He looked over and saw the alarm all over her face. He leaned over and hugged her. "It's ok, Sarah. Don't be scared."

She clung to his shirt and trembled.

"Nothings going to happen to you, I promise. They weren't aiming at you. I think it was because you had my shirt on and it was dark."

She looked down just then and saw the blood on his arm, suddenly realizing that he had probably saved her life earlier in the street. It reminded her of the day on the boat when he had told her that he couldn't watch something bad happen to her without giving it everything he had to protect her. He had proved that by throwing himself in the path of that car to save her. She slowly pulled away from him. She didn't thank him because she knew that's not what he would have wanted to hear. He didn't do it for the acknowledgment; instead she put a hand on his face. "I'm not scared. I trust you."

He smiled at her and kissed her, thanking her for that. He sat back in his seat and put the car in reverse, heading home.

* * *

They drove up his driveway seeing the two patrol cars. The three officers were standing out front but Steve was a little surprised the lights in the house were off. He could however clearly see the broken front window.

As they got out the officers met them halfway.

"Hey Steve," one of them spoke up and then glanced at Sarah, a little surprised to see her with him. "Sarah," he acknowledged her.

"Hey Jack," Steve replied. "So what's going on here?" The greeting was informal as he followed them up the path from the driveway toward his house.

"We got a call from your security company about a breach in the system but when we got here all we found was this broken window. We looked around but couldn't find any signs of forced entry. We knew you were on your way so we decided to just wait for you. I don't think anyone's been inside. You can see the rock on the floor in your living room."

Steve unlocked the front door and stopped before going in, turning to Sarah. "Wait out here until I know it's safe, all right?"

She nodded, hanging back with one of the officers.

Steve went in with the other two, turning the lights on and scanning the downstairs.

"Does anything look out of place," Jack asked him.

"Nope." He went in the kitchen first and then upstairs as the other two followed behind him. "It looks like they just broke the window." He looked around his room and checked the lanai doors, making sure they were still locked.

"Do you have something to cover the broken window with?" The other officer asked him.

"Yeah, I've got something in the garage."

They helped him cover the window with a piece of plywood.

"Do you have any idea who might have done this?" Jack asked him.

"Yes, but I'll take care of it." He looked at the three of them, thanking them, which was their cue to leave.

Jack motioned to his bloody elbow, "You should clean that up." He knew there was more to the story but also knew Steve and his team were capable of handling whatever it was. "If you need any help with anything, let me know."

"Thanks Jack."

Sarah stood by the front door as he came back in from walking them out.

"Come on, I'll take you home," he said to her.

"Don't stay here tonight," she said fearfully. "Come stay with me."

"I planned on it, because I'm not letting you out of my sight after what happened."

She tried to not look so worried but did a poor job of hiding it. She leaned into him as his arms went around her. "I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. Danny and I'll take a ride over and see Malakina Leese tomorrow morning and get this thing settled. I'd love to go tonight and drag his ass out of bed, but I don't want to leave you alone until you're safe at work tomorrow. Besides, he's a native. He's lived here his whole life. He's not going anywhere."

"Why didn't you tell Jack and the others what happened at the restaurant?"

"Because I'm going to take care of this on my own." He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "That was the biggest mistake he ever made getting that close to you, and he's going to pay dearly for it."

"Are you sure it was even him?"

Steve nodded, "It was him. I'm sure of it. I also know it was him that slashed my tires. We got prints off the side of the truck. Danny wanted to confront him then." He sighed, wishing now he had listened to him. "I figured Leese needed to feel that justification that he never got, and I guess I thought he would end it there, but this tonight." He looked at her regretfully. "This is beyond anything I thought he was capable of. I'm sorry Sarah to put you in the middle of this."

"You didn't put me in the middle of anything. He did." She put her arms back around him.

* * *

Sarah's eyes flew open and she shivered, but not because the temperature had fallen below eighty, but because the dream had been so vivid. She felt his arm pull her in closer against his body and his calming voice in her ear.

"It was just a dream."

She rolled over so she was facing him, snuggling closer. He welcomed her with open arms. The dream became a distant memory as her heart fluttered over his security.

"I love you." Her voice wasn't frightened, but sincere.

He didn't have to see that stellar expression he loved so much, he heard it. Having her this close and her choice of words only stirred his desire for her. He rolled her over on her back and looked down at her, feeling confident she was seeing the same thing from him. He touched her lips with his fingertips, gently gliding them over the softness as he made his way down her chin, over her throat and then touching her breasts over her shirt all the while keeping eye contact with her, enjoying the smoldering look that only encouraged him. He didn't say a word, but reached down and lifted her shirt over her head, wanting to really feel her. She laid back after helping him, her hair falling all over the pillow. He moaned softly at the sight of her; it was exactly the place he had been trying to get back too.

She would never question his love for her again, she wouldn't have too; it was shinning down all over her. His hands moved over her slowly as if he were taking in every detail of the body he had fallen in love with. He understood now that passionate bond that had always seemed like folklore to him, something that existed on paper or in sappy love songs, but here he was experiencing his own love story that was nothing short of spectacular, swearing to himself that it was one of a kind, no one had ever felt like this before; also knowing this was it, she was the one. He couldn't imagine being in this place with another woman, ever. It was impossible to him. She was warm and safe, letting him be who he was and knowing that he never had to make excuses because she loved him in spite of all his flaws and loved him even more because of some of them. He wanted to stand in the middle of a crowded room and shout out that he was in love with Sarah Hickey.

She slid her hand over his arm and moved her leg, positioning him into that sweet spot. She could feel his heart racing and how badly he wanted her pressed between her thighs, even through the sweats he had on. She pulled down on them, freeing him, shuffling them down the rest of the way with her feet until he was naked on top of her. Her hands caressing his back, his arms, his neck, down and then back up again, their eyes locked on each other. It was the most romantic moment of her life.

He wasn't even inside her yet, but he could already feel that connection with her. The power she had over him, all that time he wasted. He could have had this. He moved down her body kissing her throat her bare breasts his hand touching places that made her shiver and moan, stroking his back as he made his way lower and lower until she thought she might die from the pleasure. He held her firmly around the thighs so she couldn't move as his tongue playing with her, teasing her. It was beyond anything she'd ever experienced sexually. He had talents in bed she knew, but she considered him a human prodigy for what he was giving to her at that second.

She gripped the sheets with both fists, arching her back as he tightened the grip forcing her to lie still as her body naturally fought against it. It hit her with so much force she cried out over and over, pleading with a higher power.

He finally released the tight grip and made his way up, kissing her belly, feeling her hands stroking his body as if thanking him for that. He rose above her making eye contact once again as he plunged inside her with one swift move, repeating it over and over as she welcomed him. He slid an arm under her neck and lifted her up to his lips, all the while never once breaking stride. It was going to happen soon and he could tell already it was going to be explosive. She felt too good for it not to be. He laid her back on the bed still holding her around the shoulder staring at her as she spoke to him with her eyes, telling him how good it felt.

"I love you," he whispered to her, never knowing the power of those three little words until that very second.

She kissed him for that as tears fell from the corners of her eyes, drinking him in and feeling that love as he held her tighter.

"You feel so good," he shuttered, moving to her neck, tasting the salt from her tears. He couldn't have loved her more than he did at that moment. It swept over him, heightening his senses as he rose up needing to see her. She was like an angel looking up at him. Her face flushed but her eyes acutely aware of what was happening between them and almost as if she were reading his mind giving him what he was searching for.

She felt his body tense and his expression became weak as he succumbed the powerful force that gripped ahold of him, ripping through him like nothing he'd felt before. She held him tighter, knowing if it was anything like he'd just given her a few minutes before then he must be in ecstasy at that second. She smiled over that doing anything she could do heighten the moment for him, hearing her name as if he were begging her for mercy.

He collapsed on top of her completely drained of any strength, whimpering softly as the after shocks continued to torment him in the most pleasurable way. He couldn't move, he couldn't think straight. She was like a drug and he was addicted from that second on. She gave him what no one else ever had, sanctuary.

* * *

Sarah heard him in the kitchen the next morning as she came down the hallway. She was already showered but still in her robe after quietly getting up without waking him, knowing he wouldn't go home until she was ready, not wanting to leave the house without her. She wanted to get a jump on getting ready first and let him sleep a little longer.

She came around the corner as he held the carton of orange juice up to his lips with his head tilted back, eyes closed, drinking it down as if he had just come from the desert. She smiled at the display as he finally pulled it away taking a deep breath.

He saw her and smiled. "Sorry. You drained me last night of all my juices." He shook the empty carton, "I needed a refill."

She went up to him as he held his free arm open to her. "You do what you have to do to get replenished. I'll keep a steady supply just for you."

He kissed her, setting the carton down on the counter. "I think I caught it just before the expiration date. It tasted a little bitter."

"Could be," she agreed, "I haven't gone shopping in a while."

He kissed her again, moving his hand over her backside, "I'm going to jump in the shower. I want to get to work and then over to Leese's. I want this settled today."

She nodded in agreement with him. "Are you hungry?"

"No, just get ready so we can go. I don't want to leave you here alone."

She was right on the money with that thought; glad she was already halfway there. "Ok."

He kissed her once more and started to walk off when he stopped and turned back around, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her forcefully up against him. "By the way, good morning and I love you," he smiled.

She felt her body tingle. "I love you too."

He swatted her butt, "Good, now hurry up."

She giggled and went for the cupboard, taking out some muffins and poured herself a cup of coffee that she had brewed before getting in the shower. She popped a couple of muffins in the microwave and smiled at the empty carton of OJ on the counter, making a mental note to get some more. She picked it up and looked at the expiration date, seeing that it wasn't for another week. She smelled the inside but didn't notice anything weird about it. Her attention was distracted by a soft knock on her apartment door.

Steve leaned forward bracing his hand on the shower wall, letting the warm water flow down his back. He looked up into the sprayer and filled his mouth with water, rinsing out the dryness and then spitting it out at his feet. He felt a little light headed, grinning over the sensation, attributing it to the night before. It lasted longer than a normal head rush and he put his hand on the sidewall this time, putting his face back up in the spray, hoping to shake it off but it didn't work. His legs began to tingle and he reached over shutting the water off, still using the sidewall as a crutch. "Shit," he mumbled, feeling the sensation that he was going to pass out.

Sarah looked through the peephole and opened the door to Mrs. Kettles.

"Good morning," she said to the older woman.

"Good morning Honey. I was just coming back from my walk and wanted to know if they fixed that electrical problem you were having. I know we share the same wall and I'm sure some of the same outlets and if you're having issues, then I'm sure I will too."

Sarah looked at her oddly, "What electrical issues?"

Mrs. Kettles looked at her in the same way. "There was an electrician in your apartment yesterday afternoon. He said he was called out by the complex to look at some problems you were having in your unit."

Steve wrapped a towel around his waist and came out of the bathroom and into the bedroom reaching for the wall as a brace. He could feel his chest tighten, trying desperately to catch his breath, not sure what was happening to him. He pushed off the wall going for the bed when he felt his legs give way. He fell on the floor and rolled over on his back putting a hand over his chest, gasping for air, feeling like he was suffocating.

Sarah heard the fall and turned toward the hallway. "Steve?"

He tried to call for her, but couldn't get enough air to even breathe let alone speak.

Mrs. Kettles followed her as she went down the hall. She came within view and screamed over the sight of him convulsing and gasping for air. "Steve!" She fell to her knees next to him as he reached out grasping her arm. "What's wrong?!"

He shook his head and closed his eyes, concentrating on getting air into his lungs. He felt a hand on his forehead, holding his head down and opened his eyes back up to Sarah leaning over him. Her expression was firm as well as the tone of her voice.

"Look at me! Breathe slow and deep, slow and deep!" She had no idea what was happening to him but needed to try to stay calm for his sake, because she could see the alarm all over him as he tried to inhale unsuccessfully.

He looked beyond her to Mrs. Kettles who was reaching for Sarah's phone by her bed.

"I ca…I can't!" he whispered, "Sarah!" he pleaded with her for help.

She took his hand and held it firmly. "It's ok, it's going to be ok. Just breathe sloooow," she drawn out the word trying to calm the panic that had overcome him.

He looked in her eyes and did as he was told, finding comfort in her presence and the tone of her voice

"Help is coming," she reassured him, stroking her hand over his forehead trying to hide the terror and panic that was sweeping through her, not understanding what was happening to him. To her relief he calmed as she breathed in slow and deep with him as if showing him how to do it.

"My legs…" he started and then worked up another breath before finishing, "can't…feel my legs. What's…happening?"

She could see the panic begin to emerge once again and tried to divert it. "Don't be afraid, Steve." She leaned over and kissed his forehead, fighting back the tears that were beginning to emerge. "Please, just breathe and help…help is coming," she stammered not sure she could hold it together for much longer. If he died right there she felt she might follow him.

He could hear the fear in her voice and squeezed her hand, getting his breathing under control again to the point where he didn't have the sensation of suffocating anymore. It was as if whatever was happening to him came in waves over different parts of his body. The tingling in his legs had turned to complete numbness and he could feel it beginning to reach his fingers now. The grip on his hand felt tight, but that was her hand squeezing, not his. The fright in her eyes was dramatic; no matter how hard she tried to hide it. '_You're fine_,' he told himself, using his combatant training as a way to calm the anxiety. '_You're scaring her. Everything is fine. Just relax and breathe. Relax and breathe_,' he repeated over and over, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself he was fine, he knew he was teetering on something disastrous. He also knew it had to do with the juice, looking up at Sarah just then, glad it was he who drank it, and not her. '_I love you,_' he murmured just before his whole body succumbed to the drug.

He couldn't move, he couldn't talk; yet he could hear Sarah as she screamed his name over and over but he wasn't able to open his eyes and see her. He wasn't even sure he was breathing anymore. The only way he knew he was still alive was the pounding of his heart that sounded like a drum inside his head.

_**Author Note: I'm going to be out of the country for a week with no internet, so I'm sorry I'm leaving you with this cliffhanger, but I won't be able to post again probably until the week of June 23**__**rd**__**. Sorry! Aloha!**_


	11. Chapter 11

"Look at me!"

Steve heard a stranger's voice through the haze but couldn't make his eyes focus on the person talking to him.

"Steve," she said more gently, "look at me."

He knew that voice. It was Sarah. He blinked trying to see her but again his eyes wouldn't focus on the blurred image leaning over him. He wanted to reach up and touch her, but couldn't move. He wanted to tell her he was awake but couldn't speak. All he could do was just lie there and listen to the commotion that was happening around him. He knew he was in the hospital and hooked up to a machine that was helping him breathe; feeling the air effortlessly fill his lungs. It must have been the doctor talking to him before Sarah. He could feel his heart begin to race, praying that whatever was happening to him wasn't permanent, because he'd rather be dead.

"He's awake," the doctor said, motioning to the heart monitor above the bed. He slid the needle out of Steve's arm and capped off the end, handing it to a nurse. "I want samples of his blood sent to the lab every hour. And tell them I want the results from that last one now!" He leaned over Steve's bed once again. "Steve, my name is Doctor Baylor. You were brought in after suffering a seizure. If you can move any part of your body, do it now."

He heard him loud and clear but couldn't feel anything. It was even an effort to blink his eyes that were barely open. He did it twice though hoping they could see it.

"Ok," Dr. Baylor said in an encouraging voice. "I see you're blinking. That's good enough. You just try to relax. We're doing everything we can to find a treatment to ward off the drug that's affecting your paralysis. " He looked over at Sarah. "I'm going to go light a fire under someone about those lab results. I'll be back."

"Steve," Sarah said, running her hand over his forehead. "It's ok. They're going to help you. Everything's going to be just fine." She barely got the last words out before her voice broke and she started to cry.

'_Don't cry Sarah,_' he thought hating to hear that sound for two reasons, one; just the thought of her in that state made him sad, and two, worrying that his condition was what he had feared. He heard another familiar voice enter the room.

"Sarah," Danny said, putting a hand on her shoulder, looking down at the tubes coming out of Steve's mouth and arm, also seeing that his eyes were partially open but had no actual sign of life in them. "Is he awake? What's wrong with him? What the hell is going on?" His voice getting louder with each question, demanding answers and getting equally concerned from the state Steve was in as well as Sarah's distraught expression.

"They don't know for sure yet," she cried. "But we do know he was poisoned."

"What?!" That reply was the last one he would have expected. "How?!"

"Someone was in my apartment yesterday," Sarah began to explain. "My neighbor saw him coming out. He said he was an electrician." She reached out, taking Steve's hand. "This morning Steve drank some orange juice from the fridge. He said it tasted funny but we didn't think anything of it and then about ten minutes later he collapsed and couldn't breathe. He can't move Danny," she started to cry again. "He can't even breathe on his own. It was the juice. I know it was." Fresh tears streamed down her face. "It was supposed to be for me." The crying turned to sobs as she covered her face.

He put his arms around her and hugged her, shocked over what he was being told. "It's ok, sweetheart. He'll be all right." He tried to console her at the same time that he tried rationalize what was happening.

Steve lay there and listened to the whole thing, unable to communicate with them but knowing already it had to do with the juice. He also knew it was Leese; it had to be. It was frightening to be so fully alert and yet at the same time completely paralyzed. Even though what he was going through was traumatic and fearful, he was still glad that it was he who was lying there and not Sarah. The sound of her sobbing and blaming herself was heart wrenching. '_Pull it together baby_,' he thought. '_Tell Danny about the restaurant_.'

"Who was the man in your apartment?" Danny asked, going into detective mode.

She pulled away from him and wiped her face off with her fingers. "I don't know. The police were questioning Mrs. Kettles when I left."

"Mrs. Kettle's? Is she the old lady that lives across from you?"

"Yes," she grabbed his arm, "but there's more Danny." She began to tell him what happened the night before at Steve's house and the beach, how someone had tried to hit her with a car and that she was wearing Steve's shirt and they both thought it was aiming for him not her. "Steve thinks it was the boy's father; the one that he had shot. I don't know who Mrs. Kettle's saw coming out of my apartment, but I'm starting to think that maybe whoever it was wanted both of us hurt. He's the only person I can think of who would be that angry at me." She continued to explain to Danny how she had defended Steve at the gravesite and the furious way in which Leese had stared her down. "He was so angry that day. Steve said he's the one that slashed his tires too."

Danny nodded, "He is. That's why he wanted you to stay at his place. He wanted to keep you close incase that wasn't the end of it." He looked down at him. "Why didn't he call me last night when the car incident happened, not to mention the break in?"

"He was going to talk to you about it today." Her expression saddened. "He didn't want to leave me alone so he waited until morning. If he hadn't been looking out for me then he probably wouldn't have even been there this morning and none of this would have happened."

Danny turned to her. "Then you would have drunk the juice and you'd be lying on the floor in your apartment right now. Believe me Sarah, Steve would rather be lying in that bed right now than have you be in it."

She hadn't thought of that but knew it was true, however, if she could trade places with him she would do it in a heartbeat. She took his hand and leaned over, kissing his forehead. "I love you."

'_I love you too_.' He felt a peaceful calm overcome him, convinced it was from Sarah and not from the drug that was making his life hell at the moment. She was good medicine.

She glanced up at the heart monitor and saw his heartbeat slow to a normal rhythm. She leaned back down to him. "Just rest, Steve. You're in good hands."

'_Don't leave me here alone Sarah_," he silently begged. '_I need you here with me_.' He could feel his life force weakening. It was by far the most frightening experience of his life. '_I'm scared Sarah_.' He professed as he filled with dread, feeling like a prisoner trapped in this body that he had mastered and cultivated into what now just felt like a shell. Too admit to himself that he was frightened was almost worst than the ordeal itself.

* * *

Sarah sat next to his bed holding his hand. It had been almost twenty-four hours and they were no closer to finding a treatment or antidote than they were when they first brought him in. Their biggest fear was that his organs would begin to shut down next and after that it would be life support, which only meant sure death.

The doctor had consulted with just about every colleague in the hospital before branching out and sending lab results to hospitals on the mainland including the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia. He was becoming desperate in his quest to heal this patient that he could only watch as he disintegrated before his eyes.

Danny, Chin and Kono were scouting the island for Leese but had yet to locate him, becoming more and more convinced that his sudden disappearance was the evidence they needed that he was the one behind the poisoning. They needed to find him before it was too late. He held the secret to what was slowly killing Steve.

His relatives were of no help, claiming he went off the deep end after Akoni's death, refusing to listen to their reasoning and warning him to let it go; some going as far as siding with Steve over the shooting. Danny had learned that over the last few years Leese and Akoni had distanced themselves from the family after arguments of some illegal activity that involved animals, but no one could actually reveal what that activity was, but Danny knew it had something to do with the day of the shooting. They had gone to question Leese after his name had popped up in the computer database on a case they were working on that involved a murder down at the harbor. The death turned out to be a dispute over a girl, but Danny couldn't help but wonder why Leese had decided to run that day when they showed up. What was he hiding? That's the mystery they were trying to solve, convinced that if they could resolve that, then it might shed some light on what was happening with Steve, but to their dismay, they just kept hitting one road block after another. No closer to finding a solution than they were twenty-four hours earlier. They had every resource possible working the case, including Max who had taken samples of Steve's blood and was working on finding the antidote himself as well as others who had come forward to offer their help. If Leese was still on the island, then he had to have had a plan, because he had to know they wouldn't stop until he was caught and if Steve died, then Danny swore to himself that he would go as far as burning that island down just to smoke him out.

Sarah startled out of her weariness as the phone next to Steve's bed rang. She reached over and answered it, hoping it was Danny with good news.

"Hello."

"Tick tock, tick tock. The clock is running down. How sad you must be for the child killer. Do you see now what happens to the guilty when they refuse to admit responsibility for their actions?"

Sarah felt the blood drain from her face, recognizing the voice on the other end that was cold and sinister as if she were in a horror movie. "What did you give him?!" she asked, but it was more of a demand.

"It's funny you should ask because it was really meant for you. I was sure it would be him asking that question. But either way, I'm pleased with the outcome."

"This is murder plain and simple. If you let him die then you are exactly what you are accusing him of."

"Don't you dare," he shouted, "put me in the same category as a child killer!"

"You said it was for me," she argued, "I have done nothing to you, yet you still would have no remorse if I would have drunk the juice. You're logic makes no sense. You're just angry over the death of your son and you're trying to justify your revenge, which is actually murder! It's murder!"

"That's right, feel the anger," his voice becoming calm again, "feed off that emotion that can give you stamina, because you're going to need it."

She knew at that second that Malakai Leese had absolutely no remorse for what he had done, on the contrary he almost sounded pleased. "Are you going to just let him die? You're a coward!" She began to cry out of anger and fear.

"Whether he lives or dies it entirely up to you."

"What?" she felt he was playing with her.

"His life is now in your hands," he replied with a touch of evil in his voice. "That is if you can follow instructions and have the endurance. I have the cure that is ailing your child killer. If you want it, then you have to earn it."

Sarah felt a chill run down her spine, knowing that whatever he had in mind was going to be shocking for her and thrilling for him. She looked over at Steve through her tears as he lay motionless, almost lifeless. She knew that without a doubt if it were she lying there that he would walk to the end of the world and leap off for her. She felt that same loyalty. He had been her friend first, but now that bond had grown to something that was unbreakable. He was her future that she had been dreaming of. He loved her in a way that she didn't even know was attainable, but he did. She felt something inside of her begin to stir, gaining momentum over the idea that this spineless monster would try to come between what she held most dear in the world. The anger over this man's arrogance that he could even assume that he was stronger than what she and Steve had built made her blood boil. If Steve would go to the edge of the world and leap off for her, then so would she, only she planned on taking Malakai Leese with her.

"You think you have the upper hand, don't you," Sarah's voice turned demonic, feeling as if the devil himself were channeling through her, feeling absolutely nothing for the human being on the other end. "I'll play your game. I'll play to the end and then we'll just see who's standing when it's over. You're going to wish it was me who drank that juice."

* * *

"No Sarah!" Danny raised his voice, getting angrier with her as their argument escalated. "That's crazy and you know it!"

"I'm going!" she fired back "He said just me. We have no choice! Steve's getting worse and they have no idea what the drug is! This is our only chance!"

"We'll send Kono," he argued.

"No! He knows me. He'll know it's not me in the first two seconds."

Danny grabbed her by the arm, gritting his teeth through his frustration. "I'm not sending you on some wild chase around this island being led by that crazy fuck! Do you hear me?!"

Her reaction calmed, knowing he was just scared for her but she also knew that this really was their only hope and he did as well, he was just fighting it.

"Danny, Steve's going to die if I don't do this. Leese had this planned out the whole time and you know it. He waited until the last hour to contact us, knowing we'd be desperate. He doesn't care which one of us drank that juice, this is working out just the way he planned it. I'm not going to let it end with him winning. I heard his voice. He has nothing to lose anymore. He doesn't care if he's caught or if he dies, he just wants one of us to go with him. It's not going to be Steve." She slid his hand off her arm. "We can't just sit here and do nothing. You know that. I'm going."

He did know it, and yes he was fighting it. He looked beyond her to the bed also knowing that Steve would never have allowed it, not in a million years, but Steve wasn't in charge now and Danny also knew that if the roles were changed and his life was hanging in the balance that Steve would take whatever chances he had to in order to save his life. It scared him to death over what Sarah was proposing, but she was right, it was their only chance to bring Leese out in the open and Steve's only chance of survival.

"Ok," he said uneasily, "we'll do it your way."

"_No Danny!"_ Steve shouted over and over, but unfortunately he was the only one that could hear his pleads.

"I'll be careful Danny."

"I know you will, because you're going to be wearing a wire and I'm going to be right behind you and the second Leese shows his face he's mine."

"He'll know if you're there, we can't risk it," Sarah argued.

"Then you're not going! This isn't some hide-and-seek game Sarah. He wants to hurt you. Don't you get that? It's bad enough I'm agreeing to it, but there is no way in hell I'm sending you out there alone."

She hadn't let the magnitude of what she was doing set in until his adamancy at that moment. She had been too preoccupied over the anger of the situation to fully realize that she was in danger of getting hurt, or even worse. But even as it settled over her, she didn't feel the fear she thought she should have. She really had nothing to lose, because at that moment she couldn't envision a life without Steve, it would have been too painful to live, so she really had no choice.

"I can't lose him Danny," she confessed as tears welled in her eyes. "I can't."

He felt for the friend in Sarah, seeing the magnitude of those words in her eyes. "I know." He put his arms around her again. "I know." He assured her that he understood her love for Steve that had escalated to a place that only came once in a lifetime, if you were lucky. "I know sweetheart. We'll get him through this."

"_Please don't go Sarah_," Steve pleaded, feeling the same way she did, only the fear over what she was proposing shot through him at a rate far exceeding the foreign drug. He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life. His heart rate soared but the turmoil in the room let it go unnoticed at the moment. He fought with everything he had to move, but this paralysis was just too extreme. The machine helping him breathe took his voice, not that he could have spoken his disapproval anyway. He forced his eyes open, seeing them through the haze that was clearer than before. "_Its getting better Sarah_," he thought. _"You don't have to do this. Please baby look at me_." But she had her head on Danny's shoulder as he comforted her. "_You know I don't want this Danny_." He willed his thoughts to his partner. "_Don't let her do this! Don't put her in danger for me. I love her too much." _He'd rather lie in that bed for a hundred years than risk anything happening to her on his account. He struggled to move, wanting to reach out and shake the both of them.

His heart rate soured as he became overcome by the familiar sensation that had first attacked him while he was lying on the floor in Sarah's room. The onset of another seizure was fast approaching. He knew it had violently taken control of his body before his mind went blank. Sarah's scream had assured him of that.


	12. Chapter 12

Sarah held still as Danny and Kono wired her up to a microphone in her ear and a GPS locater attached to the back of her jeans. She stared down at Steve as he lay sedated after the last seizure. The nurses had rushed in after Danny had run to the hall yelling for help. She cringed, recalling trying to hold his body still as he convulsed. It was even more frightening than the last one and more severe. He was getting worse.

She had to succeed in helping Danny, Chin and Kono get Leese out in the open so they could catch him and get a sample of the drug he'd given Steve. Time was running out, but what she was about to do wasn't a sure thing by any means. Leese could just be playing her, teasing her, and he could very well have no intention of leading her anywhere except on a wild chase around the island just for the fun of it while Steve laid in that bed. Even so, she felt she had no choice but to go. Leaving him was hard, but staying and watching him go through another seizure was even more difficult when the cure was out there somewhere, hiding in the form a cruel man who obviously had nothing to lose.

The door to the room opened and the doctor came in, followed by a nurse and Max from the coroner's office.

Sarah reached her hand out to Max as he gently grasped it. "Please tell me you've found something Max?"

"Not an antidote," he replied in that quick to the point dialogue he had, mixed with a hint of frustration, "but I might have located the origin of the drug to a South American plant that is used by some of the remote tribes in the Rain Forest. They use it to paralyze larger prey with dart guns during a hunt."

The doctor took over from there. "We sent a vial of Steve's blood to a hospital in California. We just don't have the resources here on the islands to run the tests that are necessary for this type of procedure.

"There must be something you can give him," Danny argued. "This is 2014 for Christ's sake, we're not in the stone ages. There has to be some drug out there that can fix this."

Max nodded, understanding his frustration and anger; this was his best friend they were speaking of, not just some random case. "Yes that would seem logical but under the circumstances, some drugs are so obscure that they don't warrant testing because the weight of the slight possibility of an antidote being needed just doesn't justify the cost of researching it. This is what we are dealing with now."

"So there is no antidote is what you're telling us?" Danny questioned.

"Not technically," the doctor replied.

"But there are medications combined together that can work just as well, if we can get our hands on the actual drug," Max explained, "then we can prescribe the correct ones that Steve needs."

Sarah looked at Danny and asked the same question they both were thinking. "But you said you knew where the plant came from, if you do then you should know the drug."

"No," Max corrected her. "I said I know the origin, there are at least seven known species of that plant. All with their own degrees of toxins. If we give Steve the wrong one, it could be fatal. It has to match what is in his system."

Danny sat down in the chair next to the bed. "Shit," he mumbled, "So if Leese doesn't have the actual drug on him, then we're screwed."

"How would he even come across it?" Sarah asked, completely baffled. "I don't understand. Where did he get it from to begin with?"

Danny looked up at them. "The docks. Leese was working at the shipyard. That's how we came in contact with him to begin with. His name popped up on a printout of employees working that night. Steve and I both thought it was odd that he took off running that day his kid was shot. He's involved in something that's involved with that drug, I know it."

Max voiced up his opinion. "Maybe they are transporting animals illegally into the country. They would need something to keep them immobile for the long trip up from South America and then through Hawaii until they got to the mainland. In small doses that might work."

"That's a good theory Max, but that's all it is," Danny said. "We need to find Leese."

"It's a good start," Kono jumped in. "Chin and I were at the shipyard this morning looking around but we didn't really know what we were looking for, hoping something would jump out at us. I'm going to head back down there, now that I have an idea of what to look for."

"If you don't mind Detective," Max volunteered. "I'd like to accompany you. I think I might be of some assistance." He looked over at Steve, "I admire Commander McGarrett very much and I'd like to help out all I can."

"Let's go," Kono motioned. She went up to Steve's bed, touching his arm. "Don't worry boss, we've got your back covered." She then turned to Sarah. "Keep your head, don't let Leese lead you someplace that Danny can't get to. If that little voice in your head says stop, then stop."

Sarah nodded, listening and taking her advice. "I will."

"Chin will have eyes on you too. He's back at the station, uploading current maps of the island that are off the grid."

"I feel safe knowing he and Danny will be close."

Kono pointed at her as they opened the door to leave the room. "Keep it that way."

* * *

Sarah watched his chest rise and fall as the machine pumped air into his lungs. The room was quiet except for a quick snort once in a while from Danny as he nodded off every now and then in a chair in the corner. They were waiting for the call from Leese. It was almost midnight and she hadn't slept a wink since the day before.

She was tired too, wanting to crawl up on the bed next to Steve and lie her head on his shoulder like she had become accustom too. Her mind began to drift to the night they walked on the beach when the phone rang, startling her.

Danny was out of the chair and alert in seconds as if he had been jolted by a shot of electricity. "Remember what we talked about," He reminded her of the strategy.

"Ok," she nodded, recalling his three rules. Keep him talking, make him be specific and don't make him mad.

"Good," He pointed at the ringing phone. "Answer it."

She picked it up, "Yes," she said into the receiver.

"How's lover boy? Have the seizures begun yet?" Leese chuckled sinisterly, finding humor in that.

"I hope you realize what you are doing," Sarah said. "If you just turn yourself in, you still might be able to help yourself. Don't make it any worse than it already is."

"It's going to get worse all right, just not for me."

"It doesn't have to be this way."

"Shut up! I know what you're doing and it's not going to work. Now listen carefully because I will only tell you once and if you get it wrong, then lover boy is a dead man."

"Ok," Sarah said agreeably, trying to stay on his good side.

"Go to the Zoo. Across from the entrance to the main gate there is a bench under a banyan tree. Under the bench you'll find a ringing cell phone. You have thirteen minutes. Better hurry, it goes to voice mail after six rings, but there won't be a message."

"But that's far from here. I can't possibly," she went to argue but heard the line click. She looked at Danny as he threw down the earpiece that was hooked into the phone so he could listen in.

"Let's go, let's go!" he rushed, tearing through the door.

She caught one last glimpse of Steve in the bed as she followed Danny out the door. "I love you," she said, hoping it wasn't the last time she saw him.

* * *

Danny came to a screeching halt in front of the Zoo as Sarah jumped out of the car, running across the lawn toward the bench under the tree. She could see it from the lights coming from the hotels across the way but the area was deserted. As she neared she could hear the phone ringing, not sure how many she had missed. She slid down to her knees in the grass before it and laid down seeing it strapped to the wood panel below. She pulled it free and flipped the old fashioned receiver up, putting it to her ear. "Hello! I'm here, I'm here!" she said out of breath. "Are you there?"

She heard silence, looking over her shoulder toward Danny in panic as he hung back; frightened they had missed the call.

"Diamond Head Road," the voice relayed the next location. "Makalei Beach Park. Find the picnic table. No car. Get rid of the driver. You have thirteen minutes."

She heard the click and looked down at her watch, knowing the park and also knowing it was a good mile, maybe mile and a half away. She could run an eight-minute mile on a good straight out track, but this had an incline up Diamond Head Road. She glanced over at Danny and didn't wait to explain. She jumped up and took off running.

"Sarah!" he yelled out and started to go after her but she was already around the curve of the Zoo building and in a full sprint. He ran back to the car and jumped in, reaching for the radio. He backed up, whipping the car around and throwing it in drive. "Sarah," he said into the handheld walkie-talkie that had a direct line to the earpiece she was wearing. "I heard Diamond Head Road. Where are you going next?"

She ran across Mansarrat Ave, approaching a different park on the other side that led up to Diamond Head Road, knowing it was the shortest route. "Stay back," she said, hoping he could hear her and the running hadn't jolted the wire. She couldn't stop and check, she had to keep going. She couldn't let Steve down.

Danny drove up Kalakaua Ave, trying to get a visual of her in the park, knowing she had to go that way, but it was too dark. "I'll meet you where Kalakaua and Diamond Head meet. What's your final destination?"

"Stay away," she panted, "He said to get rid of the driver. Go away Danny."

"Sarah!" he yelled. "Goddamnit! I told you not to pull this shit! Where are you?" He slowed down and tried again to get a visual of her. "Sarah!" he growled, "we have to be in this together."

"I got a lock on her location," Chin said into his mic. "She's dead center Kapiolani Park headed toward Diamond Head Road."

Danny sped ahead and waited on the edge of the park for her to appear.

Sarah ignored the chatter between Danny and Chin and kept up the pace, knowing her time was running low. She approached a group of picnic tables when she suddenly felt a sharp blow in her gut, stopping her in her tracks. She went to her knees, grasping her stomach feeling the wind get knocked out of her.

Leese came up behind her and hit her again in the back, knocking her down on the ground.

She got to her hands and knees, feeling disoriented and tried to crawl away but he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back. "Going somewhere?"

She shrieked from the violent way in which he held her, knowing then she should have listened to Danny. She had done exactly what he and Kono had warned her against. The blade against her throat was cold, as well as the voice that spoke in her ear, "I was wrong. I wish it were him here instead of you. But he loves you, the same as I loved my son. He was all I had."

Sarah felt light-headed from the fear that was shooting through her. She scanned the park for Danny of Chin, cursing herself for letting this happen. "Please, please don't hurt me. I'm…" she shuttered, feeling the knife dig a little deeper, wondering if at any second it would slice her open. "I'm sorry for you, I am. But is this really what your son would want from you?" She gasped as he tightened his grip on her hair.

"I do this for my son."

Sarah's eyes filled with tears, knowing he was going to kill her in order to complete his revenge against Steve. She didn't think about death in the traditional way that she thought she would. The first thing that came to her mind was Steve and the job she had set out to do. She couldn't be helped at the moment scanning the area again only to find herself utterly alone with this madman. Her only regret now that she might never see Steve again. She hoped that she still had communication with Danny and Chin and that her last request would be granted. If she had to die at least she might be able to save him before. "What did you give him?" she cried. "Tell me what you gave him."

"A death sentence," he whispered to her.

She heard a commotion and a sharp pain below her chin, believing he had done it. She fell forward, instinctively clasping her hand over her throat expecting to feel a rush of blood and an agonizing struggle to breathe, but to her astonishment she felt neither. The voices she heard were Danny next to her and Chin through her earpiece. The commotion had been a single gunshot. He had cut her under the chin as he fell to his death.

"Sarah!" Danny yelled, dropping down next to her in a state of panic, thinking the worse had happened and he had been too late. "Sarah!" He practically screamed, rolling her over on her back to get a look at the devastation. Her eyes were wide with shock and fear as he pulled her hand away, only exposing the small cut.

"Da…Danny," she mumbled through the haze that was still the majority of her thinking, seeing him and slowly coming to the realization that she wasn't hurt.

He didn't think he'd ever felt so relieved in his entire life. He bent over her and scooped her up in his arms hugging her. "Oh my god," he said emotionally. "I thought he cut you. I thought he cut you." He held her tightly letting the moment settle in him before he let go. She was not only his friend but like a little sister. He felt the need to protect her just as much as Steve did, but only in a different way. He sat her up as he let go, getting a look at the wound. "Are you ok?" He used the sleeve of his shirt to pat the wound under her chin.

"Yes," she cried, leaning into him.

"Oh God sweetheart," he mumbled, hugging her again. "You scared the hell out of me."

She suddenly pulled away from him. "Where is he? He needs to tell us. He didn't tell me what he gave Steve." She shifted her body and saw Leese lying there, visibly dead. "No!" she cried out, crawling over to him and shaking him. "What did you give him?!" she yelled, tears filling her eyes as the panic set in. She began to search his pockets for the mysterious drug, finding nothing.

"Sarah," Danny tried to get her attention but it was as if she were in a trance. He grabbed her by the arm, forcing her to look at him and let go the frantic combing of Leese's body. "Stop! Look at me!"

"He has to tell us!"

"He's dead!"

Her attention went to him. "Why'd you do it?!" she said angrily. "Why did you shoot him? He didn't tell me what he gave Steve! How are we going to find out now?! How?!"

Danny shook his head, staring at her in amazement. "He was going to kill you Sarah. I had no choice."

"Yes you did! You didn't have to shoot him." She was overcome by the fear of going back to the hospital, knowing she'd failed him.

He grabbed her by both arms, getting her attention. "I shot him to save your life. It was the right thing to do and if Steve was here, he would have done the same thing."

"He's going to die because of me," she cried frantically. "It's all my fault. I didn't listen to you," tears streamed down her face. "I didn't listen and now he's going to die."

"Stop it!" he said sternly, shaking her. "You did nothing wrong. Leese had this whole thing planned out. You did everything you could Sarah." He put his hand on her face. "Steve would be so proud of you."

She fell into him again, sobbing.

He saw the flashlights in the distance making their way to them, knowing it was Chin with their backup. He felt relieved that Sarah was safe, but he couldn't express to her the equaled dread he did over knowing he had killed their only lead and also knowing very well he might have killed Steve in the process, but his only recourse was that he was assured that in Steve's eyes, he had done the right thing.

* * *

Sarah walked down the hall toward Steve's room, stopping before the entrance. "I can't," she whimpered to Danny. "I can't go in, not yet." She leaned back against the wall bracing her hands on her knees. "I need a couple of minutes first." She had been mentally trying to prepare herself for the last three hours after leaving the park and going back to the station before returning to the hospital. Danny had taken her straight to the ER to have the wound under her chin looked at closer and then they both took the silent and dreaded ride up the elevator to the sixth floor where Steve was.

"Its ok," he assured her, rubbing her back. "Do you want me stay out here with you?"

She shook her head, just wanting to be alone for a minute with her thoughts. She heard him go inside and stood up, running her hands through her hair. She felt sick to her stomach and bent over again trying to find some relief. The tears came back again as she used the collar of her shirt to wipe her face off. She had to prepare herself for what might come. The pain from that was excruciating. She had already decided that if it did happen she couldn't stay on the island anymore. It would be too hard. Memories of him would be everywhere. She'd move back home to the mainland to be close to her family. She thought of her parents and brothers, wishing they were there with her now. She'd never felt so lonely and afraid.

"Sarah," Danny said to her.

She shook her head telling him she needed more time.

"Sarah come here," he said, standing before her. She was unwavering and he knew what she must be feeling so he took the initiative and put an arm around her waist raising her up and forcing her to go with him.

"Danny please," she hesitated, "I just need a little more time."

"No you don't," he said, tightening the grip around her and practically pulling her to the door.

She thought the worst. He was forcing her because that horrible, gut-wrenching nightmare had arrived. She felt her throat close up and her head swirl, hoping she wouldn't faint when he reached for the door and pushed it open.

Steve was sitting up on the edge of the bed smiling at her. "I heard you had quite the night," he said. "I think I owe you a nice dinner."

Sarah's face succumbed to the relief that flowed through her from not only seeing him sitting up, but the sound of his voice that filled her with so much happiness she thought she might faint again, only this time from pure jubilation.

She stumbled toward him, unable to hold back her tears of joy as he slid off the edge of the bed and held his arms out as she fell into him.

He recalled being in the bed and wanting this so bad it hurt. He held her just as tightly, ignoring the painful after effects of the drug on his muscles. He didn't care, right now he needed this, and to his delightful pleasure she did too. He couldn't help but feel elated over her reaction when she saw him. She loved him. He saw it all over face and it was beautiful.

Neither one noticed the others as they slipped quietly out of the room, leaving them alone. Danny grinned at them as he closed the door.

Steve stroked her hair as she laid her head on his shoulder. "I should be mad as hell for what you pulled tonight, but I can't be." He smiled, kissing her forehead, "I love you too much for what you pulled."

She leaned back looking at him as he wiped her face with the back of his hand. "I thought you were going to die. I don't know how you came to be standing here right now," she kissed him, "but I love you too and I would do it all over again if I had too."

Her selfless act to protect him was overwhelming. He always thought of himself as the one who took care of her, but in this instance she had come to his aid without a hint of regret or care over her own safety, his was first. His eyes roamed her face, seeing her so clearly. "You're some kind of woman Sarah. Unlike anyone I've ever known."

She smiled, blushing slightly over his words. "You do crazy things when you fall madly in love."

He chuckled and nodded, agreeing with her analogy. He hugged her again and then moaned slightly. "I want nothing more than to stand her and hug you all night, but I need to lie down."

She helped him scoot back on the bed as he lay back with his head on the pillow, still holding his hand tightly.

"Did the drug just wear off?" she asked of his miraculous recovery.

"No. It was Max. He and Kono, along with some DEA officers tore the area apart I guess where Leese used to work and came across a shipment that was miss-marked, and the guy working crumbled, spilled his guts. It was something about a veterinary organization on the mainland that was using it instead of anesthesia on animals. It was cheaper or something I guess. They think Leese was getting kick backs for putting a stamp of approval when the shipments came through." He squeezed her hand smiling, "Max worked up the combo of drugs with my doctor. I woke up about half an hour ago. I feel stiff and tired and a little light-headed. My throat hurts from the breathing tube, but other than that it just feels like a bad hangover. They want to keep me here for a couple of days just to be sure I don't have any lingering effects."

"I can't believe it worked so quickly. You were in bad shape. The last time I saw you…" she began and then stopped, not wanting to relive the fear of seeing him go through the seizure. "Let's just say this is much better. Much, much better."

He looked at the clock on the wall that read three forty-five and then back at the weariness in her eyes that was apparent even though a smile was plastered on her face. He scooted over in the bed. "Lie down with me."

She was going to argue that idea because of where they were, but quickly snuffed it out, recalling how earlier she wished she could crawl up on the bed with him and put her head on his shoulder, now she actually could, and she didn't care at the moment where they were only that he was able to request this invitation. She wasn't about to turn it down.

He moved the IV tube in his hand to the side as she slid in next to him. They faced each other feeling content. His hand stroking her back, knowing what she had attempted that night but not knowing the full details just yet of her ordeal and not wanting to question it. Right now he just wanted to enjoy this moment, and was, tremendously. "Close your eyes," he said to her.

The gentle motion of his hand was soothing. She couldn't have been happier at the moment, succumbing to the peacefulness that was just being with him again in this place. She was asleep within minutes.

* * *

Sarah came out the backdoor with a plate filled with an oversized turkey sandwich, a pile of chips and a glass of iced tea in her other hand. She took the chair next to Steve, handing him the plate.

"You don't have to cater to me Sarah. I'm feeling better."

"Just be quiet and eat," she ordered, setting the plate down on his lap.

"Thank you." He leaned over, wanting a kiss, which she reciprocated with a smile.

"You're welcome." She lay back in the chair, looking out over the water from his backyard. They had released him from the hospital that morning after being satisfied of his condition, but telling him to still take it easy for a couple more days.

He devoured the sandwich, not realizing just how hungry he was until the first bite. He set the empty plate down on the side of the chair and stretched out. "It's kind of nice knowing I don't have to be anywhere or have anything to do."

She glanced over at him. "Feeling content are you?"

"Very."

"After what you went through, I'm glad you're taking the time to just relax."

He looked over at her as she focused on the view in front of her. He saw her in a different way now. The loyalty she had displayed for him that night was amazing but after hearing what had actually happened from Danny and then the tapes from Chin of the conversation between she and Leese in those final moments blew him away. She had a knife to her throat but still had the determination to seek out his remedy before she might die. It was chilling and surreal to hear it and know that it was Sarah. He had yet to talk to her about it, not wanting to bring up such a morbid conversation when they were both just enjoying the outcome at the moment.

He reached over and flipped the back of her chair so it laid out flat, catching her by surprise. At the same time he rolled off of his and onto hers.

She let out a shriek and then laughed, realizing what he was up to.

He laid out flat on top of her, resting on his elbows and moving one of her legs apart with his knee. "Hi," he said seductively, smiling down at her.

"You are feeling better," she giggled, wrapping her arms and leg around him.

He didn't answer but kissed her instead, moving his hips intimately close to her.

She joined in, missing this time with him; missing this closeness and knowing all too well how quickly life could change. She wanted him right then, not caring if a parade walked by the beach. She wanted him.

Their lips were locked as if this opportunity were the last they might have. The kiss deepened as well as the emotions that took over, turning this lazy afternoon into a sexy free for all. They tore into each other, gaining momentum from the other until he finally broke free.

"Inside," he said breathless, "we should go inside." He barely got the words out before he was back to business of devouring her lips.

She pulled down on him as he pressed into her, feeling she might explode from just the idea of being with him, knowing it probably wasn't going to happen in the middle of his backyard in the middle of the afternoon in full view of a public beach. She decided not to torture herself anymore and pushed back on his chest. "Inside," she panted.

He rose up and pulled her out of the chair and into his arms, kissing her again as he made his way to the house. Once inside the kitchen, he used his foot to kick the backdoor closed and set her up on the table in the middle of the room, pushing the items off on to the floor that she had used to make his lunch.

Sarah laid back and lifted her hips as he pulled down on her shorts, freeing her of the clothing obstacles.

He crawled up on the table between her legs, smiling brightly. "This is a good ole' fashioned solid wood table, let's hope it holds out."

She laughed, pulling him toward her with one hand and doing the same to his shorts that he'd done to hers.

* * *

"Oh my God Sarah," he groaned and shuttered, still holding tightly to the edge of the table with one hand and the other wrapped around her waist. He laid his head on her shoulder, mixing his sweat with hers. "You never cease," he paused, catching his breath, "to amaze me."

She whimpered softly and panted with him unable to move from being completely exhausted from their encounter. It was by far the best yet. She looked to her left, and started to giggle, realizing they had actually moved the table almost up against the counter.

He lifted his head, "What?"

"Either the earth moved while we were making love or we moved the earth."

He looked up and smiled at the position they were in now. He grinned back down at her. "Well at least the table held out."

"You weren't supposed to over exert yourself today."

He kissed her. "I think we'll just call this physical therapy."

She stroked his back as he laid back down on her. "I don't think I'll ever be able to sit at this table again and not think of this."

His hand moved slowly up and down the side of her body. He couldn't have been happier at the moment. Their life seemed to be falling right back into place. He was pretty sure she was feeling the same thing, hoping anyway, because she deserved it. He wanted her to be happy and know that he was there for her in every way that she had been for him. She had proven that she would offer the ultimate sacrifice for him. It was surreal to know that someone loved him that much. He rose above her, looking down at the woman who had stolen his heart.

Sarah smiled up at him as he looked at her, gliding her hands down his chest. She waited for him to say something but words never came, only that stellar expression that told her in words what he was thinking. She felt it all the way down to her toes, rising up on her elbow to be closer to him. "I love you too," she whispered.

He kissed her, lying her back down on the table. His emotions were off the chart, never before sensing this freedom that he did with her. It was a high that he never wanted to come down from.

* * *

Sarah sat at her work desk bored; staring at a report she had to finish but had no desire. She looked at the clock in the corner of her computer and groaned. The day was dragging on. She glanced up the stairs toward Steve's office, but knew he wasn't there. He and Danny had left early, working a particularly difficult case. It had been what she considered a category eight, in her ratings amongst his time away. It had been almost two days since they'd been able to really see each other and even then it was quick because the lab results had come in and they had to go back to work. She understood, but she still missed him.

She wondered if she would get a few minutes tonight when an email alert popped up on her screen. A smile instantly spread across her face seeing the owner of it. She maneuvered her mouse over the area and opened it up.

'_Hey Sexy, Danny and I almost have this case cleaned up. I want to take you out tonight. No sushi or noodle joint. Five star. Pick you up at seven. I miss you. We need to talk about a couple of things. Important things. I'll see you at seven. Steve'_

She sat back in her chair, re-reading the email, happy to be seeing him but wondering what it was he needed to talk to her about.

Carol dropped a folder on her desk, commenting on the expression on her face. "You ok?"

She glanced up at her, "What?"

"You look a little bewildered. Do you have some work you need help with?"

"Oh no, thanks though," Sarah smiled. "It's just an email from Steve. Sometimes I have to decipher what he's trying to say, it's like a code. Once a Seal always a Seal," she chuckled, turning the computer so her friend could read it.

Carol scanned over the message and then looked down at her with wide eyes. "Sarah," she said as if surprised she hadn't caught on.

"What?"

Carol squatted down next to her. "How long have you two been seeing each other now?"

"A little over seven months."

She pointed at the screen. "I think he's going to propose to you tonight."

Sarah narrowed her eyes almost laughing. "No he's not! He just wants to have dinner. This case has taken a lot of his time and we haven't been able to see each other as often. That's all."

"I miss you," she quoted him. "We need to talk about a couple of things. Important things!" she emphasized the last two words. "That sounds like he's preparing you without actually saying it."

"Carol…" she went to argue and then re-read the message, wondering if she were right. "It's just…he's never really talked about that. You know. I know he loves me. He tells me, but marriage?"

"Don't tell me you don't want it," she huffed, "Because I know for a fact that you would marry him in a second. You were always in love with him even when you were trying to convince me you weren't. I always knew."

"Of course I would," she blushed slightly. She read the email for a fourth time, considering Carol's theory. She couldn't help but become excited over the possibility. It was true; she would marry him in a second. He hadn't ever commented on marriage but had mentioned to her a couple of times on different occasions that commitment in a relationship was very important to him and he certainly had lived up to that. She never questioned his loyalty or his love for her. She felt the excitement growing over the possibility. "Maybe," she said, glancing up at Carol. "Oh my god, do you really think that's what he's saying?"

She shrugged with a smile. "I don't now, but it looks an awful lot like a proposal to me."

Sarah sat back in her chair, staring at the screen as Carol patted her shoulder and walked away. She let the word 'marriage' sink in but then shook her head. '_Ok, let's not get ahead of ourselves here,' _she thought._ "Carol's getting you all worked up and it may only be that he wants to talk to me about leaving my stuff at his place. Maybe he's just buttering me up with a nice dinner and in the end it will be because he needs to tell me something not so good._' She wondered then if maybe she had been leaving too many items at his house, but then she smiled, recalling him clearing a spot in the bathroom for her things and finding some of her clothes in his dresser mixed in with his that he'd put away. The marriage idea returned and she couldn't deny the excitement over the prospect of him asking, wondering then how he would do it. Would he get down on one knee, or maybe be in his Navy uniform? She'd seen YouTube videos of that happening. '_Stop it!_' she scolded herself again. '_If it happens it happens. If it doesn't then that's ok too.'_

She wouldn't let herself get caught up in the turmoil of that scenario, but even before that thought had a chance to settle in she had already decided that the little black dress he loved so much would be the perfect outfit for the evening. She wanted to look her best, just incase. She glanced at her ring finger and couldn't help but think how wonderful her life would be with his ring sitting on it.

She tried to focus back on her report, but knew the day was going to drag on even more in anticipation of that dinner.


	13. Chapter 13

Steve came up the stairs to Sarah's apartment and entered without knocking. A custom they both had become acquainted with at each other's homes, feeling as if it were their own.

"Sarah?" he called out, making his way down the hall. He stopped in his tracks and smiled brightly as she came out of her room. "Wow!" he said, moving toward her. "Wait, let me emphasize that. Wow! You look amazing." He ran his hand down over her hip, admiring the little black dress and high-heeled shoes that put her almost at his height.

She reached up with both hands and smoothed down the lapel of his jacket, "Me! Look at you. I don't need a five-star restaurant. I have a five-star man right in front of me."

He took her hands in his and kissed them. "I look like a bum next to you." He kissed her then. "Are you ready?"

"Yes. Where are we going?"  
"To the Modern."

Sarah's expression was a cross between surprise and a little concerned. "That's a nice place. It's also very expensive."

Steve shrugged it off. "So," he held her hand and turned, guiding her toward the front room. "What's a couple of hundred bucks? You're worth a million."

She smiled and couldn't help but scan his jacket, wondering if maybe he did have a ring tucked away in one of those pockets. The suit, the sweet talk, the nice restaurant, the email, it was all beginning to look a lot like an early Christmas to her.

* * *

The view from their table overlooked the harbor in Waikiki. Steve reached over his empty plate and took the bottle of wine, filling up Sarah's glass with the rest of it.

"Trying to get me drunk?" she grinned, setting her napkin on her finished dinner plate.

He leaned in whispering to her. "I was hoping maybe a little alcohol might get me a good night kiss or maybe even breakfast in the morning."

She picked up her wine glass and tapped it against his. "Can't hurt a man for trying, but let me tell you a little secret," she leaned in to him this time. "I'm a sure thing."

He liked the way that was delivered and told her so by giving her a kiss. "Yes you are," he sighed.

She scanned his jacket for the hundredth time that night as well as his hand movements. She was beginning to drive herself crazy wondering if he was going to bring up the 'important thing' they needed to talk about, or if she was going to have to succumb to her alternative plan and literally shake it out of him before she lost her patients. "This dinner was perfect. Thank you."

He just smiled and nodded, looking at her as if he too were thankful. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

He leaned in and Sarah felt her heart begin to race, looking down at his hands, seeing if he had a box, but he rested his arms on the table empty handed.

"Sarah," he began as she stared at his mouth waiting for the words when the waiter suddenly appeared next to them.

Steve sat back in his chair, allowing him to remove their plates. It was as if she were transfixed on his mouth as he spoke to the waiter. This moment was becoming more than she could take, wanting it for more than three years and even more so since that first kiss. She hadn't realized how badly she wanted to marry him until it was possibly staring right at her.

"Sarah," he said to her as if trying to get her attention. He chuckled and reached over, touching her on the leg. "Sarah?"

She suddenly focused, her eyes gleaming. "Yes?"

"Do you want any desert?" he said almost laughing over her demeanor.

"No," she replied, but then wondered if maybe the ring would be in the desert. "Do you?" she quickly recanted. "If you do, I'll have some."

He shook his head. "I'm good, but feel free."

She shook her head feeling slightly disappointed. "No, then I'm good too." She watched him smile up at the waiter and relay their answer.

"You were saying," she said, wanting to get his attention back to the subject at hand, feeling her palms begin to sweat.

He rested both arms on the table, "You leave on Friday for your Grandparents fiftieth right?"

She nodded, "Yes. I wish you were going with me. I really wanted them to meet you."

"I know, me too." He reached over taking her hand, gently gliding his thumb over the back of it. "But with Chin and Kono over on Maui for that family reunion I can't leave with just Danny here. Next time, I promise."

"I understand." But what she really wanted was for him to get it out before she screamed.

"Well," he began again, shifting in his chair.

She got the sense he was nervous, which only ensured her of what was coming.

"Are you happy Sarah?"

She smiled, "Yes. Dinner was wonderful."

"No. I mean with me." He pointed between the two of them. "With us?"

She moved her hand so it covered his now. "Yes. I'm very, very happy."

He liked that answer. "We spend a lot of time going back and forth to each others houses. Don't you think?"

"Yes."

"Most of the time we're rushing in the morning having to go home and change before work. It can be a pain."

She liked where this was going.

"I was thinking that while you were gone that maybe I'd move some of your things over to my house."

She looked at him quizzically, "Some of my things?"

"Yeah, your clothes, your dresser," he smiled, wondering if she was catching on.

Sarah looked down at his hands, one still resting on hers and the other on the table. She looked back up at him as he raised an eyebrow.

"I want you to move in with me," he finally said.

She stared at him, waiting for the next line, waiting and waiting until she realized it wasn't coming. He just wanted to live together. He wasn't proposing marriage he was only proposing a roommate. She desperately tried to hide her disappointment.

"What do you think?" he asked her, trying to read her but not sure what she was thinking, but hoping she was on board.

"You're right," she swallowed down the lump in her throat, "it would make sense." She reached over taking a drink of her wine.

He started to get the idea he had made it sound too much like a convenience rather than his true intentions. "I like it on those nights when I come home and you're there, either on the couch watching TV, or up in bed waiting for me. It's nice. I'd like to have that every night."

His tone of voice is what she was drawn too; it was sincere. She loved him; there was no doubt about that. She let go the proposal, knowing this was a huge step for him never having lived with anyone before. Maybe this was all he was capable of at the moment. After all, it was all his idea, she had never suggested nor even hinted that they move in together. If this were all he could offer her now, she'd take it. She just wanted to be with him and didn't want him to feel pressured by any means. "Can I bring my collection of baseball glasses?"

Steve laughed, "Of course." His smiled faded to a happy grin. "You can bring anything you want. I'll make room for it."

She nodded, "Ok then, yes." She kissed him back as he leaned over to her, but she still couldn't help but feel that painful regret that her answer of yes was not to the question she had hoped for. Her next thought went to her Father, wondering how in the heck she was going to tell him that his little girl was moving in with a man without a ring on her finger. He wasn't gong to be so pleased. Her Mother would understand because she knew how much she loved Steve; she could hear it in her voice, even over the phone.

He was glad she had agreed but it wasn't quite what he had been expecting. For some reason he thought she'd be more excited, but he guessed that they had already been practically living together as it was and nothing was really going to change, except she would be at his place all the time now. "You know," he said, "nothings really going to change between us." Feeling like he had to let her know that he didn't expect her to cater to him or that she felt like she had to do anything different than she already was, wondering if that was what her hesitation was about. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want a roommate Sarah. I love you. I want you to be happy there and feel like it's your home too."

He was trying so hard to make it sound like this was going to be a good thing. She suddenly felt horrible for not being more excited.

He was about to ask her if she really wanted this when she pushed her chair back and stood up, taking a seat on his lap and wrapping her arm over his shoulder. It was a five star restaurant and they got both looks of approval and disapproval, but he didn't care, this gesture was something he'd remember fondly for the rest of his life.

"I love you too," she said, "and I already feel at home when I'm there. I feel at home wherever I am with you."

He cupped the back of her neck and reached up with his mouth, kissing her for that.

* * *

Steve opened Sarah's front door and let her go in first.

"I'm just going to grab a couple of things."

"We can stay here tonight if you want?" he suggested.

She put her hands inside his jacket and around his waist. "No way," she smiled. "I want to stay at my new place."

"Then grab enough for a couple of days." Her enthusiasm was exactly what he had been hoping for.

"Ok." She kissed him and went down the hall to her room as he went in the kitchen.

"You might regret this you know." She yelled back. "Did I tell you that I rent a warehouse where I keep my real wardrobe?"

Steve laughed, "Well then I guess I'll just have to donate some of my cargo pants to charity to make room. Danny would be so happy." He reached in the cupboard for a glass, setting it down on the counter next to a pad of paper, not noticing the scribbling on it. He opened the fridge and scanned the ingredients, settling on a glass of cold water from a jug she kept in there for him. It was another small gesture on her part that was never requested; it just showed up one day because she knew him so well. He loved that about her.

He poured the water in the glass, splashing some of it on the pad of paper. He wiped away the splatters and was startled to see the doodling on the sheet. Written over and over was Sarah's name with his last name, as if she had been practicing how to write it. He forgone the glass and picked up the pad, wondering if this was from earlier today or when she had done this. It didn't really matter he decided, this was on her mind. She'd never talked about it, nor asked him his thoughts on it, the same as the living arrangements. She just seemed happy and content, but this was undeniable. She thought about marriage.

His mouth suddenly went even drier as his heart raced, coming to the realization that maybe this is what she had been expecting tonight at dinner. It all started to fall into place. The odd behavior and the lack of excitement wasn't just his imagination. "Oh shit," he groaned, recalling his words in the email that might have been miss leading.

"Do you know if I still have shampoo over there?" she yelled out from the bathroom.

He set the pad down, but tore off the sheet, putting it in his pocket. "Yeah, I think there's a bottle in the shower."

She appeared around the corner. "I'm ready then." She held a shopping bad full of clothes, smiling. "This is just the beginning."

The pleasure he had earlier from this move suddenly wasn't as exciting anymore. He felt like a heel, wondering why he hadn't gone one better and proposed to her? It never really crossed his mind to the point that he thought she would be ready for something like that, or was that his excuse and the reason it never surfaced was maybe because he wasn't ready. Either way it was painful knowing he'd let her down in any way whatsoever.

"Can we stop for ice cream on the way home?" she asked. "I polished off that chocolate you had in the freezer the other day."

He nodded, wanting to apologize for his mistake but instead he let it go, as well as the nagging conscience that told him she deserved more, even if she didn't demand it.

* * *

Sarah rolled over in her sleep with her back to him. Steve turned his head in that direction, waking from the movement. He reached down and covered up her naked body with the sheet, feeling a little chilled himself. His thoughts instantly went to the dinner and then to the piece of paper. She was here in his house and he should just let it go. She didn't seem bothered by it after all. They had come home, shared a bowl of ice cream and then gone straight to bed. They made love first which she instigated. A move that assured him once again she was happy. Even so, he rolled over and put his arm around her and nestled close to her.

"I love you," he whispered to her, knowing she didn't hear him, but wanted to say it anyway.

'_Then why don't you want to marry me?_' she thought sadly to herself as he held her close.

* * *

Danny waited by the entrance to headquarters seeing Sarah get out of her car and make her way in.

"Good morning," she said with a smile.

"Good morning. How was your fancy dinner last night?" he asked. "I hope you ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and followed it with a gold lined desert."

Sarah laughed as he held the door open for her. "You're terrible. I had salmon, "she put her hand over heart imitating her delight over it, "and it was divine,"

"I can't believe the tight wad opened his wallet that far." He gently nudged her teasingly. "I know you're something special, but geez."

She glanced over at him. "Don't you know why he took me there last night?" assuming he did.

"No."

"He asked me to move in with him."

Danny stopped in his tracks and looked at her shocked. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. He wants to move most of my stuff while I'm on the mainland visiting my family. " She tilted her head, more surprised over his lack of knowledge of it. "You really didn't know?"

"No! He just said he was taking you to a nice dinner." He thought it was odd that Steve hadn't mentioned it. "So what did you say?"

"I said yes," she said with a smile, but even as she spoke it she felt that same hint of regret over not being proposed too. She had to get over that she thought stubbornly.

"That's great. I'm happy for you guys."

"Thanks Danny." She heard her name being said from across the room as Carol came speedily up to her.

"Well," she said excitedly grabbing Sarah's hand.

Sarah quickly pulled it away. "We had a great dinner and he asked me to move in with him."

"Oh," Carol said a little taken back but quickly tried to recover with a big smile and hug. "That's great too Sarah! I'm so happy for you."

She hugged her back looking at Danny over her Carol's shoulder, seeing that expression on his face. She quickly diverted her eyes elsewhere, not wanting to see the pity.

'_Ah geez_,' he thought miserably. '_She was looking for a ring last night_.'

Carol pulled away, still gripping her by the shoulders. "Congratulations."

"Thanks Carol," Sarah replied sheepishly, but could see the disappointment on her as well. This was becoming a bit humiliating, hoping Carol hadn't said anything to anyone else about it. As she walked off, Sarah turned back to Danny.

He stared at her knowingly but didn't say anything.

"What?" she said, sighing heavily, "Don't say it."

He held his hands up in defense, "I'm not saying anything." But he knew that was a lie and so did she. "But you know him, he can be a little naïve when it comes to stuff like this." He began to make excuses for him trying to ease her obvious disappointment. "Sometimes he just needs a little…" he used his hands, simulating a push.

"A nudge?" Sarah filled in the blank for him

"A kick in the ass," Danny quickly retorted.

Sarah smiled, "Maybe so, but I don't want him to ask because of a kick in the ass. I want him to ask because he wants to ask."

He huffed, knowing she was right on track with that. She wasn't the type of girl to throw threats or ultimatums. It wasn't her style. "You're a good girl Sarah. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you."

She gently rubbed her hand up and down his arm, thanking him for that. "I'm pretty lucky too. He's good to me."

"I know," he agreed. "I'll see you later," he said backing up, pointing at her. "Just don't get domesticated on me."

Sarah laughed, "No way! I don't do domesticated."

He waved over his shoulder, going up the stairs. He was happy for her. She wanted this and he also knew it was a huge move for Steve, but still, he couldn't help but feel that slight annoyance build, knowing him well enough that this little arrangement could turn comfortable, too comfortable, and before you know it, five years pass by. He knew Sarah didn't want that. She was ready for it now. It began to irk him the closer he got to the office, until he was standing in front of Steve's desk.

Danny ignored the good morning from him as he glanced up over the top of his computer.

"I ran into Sarah downstairs. So what's the deal," he blurted out angrily, "she's good enough to sleep and live with but she's not good enough to marry?"

Steve narrowed his eyes, wondering what he was talking about.

"Don't look at me and play the dumb card. I want an answer."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Sarah and this nice little arrangement you got set up. Works out great for you doesn't it? You only have to commit so much. What a convenience."

Steve sat back in his chair, bewildered by the sudden attack but also irked by it. "You know, to be quite honest Daniel it's none of your business."

"Yes!" he said, pointing a finger. "Yes it is. And I'll tell you why. She's like a little sister to me. You were on one of your Naval Reserve trips when her brother JC was here a couple of years ago. He and I got to know each other and he told me that her family was a little concerned with her living over here all alone, but after meeting me and the others he confessed that he felt relieved. I assured him that I would look out for her. So," he said, standing his ground. "I'm saying what one of her brothers would say if they were standing right here in my place."

"Are you done?" he asked him.

"No! I said I want an answer. Do you think she's not good enough to marry? Because I'm telling you right now, you'd be damn lucky to have her. Damn lucky!"

Steve sat back in his chair, taping his finger impatiently on the arm of the chair. "Ok, are you done now?"

Danny glared at him, pissed that he was acting as if this was no big deal. He felt like he was patronizing him. "Whatever. You know best don't you?" He went to turn and walk out.

"I was going to ask her when she gets home from this trip," he blurted out. "So you can stop acting like her mother."

Danny stopped and turned, "Really? Was it my little speech I just gave you? Did I knock some sense into you?"

Steve huffed, "Don't flatter yourself." He opened up the drawer of his desk and pulled out the sheet of paper from her kitchen, setting it on the desk and sliding it over in his direction. "This is what knocked some sense into me."

Danny reached over and picked it up.

Steve watched a smile slowly take place of the earlier scowl. "I think she was looking for a ring last night."

Danny set the paper back down on the desk. "She was."

Steve looked even more caught off by that remark than the earlier bashing. "Did she tell you that?"

"No, of course not. But when I ran into her downstairs Carol came screaming up and grabbed her hand, examining it as if they had discussed it beforehand. So being the brilliant detective that I am, I made the connection."

"Yeah," Steve rolled his eyes, "you're like Sherlock Holmes."

"More so than you are a Romeo." He sat down in the chair across from his desk. "And I'll tell you something else. Don't marry her because it's what you think she wants. She doesn't want that either."

"Jesus, will you lay off?" he snapped.

"No, I won't. I'm not going to let you waltz into this thing and dance around the meaning of it because you feel like it's what she wants and then during the seven-year itch you remember it as being something you felt you HAD to do."

"God," Steve groaned, shaking his head. "You must think I'm a real prick."

"No, I don't," he said sincerely. "I know that you love Sarah and I also know that you would do anything for her and vice versa. But I also know you have this thing with loyalty and that stunt she pulled with Leese last year, you consider that loyalty in the first degree, and my concern is that you're going to marry her because you think that she deserves it, but you have to want it more than that, and I don't think you do."

He felt like that remark was like a punch in the face. "Why would you say that?"

"Because if you felt otherwise, you would have asked her to marry you last night, and not just move in with you."

Steve opened his mouth to argue and then closed it, knowing he had hit it right on the head and there was nothing he could say to defend himself. He did love her, there was no question about that, but he had to ask himself again why he hadn't considered that option before. Was he marrying her for all the wrong reasons?

Danny didn't say anything else but just got up and left the office, letting him absorb that information and work it out on his own, confident that he would.

* * *

Sarah pulled her carry-on out from the back of Steve's truck. "You didn't have to park. You could have just dropped me out at the curb."

"No way," he said, getting her larger suitcase out. "I'll take you all the way to the gate."

She thought he was exaggerating until they got to the terminal, where he paid the man outside to have her luggage checked-in curbside and then moved up through the line with her through security, flashing his badge and introducing her as his girlfriend to the security guard he knew that checked her through.

They got down to her gate and she looked at her watch. "Well I wasn't expecting the VIP treatment. I have almost an hour before I board."

"Come on," he took her hand. "I'll buy you a beer."

They sat at a table in one of the bars that overlooked the runway. Steve set down two Longboards he got from the bartender, taking the seat next to her instead of across from her.

"Are you excited to see everyone?" he asked.

"Yes. I haven't seen my grandparents in a long time."

"Or your parents."

"Skyping is nice, but it's not the same, so yes, I'm excited to see everyone."

"I'm going to miss you."

She smiled over that. "I'm going to miss you too."

"And when you come back I'll have most of your stuff moved."

She took a drink of her beer. "Yep. Be careful with my baseball glasses," she teased.

"I'll wrap them separately and set them on the front seat of my truck with the seat belt around them."

She leaned over and kissed him. "You're a good man."

He picked up her hand, rubbing his thumb over her ring finger. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

He looked up at her, "Were you expecting a ring the other night at dinner?"

Her eyes instantly looked down, not wanting him to see them when she replied. "I don't know if I was expecting one…" She cursed Danny, knowing he must have said something.

"Hoping then?" he corrected.

"I think I just miss-read your email and I jumped to conclusions…" she went to explain, but stopped. "I know that you love you me, Steve and that's all I need right now."

"For how long?"

She looked up at him for that. "What do you mean?"

"How long do I have before you want to get married? I mean I figure we eventually will, but can you give me a time frame?"

She tilted her head, "You want me to give you a time frame? Like what, months, years, decades?" she replied confused.

"Well yeah, kind of. So I have an idea when I should start considering the proposal."

Sarah sat back in her chair stunned. "Well how about twenty years, would that give you enough time? Maybe by then you'd be ready."

"You're being sarcastic aren't you?" he chuckled. "I already said I would marry you. I just don't know why we have to rush into it."

"I never said we did. As a matter of fact I don't think it would be a very good idea either," she lied.

"It's not that I don't love you Sarah and that I don't want to spend my life with you, because I do. But I see people around me and have known people who were really happy like us, and once they got married it all changed. I'm afraid if we did that…" he paused, taking her hand. "I'm so happy in my life right now and the way things are going with us, I don't want to lose this. I guess that's what I'm afraid of, not the commitment part with you. That I'm not afraid of at all, but what I need to know is, can you be happy with just me, or do you feel like you need a ring for me to prove what I already declare and show you every single day?"

She had to give him the benefit of the doubt on that one. She did feel loved and she did feel that commitment from him, but could she live the rest of her life without the other? She had never considered it, always assuming when she found 'the one' that it would lead to the other, but now she had to reconsider it.

"Hey," he said kissing the back of her hand, "you know I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded; still reeling over his confession that had her thinking out of the box she had lived in for her whole life. "What about kids? Are you going to tell me now that you don't want kids?"

He squeezed her hand. "I'd have ten kids with you. After spending all that time with you and Jacob it's something I want very much."

She stared at him, seeing the man who gave her everything she needed in life. Maybe this was enough. She began to feel selfish for wanting more when he had clearly given her a good reason why he didn't want to, and it had nothing to do with being afraid of being with her. "I guess I really don't need all that either. I trust you when you tell me you love me and that you want to spend your life with me. I told you before that I feel at home no matter where I am with you, and the same goes for the marriage. I guess don't need a piece of paper or an expensive ring on my finger to prove to myself or anyone else that we're committed to each other."

He didn't think he could have loved her more than he did at that second. Danny was right. He was lucky. He felt he had won the lottery with Sarah.

* * *

They stood off to the side of the entry as the others boarded the plane.

"Call me as soon as you land."

"I will."

"I miss you already."

She reached up and kissed him. "I love you." She felt tears stinging her eyes. The last half hour had been emotionally difficult but she had to consider his feelings as well, wondering if she could really forgo the marriage part and be as happy with it as he was. Her biggest fear was that they would fall into the same problem if they didn't get married. Would the love they have now change because they didn't have that special bond? She didn't say it but it was there.

"I love you too Sarah, very much."

He kissed her goodbye, taking his time. It would be a week before he saw her again, knowing it was going to be torture. Hell, he could barely go a day without her before feeling lost; this was going to hurt. But he sensed he had accomplished what he had set out to do, feeling confident that on her return home, life was going to change most defiantly for the better.

* * *

Steve came into Danny's office two hours later and sat down in the chair across from him, grinning mischievously.

"So did she by it?" he asked, chuckling at his expression.

"Every word. I should receive an academy award for that performance."

Danny laughed. "Now all you need to do is get a ring before she gets home."

Steve stretched his leg out, reaching in his pants pocket and set the black velvet box on his desk. "Stopped on the way home from the airport to look, and found this."

Danny reached over for it, doubting it would be worthy. It was an impulse buy. He should have shopped around more. But when he opened the box he quickly took it back. "Holy shit!" he looked up at him. "Can I marry you?"

Steve laughed, leaning forward to get another look at it. "It's nice huh?"

"Nice?" he questioned that as if it were an understatement, tilting it so he could get the sparkle of the light off the diamonds. "How much more a year do you make than me?!"

Steve laughed, reaching over and taking it from him, admiring it again. "There was another one there that I could have just paid cash for, but this one stood out. It was more expensive too. I still need to make a years payment on it to make up the difference. But I liked it." He looked up at him. "You think she'll like it?"

"She'll love it. This is what you want huh?"

Steve sat back in the chair, still holding it. "Yep. I want to marry because I want to marry her. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect," Danny said, seeing it all over him as well.


	14. Chapter 14

"No Dad," Sarah argued. "It's not like that at all!"

"Sounds too me like it is," her older brother Timmy blurted out. "What's the saying, '_Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free_.'

His older brother JC reached over and slapped the hat off his head. "Say something like that again smart-ass. I'll knock the shit out ya."

"Stop it," Sarah's mother shouted from the kitchen. "I don't want that language used in my house." She came from around the counter, pointing the wooden spoon in her hand at Timmy. "And if I hear you speaking about your sister that way again, I'll use this on your backside like I used to when you were a ten. Do you hear me young man?!"

Timmy laughed, "Yes Ma'am."

"I don't like this guy," her father started again. "He doesn't respect you Sarah. That's what I'm hearing."

She slouched back in her chair, wishing now she wouldn't have said anything at all. But with her Mother's announcement that they were coming to Hawaii to visit that summer, she had to come clean about her new living arrangements. "Steve is a great guy," she defended. "He's a really good man. He loves me very much. I know that without a doubt. He already said he wants to get married someday, but I…"

"Then why not now?" Timmy jumped in again. "He's using you Sarah."

"Shut up Timmy!" she blasted him. "God, you are so annoying! You don't even know him. None of you do! You don't even listen to me, you just assume because we aren't jumping into marriage that this whole thing is some kind of joke." She got up and pushed away from the table. "Have you thought for one second that maybe it's me that doesn't want to get married?" She stormed out of the house through the opened sliding glass door, walking toward the pool and sitting down on the diving board with her back to them. She clenched her fists, angry with them for not understanding and angry with Steve for not wanting it now.

She felt a hand on her back and looked up seeing her brother JC. "What?" she snapped.

"Hey, hey, settle down." He put his hand up, imitating a Native American. "I come in peace."

Sarah chuckled, scooting over as he sat down next to her.

"Don't let Dad get to you, Sis. You're his baby girl and you always will be. No one will ever be good enough for you. Not even some Governor Commanding ex Navy Seal guy who sounds more like he's Captain America." He gently nudged her. "Oh yea I forgot, who also looks like Captain America."

Sarah laughed over his description of Steve. "He's above all that JC. That's my description of him because I want you all to be impressed by him, but if he were to describe himself to you, he'd probably say disciplined and loyal, but above all honest. He doesn't talk about the other stuff. He wants to be known for those three things, not the hero stuff."

"Hero!" JC smiled. "That's a bold word."

"He's mine," she said sincerely.

His smile faded, seeing something in her eyes that he'd never noticed until just then. "You really do love this guy don't you?"

"Yes!"

"Be honest with me Sis, would you rather have a ring and not just a key?"

She knew of all her brother's JC was the one she could talk the most open with and trust him to have her back. "I wanted a ring, but it's ok too. He's just not ready yet. I respect that."

"Ok then," he put his arm around her. "if you're happy, then I'm happy. Besides," he chuckled, "I'm not sure I could kick this one's ass for you. I ran into Bryce at church a few weeks ago. He's transferred back from Hawaii. He told me he ran into you and some guy at a bar in Waikiki. Sounds like it was Steve."

Sarah almost burst out laughing, forgetting all about that incident. "JC, I don't know what Bryce told you…" she quickly tried to cover for Steve.

"He told me the guy was sticking up for you. He thought Bryce was drunk and putting his hands on you. He also said that once he found out the truth, he was pretty much harmless."

"He's not a bully by any means. He's the type guy that steps up between you and the bully, and faces him down."

JC smiled, "Bryce also said he was huge. Not huge, huge, but solid."

Sarah grinned, "He's pretty fit. It comes from that whole discipline thing from being a Seal. I tease him all the time, telling him once a Seal always a Seal."

"He sounds like a decent guy, but most of all I know you're a smart girl and you wouldn't let anyone walk on ya."

"I wouldn't," she assured him. "Plus, you met Danny. He's Danny's partner. And you really liked Danny."

"I didn't know that! Well that's cool. Another plus." He squeezed her with his arm that was still around her. "Just promise me one thing, Sis. Sarah comes first. OK?"

She laid her head on his shoulder. "OK."

* * *

Steve lay out on the couch, kicking his shoes off the end. He pulled up Sarah's number and called.

"Hi," she said, going out the sliding glass door to the pool, wanting to avoid any more confrontations. This trip hadn't been the best time so far.

"How's Phoenix? Have you melted yet?" he smiled, happy to hear her voice.

She sat down at the edge of the pool, dipping her feet in. "No, it's only about 103 today. Not too bad."

He sat up, "You ok?"

"Yes," she closed her eyes, shaking her head, not wanting to be angry at him, but feeling the frustration of her family on her back.

She didn't convince him. "Are you sure? You sound a little down."

She wanted to cry at this point, but swallowed it down. "I'm fine. It's just been a long day."

"Sarah," he said more firmly. "What's wrong?"

She felt tears sting her eyes, looking up trying to avoid the flood. "My Dad's pretty pissed that I'm moving in with you. I knew he wouldn't take it well, but he's not taking it well at all."

He could really hear it now. "You mean because we're not getting married?"

"Well…kind of." She didn't want to say it out right, not wanting to have this conversation with him either. She felt like she was stuck in the middle.

"Oh sweetie, listen to me," he decided to come clean for her sake. "We can get married whenever you want."

"Stop it. That's not going to help." She heard a beep and pulled her phone away from her ear as he replied to her. "Shit!" she grumbled. "My phones about to die. I forgot to charge it when I got here."

"Sarah," he said more adamantly. "Hey, did you hear me?"

"What?"

"I'm serious! We can get married. I want too."

"I know you do. You told me that before. Just not right away. I believe you." She rolled her eyes, really not wanting to have this conversation again.

"No, I mean now. ASAP!"

She looked over her shoulder, hearing her name being called. "I'm coming!" she yelled out. "I have to go, my grandparents just got here. We're going to dinner." She cupped the phone seeing her grandfather standing at the sliding glass door coming out to greet her.

"Honey," Steve said, just wait a second. Listen to me. At the airport, that whole thing wasn't true. I was just setting you up for a proposal." He could hear distant mumbling, pulling the phone away to make sure he was still connected. "Sarah!"

"Hi Grandpa," she put her arms around his neck getting a big hug.

"How's my favorite granddaughter," he said, shaking her.

Sarah laughed. "I'm fine. Hold on one second."

"Steve, I have to go. I'll call you later. I love you." She paused but heard no reply. "Steve?" She pulled the phone away seeing it had already died. "Dang it."

Steve watched the screen on his phone display the words 'call ended' and dropped his head down. "Shit, shit, shit!" He quickly brought up his text screen and texted a message for when the phone was re-charged.

'_I'm ready to get married now. That whole thing at the airport was just a way to throw you off until you got home. I have a ring. I love you. I would marry you in a heartbeat. Call me as soon as you get this._'

He closed his eyes, wishing now he would have proposed at the airport. This whole plan wasn't turning out the way he had hoped. He had no idea her family, especially her father would react this way; otherwise he would have put her on that plane with a ring. He couldn't stand the thought of her being unhappy, especially when there was really no merit for it whatsoever. It was killing him. And worse yet, he couldn't even talk to her.

* * *

Sarah got in the car with her grandparents, not wanting to be alone again with her father. She could feel the disappointment from across the room after she got off the phone with Steve.

"So," her Grandmother said, turning in her seat to see her. "You're mother says you have a man in your life. It's pretty serious."

Sarah forced a smile and wanted to jump out of the car. "Yes. His name is Steve."

"So what does this Steve do?"

"He's a police officer."

"Oh," she and her husband gave each other a look.

"What?" Sarah snapped, "What's so bad about that?"

They looked at each other again. Her grandfather adjusting the mirror so he could see her in the back. "It doesn't mean anything. It's just impressive, that's all."

"I heard that your father is a little taken back by him. Is this the defensiveness that I'm hearing?"

"Dad hasn't even met him yet." she sighed, deciding to just tell them because they were going to find out eventually and she'd rather it came from her. "Steve asked me to move in with him when I get back to Hawaii."

"Wow," he grandmother said, "that is serious. Are you going to do it?"

"Yes," she said not feeling or getting the same disappointed look from either of them. "I love him and he loves me. We both want this. We'll eventually get married but for right now, this is what we want."

"Good for you."

She was a little taken back over their reaction, or better yet, the lack of a reaction. "You don't think we should get married first?" she asked them.

They both looked at each other and laughed. "Let me tell you a little secret," her grandmother said. "Before we got married, we lived together too. We were living in separate cities after your Grandfather got out of the Navy. We wanted to be together but couldn't afford two places."

He huffed, "And believe me, it wasn't a popular thing to do in those times. We were criticized pretty good by both of our parents, but we knew we loved each other and knew we'd get married eventually, just like you and Steve."

"Do you talk about marriage?" her grandmother asked.

"Yes. He already told me he wants to."

"Well then, when you're ready."

Sarah finally felt some sort of relief.

"Don't let your Dad get on you too much Sarah. He's a bit old fashioned, and that's coming from an old geezer like me."

Sarah laughed, "You're not an old geezer Grandpa. You'd like Steve too. He was in the Navy just like you. He was a Seal for six years," she said proudly.

"Really? Well being a Navy Man myself I have to say that's very impressive. They didn't have Seal's around when I was in but I heard those guys are like tough as nails. I can't wait to meet him."

"I wish he were here, but he couldn't get away from work. He wanted to be." She missed him more than ever at that moment. It had only been a day and she could already feel the pain over the separation from him, reaching for her purse and remembering she forgot her cell phone sitting on the counter being charged.

* * *

Steve woke up early and reached for his cell phone, checking for a message from Sarah. He'd tried calling her again the night before but got no answer. He lay back in bed and groaned. It had been a restless night, not only because of the turmoil effecting him now but because he missed her sleeping next to him. He held the phone out in front of him and did the time difference between Hawaii and Arizona, three hours. It would be almost nine o'clock there. '_Maybe_,' he thought, '_maybe she doesn't want to call me too early_.' But she knew he was an early riser. '_Or maybe she's just pissed off_.' He growled over his mistake again and decided to take the initiative and call her instead.

Timmy reached for the vibrating phone, seeing Steve's face and name pop up on the screen. "Forget it buddy," he pushed ignore, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." He set the phone back down; deleting the evidence that he had called. "If you really love her you'd marry her."

He felt he was doing the right thing for his little sister. She seemed too gaga over this guy and by her description of him; he seemed to be one of these guys that felt he had the right to string her along. "Navy Seal," he scoffed, "Cop, good-looking." Steve seemed to good to be true in his eyes. He loved his sister but felt she was being naïve if she thought this guy was everything she had described. In his mind Steve was setting her up. He didn't feel guilty over it, knowing he was doing the right thing by making him work for it. And if he didn't, then she would finally see the light.

The phone buzzed again and Timmy laughed. "Persistent. Hate being left hanging?" he decided to really give him something to think about. He answered it.

"Hello?"

Steve sat up in bed over the strangers voice answering Sarah's phone. "Is…Sarah there?"

"Umm," Timmy stammered, "No, I don't think so. She got home pretty late last night and then took off early this morning. She must have forgot her phone."

Steve didn't think anything of that, knowing she was on vacation and probably catching up with people. "Do you know when she'll be back?"

"Hold on," he cupped the phone and sat there counting to ten before coming back on. "No, she went out with Pudo again today to hike up Camelback Mountain. They won't be back for a while."

Steve fell right into the trap. "Pudo?" he asked, wondering if that was a nickname of one her brothers.

"Gary Pudo. He grew up down the street. He and Sarah go way back. Two peas in a pod, you know."

"Ya, I know." He felt his stomach turn a bit. He knew exactly what he was talking about. He and Sarah were that once too.

"Do you want to leave her a message?" Timmy grinned over his cleverness.

"Just tell her that Steve called."

"Does she have your number?"

"It's in her phone. It should have popped up when I called."

"No, unknown caller popped up, that's why I answered it."

He really felt sick now. What the hell was going on? She deleted him from her phone! Out with other guys! "Um," his head was spinning trying to finish this call. "I guess I'll just try her again later."

"Ok, if she comes home I'll give her the message. Later," He hung up and laughed, "Good luck on that Buddy."

As he hung up he noticed the text icon and clicked on it, seeing Steve's text from the night before. He read it over twice more, and this time he was the one that felt a little nauseous over his treachery.

Sarah lifted the newspaper on the table and then shifted through the mail in the box on the counter. "Has anyone seen my phone? I left it here last night to charge?"

"No," her mother answered.

"Not me," JC replied sitting at the table.

Her mother put the mail back in the basket that Sarah had taken out. "With all of you staying here this week, things are going to get messy unless you keep your things put away."

"It's a phone," Sarah said, looking over at her brother, rolling her eyes. "It was sitting right here before we left for dinner."

"Don't roll your eyes at me young lady," her mother scolded, playfully smacking her on the butt. "And don't think I'm going to clean up after you kids like I used to when you were little either." She added, picking up JC's breakfast plate. "Ken and his family and Todd and his family will be here before the end of the day and we have that BBQ tomorrow and I expect some help around here."

"Ok, ok," Sarah rolled her eyes again.

"You got it Mom," JC joined in. "By the way, what's on the lunch menu for today?"

She picked up a newspaper and smacked him over the head with it. "Bread and water," she laughed.

"Seriously," Sarah went back to her hunt. "Where is my phone?!"

JC moved some items on the kitchen table. "Are you expecting a call from your boyfriend this morning," he teased. "Are you missing him?" he said in a girly voice. "I miss him. I miss my boyfriend." He continued on, patronizing her and pretending to cry.

"Shut up," Sarah laughed.

"Use Mom and Dad's phone?" he suggested.

Sarah plopped down in one of the chairs. "I can't. I don't know his number."

"What?" her mother said from behind her. "You don't know his number?"

"It's in my phone. Who memorizes numbers anymore, or keeps address books in their purse?"

"True," JC agreed. "If I lost my phone and was stranded somewhere I couldn't call anyone."

"That's ridiculous," her mother said, searching through her purse and pulling out a small blue address book. "I could call any one of you," she smiled, holding it up. "Mother knows best."

They both looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

* * *

Steve came walking by Danny's office, stopping just long enough to berate him. "I should have never listened to you! Why do I listen to you?!" He moved on running to his own office.

"What?!" Danny came from around his desk and out the door. "What did I do?"

Steve flipped up his laptop, pulling up Alaska Airlines website.

"What?" he stood at Steve's door with his hands stretched out. "What?!" he said louder.

"That whole thing was a bad idea!" he yelled back. "Her Dad's mad because she's moving in with me and not getting married. She was practically crying on the phone."

"Why didn't you just tell her the truth?"

"I tried! I was telling her when her phone died. It was like a fricking nightmare. I texted her but she never called me back. So I called her this morning and she was out with some," he used his fingers as quotation marks "'old friend' last night and then went hiking with him today up Camel something Mountain!"

Danny laughed, "So what? She's not allowed to see old friends?"

Steve glared at him, "I was a friend before we got serious."

Danny laughed again. "Are you kidding me? Do you really think Sarah would cheat on you? Come on!"

"No! That's not what I'm afraid of."

"Then what?"

"She's there with her family who are giving her a hard time about me not marrying her and then her last impression of me is telling her again that I don't want to get married now. You should have heard her voice on the phone." He shook his head, distraught. "I knew something was wrong right away. What if she starts second guessing us and in the meantime she's there with whoever this guy is and maybe he offers her something better." He sat back in his chair, rubbing his hands through his hair. "I can't believe I fucked this up."

"Calm down," Danny said, more so with his hands. "Just relax. How do you know she's out with some guy?"

"Her brother answered her phone and told me." He sat up, gripping the arms of the chair. "And that's another thing. He said my number came up as unknown! Unknown!" The shocked look on his face over that turned to a pained one. "She took me off her phone!" He turned the chair and put his head between his legs, feeling nauseous. "Jesus Danny. If I messed this up…if I lose her."

Danny stifled his laugh not wanting to make it worse but knew there had to be an explanation for everything. He couldn't imagine Sarah leaving him, anymore than he could imagine Steve leaving her. He watched him sit back up and go to his computer. "Are you going to email her?"

Steve looked at him like he was nuts. "No! I'm getting a flight to Phoenix. I'm going there and I'm going to propose to her before she changes her mind about me all together."

Danny stared at him as his fingers worked speedily on the computer, seeing a bead of sweat begin to form on his brow. He'd never seen him like this before. If he weren't so hysterical it would have been comical. He didn't even know what to say to him anymore. It was as if he were beyond any kind of logical thinking, feeling that threat of losing the one woman that he had fallen in love with. It was actually tragically funny because Danny knew without a doubt he had blown it all out of proportion but bit his tongue, knowing it would make Sarah happy if he showed up there and the proposal would be a hundred times better and probably a hell of a lot more sincere this way; he only wished he could be there to hear Steve lay it out.


	15. Chapter 15

Sarah unpacked the groceries on the counter as her father came in from the backyard, removing his work gloves.

"Have you seen my phone?" she asked him, not stopping with her duty.

"No. Is your Mother around?"

"No. She ran over to the party store for plates."

He came in the kitchen with her, getting a glass of water. He leaned against the counter taking a drink and watching her, feeling the tension that wasn't spoken, but it was there. She had grown up to be a wonderful young woman, he thought. Smart, independent. He remembered the day when she told him she was moving to Hawaii and the disappointment he felt over it, only because he was going to miss her so much, and worry continuously. But she had done well for herself there. He should have been prouder of her. He felt a wave of guilt wash over him from being so hard on her about this new man. She was no push over; he knew that and should have given her the benefit of the doubt. She deserved at least that. Plus, this silence between them was killing him. He was so excited to have her home and here they were barely speaking. He thought about the argument between he and his wife the night before in bed, being told that if he didn't accept her decision that she just might make this her last visit home. That made him toss and turn all night.

"Sarah," he said gently.

"What?" she answered, putting away a handful of cans into the cupboard.

He set the glass down and went to her before she could reach into another bag. "I'm sorry." He held her by both arms. "This whole thing came as such a shock to me. I guess I always had this old fashioned idea that when my daughter met the one, he'd come and ask my permission to marry you, the same as I did with your mother, but that is my ideals, and not necessarily with the times. I shouldn't have judged this young man on my ideals. I'm sorry."

"He's not a wolf in man's clothing Dad."

He sighed heavily. "I know. It's just hard to see your daughter grow up and find another man to take care of her. I just want it to be someone who can really do that and who can really appreciate you for who you are."

Sarah smiled, both over his choice of words, never knowing he felt that way, and the fact that she had found that ideal man. "Steve is wonderful. He's all that Daddy and more. You'll see when you come to Hawaii."

He pulled her into his arms, not having heard the word Daddy from her in a long time. He liked it, reminding him of a simpler time when she was just his little girl. "I'm sure he's everything you said." He pulled away so he could see her. "Just promise me one thing."

"What?" she smiled.

"No children until you get married."

"Ok," she laughed, knowing that would never happen with Steve anyway so it was an easy promise. She hugged him again, glad they had settled that.

* * *

The BBQ in the backyard was in full swing. It was the pre-dinner to the fiftieth party the next night. It was mostly family and few close friends that attended, gathering around the pool and patio. Her father manned the BBQ as always, cooking burgers and chicken with his infamous white smock on that read '#1 Dad'. A gift Sarah and her brothers had given him for Father's Day almost twenty years earlier, but he still wore it proudly every time he fired up the grill.

Sarah sat in one of the chairs by the pool talking with her sister-in-law Natalie, but her mind was on Steve. She was at a loss on trying to get a hold of him. She had tried leaving messages at his office and home. She had even gone as far as calling Carol and having her run upstairs to his office to find Danny, but no one was there.

Locating their cell numbers was next to impossible. They were not only police officers but they were considered government official since being so closely related to the Governor and numbers were unlisted on all the normal lists. She needed to find her cell phone, imagining him trying to get a hold of her too. But the one thing that bothered her was that if he really wanted to get a hold of her he could have easily found her parents number. They were listed.

She began to let her mind wander, hoping she didn't make him feel pressured by telling him about her father. The more she thought about it the more she began to convince herself that maybe he thought of it as an ultimatum from her. He knew how much her family meant to her. She only hoped that wasn't the case, wondering now if that's why he hadn't called. Her stomach hurt over that thought, because she knew more than anything else he couldn't be pushed.

She laid her head back on the chair when Natalie noticed the conversation had become one-sided. "You miss him huh?"

Sarah smiled. "I'm sorry Natalie," she chuckled. "I feel like a teenage girl. It's only been a couple of days at most. But I can't think about anything else."

Natalie shrugged, "That happens when you're in love. I remember when I first met Ken. I couldn't stand to be away from him."

"There's just so much going on right now and not being able to talk to him is really frustrating."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'm sure he's probably thinking about you too."

Sarah smiled, wondering if he was, and if he was, was it good things he was thinking?

* * *

Timmy cornered his older brother Ken in the garage. "Hey, I think I screwed up."

Ken pulled down an old tricycle from a shelf for his daughter to ride on. "What now Timmy?" That statement didn't surprise him. Timmy was always the one that never stopped to think before he acted.

He held up Sarah's phone. "I've had Sarah's phone the whole time."

He glanced over at him. "Why? She's been looking everywhere for that."

"I don't know. I was standing by it and that guy called."

"The guy from Hawaii?"

"Yeah."

"So why didn't you give it to her?"

"Don't you think he's stringing her along by not marrying her?"

Ken stood up, holding the bike. "Are you for real? It's none of your goddamn business Timmy. Or should I say Dad?!"

"He would agree with me!"

"Give me the phone!" He grabbed it out of his hands, searching through it, not seeing a call or any messages. "Did you delete his calls?"

Timmy nodded, "That's not the worst part." He shifted nervously, "I talked to him this morning when he called back and told him she was out with Gary Pudo last night and today."

"What?!" JC came up to them after coming out the door from the house and hearing the last part of the conversation. "What the hell Timmy!"

Ken held the phone up. "Dick-wads had Sarah's phone the whole time so she couldn't talk to her boyfriend."

JC reached out and grabbed Timmy's nipple with his thumb and finger, squeezing and twisting it. "You little shit! I told you to stay out of it!"

Timmy went down to his knees, trying to get the relentless hold off from his older brother. "Fuck JC, let go!"

"No!" He twisted a little harder. "How's it feel when someone invades your personal space? Hurts don't it."

"I know! I know! I fucked up! I'm sorry!" He tried to maneuver away until JC finally let go, pushing him back to the floor on his butt.

"She's been going crazy trying to reach this guy, calling his office, his friends. She misses the hell out of him. She needs that phone! And now you go and tell the dude she's out with other guys. No wonder she can't get a hold of him. He probably thinks she's cheating on him!" His anger showed as he reached for his other nipple. "If you mess up this relationship for Sarah I'm going wail on your ass!"

* * *

Steve slowed down in the rental car as he came down the street, checking the address on the paper to the numbers on the houses. It was just after sunset and the streetlights were on. He noticed a lot of cars on the street, wondering if someone was having a party or if this was the norm. He saw the house and went past it, not finding an open spot to park. He found one around the corner instead.

He came up the sidewalk, ruffling out the front of his blue dress shirt helping get some air circulating through it. He didn't get the whole '_dry heat_' description about this city. It was just plain fricking hot, even at nine o'clock at night. He wished he had on his shorts instead of black slacks, but wanted to look presentable when he met her family. He rolled up his sleeves to the elbow, trying to alleviate some of the heat.

He smiled at the house that she had grown up in. It was a two-story, tan stucco and even though a majority of neighbors had desert lawns, this one had plush green grass and flowers along the base. It was evident that someone cared about it a great deal.

He came up the driveway, seeing three men in the garage and stopped. The noise coming from the back of the house indicated that the party was here.

"Whose that?" Ken said, pointing toward the driveway.

JC glanced over in that direction. "He's a little over dressed for a BBQ."

Ken came to the edge of the garage. "Hi, can I help you?"

Steve could see Sarah in this guy as plain as day. '_Brother,_' he thought. "Does Sarah Hickey live here?" he asked him.

Ken pointed with his thumb. "Yeah, she's out back. Side gates open."

JC and the other two were all thinking the same thing. Who was this guy and why was he looking for Sarah.

Steve leaned over in that direction and wasn't sure if this was the best time. He wanted to see her badly, but didn't want to ruin anything just incase she was upset with him or worse yet, her father was. "You know what," he said sheepishly. "I'll just come back in a little while."

JC came and stood next to his brother, getting a closer look when all of a sudden it dawned on him. "Hey," he asked inquisitively, "are you Steve?"

Steve raised an eyebrow a little taken back, not sure if the reception was going to be good or bad, and even more surprised he would know who he was. "Yes."

"Holy crap." JC nudged his brother Ken, identifying him. "This is Steve! Sarah's Steve from Hawaii."

Ken looked back over at him, "No shit? Does she know you're here?"

"No. I've been trying to get a hold of her and haven't been able to. I was a little worried about the last conversation we had." He stopped there, not sure how much they knew.

JC walked toward him. "So you came here all the way from Hawaii because you worried about her?" he asked dumbfounded.

Steve shrugged as if that was the common thing to do. "Well, yeah."

The two brothers looked at each other, coming to the conclusion that everything Sarah had said about him wasn't an exaggeration, including the physical description. "Nice move. She'll be glad you're here. She's been going out of her mind trying to get a hold of you too."

"I tried to call her this morning but…"

"Hold that thought," JC said , stepping back and grabbing Timmy by the back of the neck and shoving him toward the front. "This is Timmy. I believe you two spoke on the phone this morning."

Timmy swallowed trying to clear his dry throat. He felt a nudge that was Ken's hand on his back.

"Common on big mouth. You weren't at a loss for words this morning."

Timmy froze, not only from the humiliation, but also from the man standing in front of him. He looked intimidating as hell.

JC stepped forward for his little brother, "There is no Gary Pudo," he explained. "Well there was, about fifteen years ago, but Sarah wasn't out with him. Stupid here," he shoved Timmy on the shoulder, "thought he would play a game of sticking his nose in others people's business and told you a line of bullshit."

Steve felt both relieved over that and a little pissed off, staring at Timmy, wanting to smack him the head.

"I'm sorry, dude," Timmy begged. "Seriously, I'm sorry. I thought I was just looking out for my little sister. I just wanted to…" he paused.

"To what?" Steve said glaring at him. "To make me jealous?"

Timmy shrugged. "I don't know I guess. But it worked. You're here."

"I didn't come here because of that. I trust Sarah and know she would never do anything like to me. I came for another reason."

"Well she's out back," JC said. "like I said, she's going to be happy to see you." He reached his hand out. "I'm JC by the way. Sarah's brother."

"Thought so," Steve smiled. "You all three are related aren't you? I can see the resemblance in all of you."

"We do have that," Ken laughed, reaching his hand out too as Steve shook it. "I'm Ken, the oldest. JC is second oldest and the middle kid Todd is out back and Timmy here is the youngest brother and of course you probably know Sarah is the youngest and only girl, so you have to know that we've always been kind of protective of her."

Steve laughed. "She mentioned that." He shook Timmy's hand next, gripping it a little tighter than the others, looking him straight in the eye. "I've always been pretty protective of her as well. There's no need to test my devotion when it comes to her, it's genuine." He turned his attention back to JC. "Danny told me to say Yo, if I saw you."

JC smiled, "He was cool. I liked him. Sarah said he's your partner."

"He is, and he is a pretty cool guy."

"Well let's get out back and make her night."

"Actually," Steve said, standing his ground. "Is your father here? I'd like to speak to him before I see Sarah."

"Dad?" Ken smiled, "You want to talk to our Dad? About Sarah?"

"Yes," Steve smiled back, knowing they probably had an idea about what.

"Do you…" JC grinned, "want to ask his permission for something?"

"Maybe," Steve chuckled.

"If you're trying to score points with the old man," JC laughed, "then this is defiantly the way to do it."

"I heard that I'm not in very good graces with him. Do you know anything about that?"

JC shook his head as if telling him not to stress it. "I wouldn't worry about him. He's the most protective of Sarah out of all of us. Hell, she's his little girl and always will be. But he's really harmless. He just wants what's best for his daughter."

"Understandable," Steve replied, "So do I."

They liked the sound of that, even more so that it was sincere. Ken went toward the back of the house. "Take Steve into Dad's office. I'll go get him."

He followed JC and Timmy into the house through the garage door that led to the kitchen. He looked out back, searching for Sarah, but didn't see her. He went into the room and JC closed the door behind them.

"Were you really a Navy Seal?" Timmy asked, taking a seat on the small leather couch.

"Yes," Steve replied, trying to calm his nerves and not wanting to necessarily discuss his military life right now.

"I heard that's really hard to get into. Is it really hard?"

"One of the hardest things I've ever done, but worth it."

"Did they send you on top-secret missions for the Government?"

Steve looked over at him, getting an understanding of this guy. He did talk before he thought. "I think you have Hollywood's version, Timmy. Most of the time I was in training or training novices."

"But you did go out on missions?" he pushed.

"Yes."

JC recalled Sarah telling him how Steve didn't like to talk about his military service too deeply. He thought it admirable of him to keep it low key. He certainly had earned bragging rights in this situation, but had chosen not to exercise them. From what he had gathered from Sarah, Steve was a high ranked Seal that was sent on, and even volunteered for many dangerous missions. The fact that he didn't feel the need to brag about it only made it more commendable. "Let him be Timmy," he said to his little brother. "He's got other, more dangerous things on his mind right now." He grinned over at him.

Steve chuckled, "I think I'm more nervous now then I ever was in the Navy." At that moment the door to the office opened and Ken entered first followed by his father and other brother Todd.

"What the heck is going on," Carl, Sarah's dad said.

Steve took in a deep breath as JC stood up and made the introductions.

"Dad, this is Steve." When that didn't get a reaction out of him except confusion, he clarified. "Sarah's Steve…from Hawaii," he announced as if that would explain everything.

His face lit up, "Oh, well. Wow!" He gave him the once over, seeing the man who she had described and even more impressed with the stature of the live version. She hadn't exaggerated. "Hello there."

Steve shook his hand. "Hello Sir, It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Well you too, Steve. I didn't know you were coming."

"I hadn't planned on it, Sir. I couldn't get away from work but under the circumstance I felt the need to come and explain myself and to talk to you about Sarah. If that's OK?"

He nodded as if telling him that was acceptable. He wasn't anything like he had imagined, on the contrary he was beginning to feel like the Godfather being spoken to in such a formal way. He assumed it was his military training. "What would you like to say?"

"First off," he ignored the brothers in the room, already coming to the conclusion that he was going to have to do this in front of all of them, but it didn't really matter, he was doing it for Sarah more than anyone else. "I want to tell you right off that I meant no disrespect to you or your daughter. I would never do anything to deliberately hurt her. I love Sarah very much. This whole idea of she and I moving in together, it was really just a way to throw her off track. I've planned on proposing to her as soon as she got back to Hawaii, but then when I talked to her the other day she said that you very upset over the idea of us living together without being married. I could hear in her voice how upset she was over that, so I jumped on a plane and here I am to explain myself," he corrected himself. "actually to ask you Sir, if it would be acceptable with you if I asked Sarah to marry me."

"Damn that was pretty good," Ken said, as they all stared at their father, waiting for an answer.

He tried not to show his pleasure too much over what was happening at the moment but he couldn't have been more satisfied with the words that came out. "Do have a ring?" he asked him, knowing how happy this was going to make his daughter.

"Yes Sir." He reached in his pocket and took out the black box, opening it and showing him. "I bought it the day she left."

The four boys all leaned in, two of them whistling over it.

"Nice rock," JC announced.

Carl looked up at Steve, "Very nice." A smile slowly appeared on his face as he looked at the man that would soon become his son-in-law. He had just met him but was already impressed by him. He had always been a good judge of character, knowing when someone was full of it or filling him with B.S., but he saw and heard nothing of that in the last couple of minutes, it was authentic. Sarah had done well for herself, he thought proudly. "Yes, Steve, you have my permission."

He smiled, reaching his hand out. "Thank you Sir. I promise I'll take good care of her."

Ken slapped him on the back. "Welcome to the family Bro."

They all patted his back, acknowledging that fact.

"Not yet," Steve laughed, "I still have to ask Sarah."

Carl put his hand on his back, leading him out the door. "Well gets on that then. I can't take that gloomy look on her face anymore."

"Now?" Steve said a little taken back by that. He hadn't planned on doing it in front of a whole party. This meeting alone was nerve raking, but that made him even more nervous.

"You'll be fine, besides you don't have to worry about her saying no."

Steve went to object, but had a feeling it would have gone out the window. He was already down the hall and threw the kitchen, being led out back by her father. He saw two women in the kitchen staring at him but was too preoccupied by the event that was about to take place.

"Who is that?!" Ken's wife said to him as they led Steve through the kitchen.

Her sister-in-law, Todd's wife asked the same thing.

"Close your mouth's girls," he laughed. "That's Sarah's boyfriend and future fiancé."

"What?!" They both exclaimed simultaneously, dropping what they were doing and coming around the counter following them out the back door.

Steve followed behind Carl as he led him over to where Sarah was sitting.

JC got his mother, dragging her away from a conversation as she objected.

"Believe me Mom, you'll want to see this," he said, guiding her by the arm.

"Sarah," her father said as they approached her chair. "There's someone here to see you."

She looked up at him as he moved out of the way, showing Steve.

Once he saw her all the nervousness just vanished away. It was as if he had stepped into a world of complete calm that was like being home. It was safe. God he missed her, but more so than that he never knew until that second just how much he really did love her. She was his better half, understanding the meaning of that phrase in full force.

Sarah got up, stunned over seeing him; her mouth open but not able to put two words together from being so surprised. "What? Why?" she stumbled as he smiled at her.

"First things first," he said and put his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "I missed you," he whispered to her.

She felt the same calmness suddenly come over her as well. She breathed in his familiar scent, closing her eyes and just letting the last twenty-four hours slide off her shoulders. He was here. He was really here. "I missed you too."

He pulled back, kissing her cheek. "I'm sorry for all this confusion."

She shook her head, not sure what he was talking about. "Why are you here? Is everything ok?" she asked, concerned.

"Yes," he said, slipping his hand inside her hair and pulling her in, kissing her. He could only see her amongst the others who were standing off to the side watching the display. It was as if they were on an island alone. "I came because I wanted to give you something I should have given you before you left."

She stared up at him becoming intoxicated over the smoldering good looks that she always had been lovesick over, but this time he really had her going. The way he looked at her was mesmerizing. "What did you bring me?"

"This," he smiled, not backing away from her, but reaching in his pocket and taking out the black box. He opened it between them, showing her the diamond ring.

She gasped at not only the surprise over it, but by the beauty of it as well. "Oh my God Steve!" She looked up at him and in a second of clarity she had to know. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

His words came out as if it was divine intervention. He didn't need to plan what he wanted to say, it came straight from his heart. "I know you Sarah, probably better than anyone else. And you know me better than I want anyone else ever too. I'm not doing this for me, or for you. I'm doing it for us. We belong together."

She couldn't believe she was in this place at this second, knowing it was coming at any second. The moment she'd been waiting for. It had arrived. She stared at him, trying to see him through the tears that filled her eyes.

"I don't want to wait. I want to marry you now." He smiled over the look on her face, it was exactly what he had hoped for. He took the ring out of the box and reached down for her left hand, slipping it on her finger. "Will you marry me Sarah?"

She stared at his mouth, hearing the words that lifted her up until she felt like she was floating. Nothing could have prepared her for the feelings that rushed through her. She was in the most wonderful place at that second, and knew nothing would ever top this moment. She laid her head on his shoulder, sliding her arms around his chest, hugging him and feeling his cheek rest against hers as he hugged her back. "I love you," she cried.

"I love you too." He leaned back, looking down at her closed eyes that left damp spots on his shirt. "Is that a yes then?" he chuckled.

Sarah laughed, pulling back, nodding her head. "Yes," she said, wiping her eyes, feeling the excitement grow. "Oh my God, Yes! Yes!" she shouted.  
Her mother reached over and squeezed her husband's hand as she wiped her own eyes clear as the others around them cheered and clapped.

Steve gripped her around the waist and leaned back, lifting her off the ground as she held tightly around his neck and kicked her feet back and forth excitedly. He set her back down as she looked up at him. "We are going to be so great together," Sarah declared.

Steve huffed, "We already are."

She stood up on her tippy toes and gave him one of her stellar kisses that he confessed was one of the things he loved most about her.

Ken came up first and reached his hand out to Steve, "Welcome to the club buddy. It feels like hell sometimes but you won't regret it either."

Steve laughed shaking his hand. "Thanks. I think."

JC hugged Sarah first and then moved as their mother made her way over.

"Mom!" Sarah said excitedly, hugging her tightly.

"Oh Sarah. That was beautiful." She broke away from her and went to Steve, cupping his face with her hands, like she would do her own sons when she was proud of something they did. "I'm the Mother and just let me say, well done. Well done!" She reached up and hugged him.

"Thank you," he looked over at Sarah as her father hugged her next, saying something to her that Steve couldn't hear. She smiled over at him, which made him feel it was something good.

They spent the remainder of the night maneuvering amongst the crowd as Sarah introduced him to Aunts, Uncles, cousins and old friends of the family. By the time the last person left it was just her family as well as her grandparents.

Sarah handed Steve a fresh beer as they sat in chairs by the pool with her brothers. Her grandfather came up and shooed Timmy out of the chair next to him and took the seat. "Sarah tells me you were a Navy man, Steve."

"Yes Sir," Steve replied.

"So was I. Senior Chief Petty Officer. I served two tours in Vietnam, running a river boat down the Mekong Delta in 66 and 67."

Steve shifted in his chair, giving him his full attention. "That was the beginning. There was heavy firepower coming down on those riverboats. That was a gutsy job I heard."

"I lost a lot of good friends. I think that's why I signed up for another tour. I felt I owed it to them to get back in the fight. No one understood that except the guys I was fighting with."

Steve nodded, understanding it all too well. "Never back down and never let them think they have control." He remembered that was something his drill Sergeant repeated over and over while he was in boot camp. To this day he lived by that rule.

"That's right son, that's exactly right." He hadn't spoken of his Vietnam days for years, simply because he seldom ran into anyone anymore that had served. Steve may not have been in the Vietnam War but he knew he had served in battles that were just as dangerous. "What about you. Where did you serve?"

Steve had no qualm about rattling off his duties to this man. "After graduating from the Naval Academy. It was suggested by my Commanding officer that I attend BUD training to become a SEAL. I served four years in Afghanistan. Three of those years were for CIA OPS that called me out for special duty. I was promoted to Lieutenant Commander and finished my career heading a special task force for Naval Intelligence that's sole propose was the war on terrorism."

His expression showed his impressiveness over his credentials. "So you did highly secret missions that were called out by top officials."

"Yes Sir."

JC sat forward in his chair, "When you say top officials, who do you mean?"

Steve didn't answer but her grandfather did. "The President, JC."

"You got orders from the President?" Ken asked, astounded by that.

Steve laughed, "Not exactly. My Commanding officer did."

"But then you were handed the mission, right?"

Steve only nodded.

"Holy shit," Ken said. "You're a bad ass."

"With all due respect Ken. You're grandfather here is what I would consider a bad ass. I heard stories from my Commanders who served with the guys who traveled those rivers. They were fearless. The banks were lined with heavy artillery and the boats were usually loaded with ammo they were supplying the troops. You had to have balls of steel to make those trips." He looked over at him. "You guys were serious gun fighters."

"Is that true Grandpa?" Todd asked, their attention being diverted to him instead.

He nodded and went into a story about how they had been stranded during a battle and had to hold off approaching enemy boats until air strike could arrive. All four of his grandson's on the edge of their seats never hearing a story like this from him before.

Sarah reached over and took Steve's hand, knowing he didn't want it to seem to her brothers that he was the impressive one, but also knowing that he was just as impressed by her grandfather as the others, even though he was the multi decorated and higher ranked of the two.

He looked over at her and smiled, caressing his thumb over the diamond ring on her finger.

* * *

Sarah tapped gently on the door to the room her mother had set Steve up in. She went to open it but it was locked, which surprised her. She went to tap again when he opened it, blocking her entrance.

"Hi," she whispered, "why is it locked?"

"Because I knew you'd try to get in."

She chuckled over that and went to enter but he closed the door a little more, shaking his head. "No way Sarah. You aren't coming in."

"What?" she stammered, "Why not?"

"If your parents didn't mind us sleeping together your mom would have put us in the same room."

Sarah put her hand on his bare chest, trying to entice him. "Didn't you miss me. I missed you."

"Of course I missed you."

"Then let me come in. They're asleep anyway. I'll be quiet."

Steve had to hold back his laugh on that statement.

Sarah playfully smacked him. "I can be quiet. Come on." She ran her hand down his chest, inching closer to his crotch.

He grabbed her hand, "Sarah, I'm serious. We are not having sex in your parent's house. You're dad will kill me."

"He will not. He loves you."

"And I'm not going to screw that up by letting you in here."

"Don't you want me?"

He looked at her like that was a low blow. "You know I do. All the time, but not here."

"Then let's go someplace else."

He raised an eyebrow over that suggestion. "Where?"

"Put a shirt on," she smiled.

* * *

Sarah pulled up ten minutes later in front of a vacant house.

"Where are we?" Steve asked.

"My parents own this house. It's a rental that's in between tenants right now."

"So it's still technically your parent's house," he reminded her.

She gave him a look before rolling her eyes. "Don't be such a chicken." She reached over the backseat for the blanket.

"I'm not a chicken," he defended as they both got out. "But this would be technically breaking and entering."

"Not if you have a key." She declared, walking to the side of the house. "He keeps one under the planter in the back for when workers have to come over." She glanced over her shoulder at him, "Come on goody two shoes. Live on the edge."

"Are you calling me a wussy?"

"Not technically, but if you are feeling it then…" She shrieked as he came running up, wrapping both arms around her waist from behind.

"Get me in that house and I'll show you a thing or two about living on the edge." He kissed her neck.

"Oh my, and no one will hear me screaming out in a vacant house."

Steve laughed, "Be as loud as you want."

Once inside they scanned the dark living room, not wanting to turn the lights on. "Which room?" Sarah asked him.

He walked by, taking her hand. "The master of course."

She laid the blanket out as he slipped his shoes off and then took his shirt off, not waiting for her to do the same and laid down on it, pulling her with him so she was on top of him.

"You did miss me," she smiled, but his response was in a kiss, rolling her over so he was on top of her now. That move alone told her he was serious in his endeavor but it also sent her heart racing as his hands began to magically and impatiently remove her clothes.

"I want you so bad," he whispered to her before kissing her again.

She reached down and slipped her shorts and panties off as he moaned softly, making his way down her now naked body. His hands roaming over the woman who would become his life partner in not only sex, but also all the good and bad that came with life, and he couldn't have been more pleased with his choice. "You're so perfect, Sarah," he said between kisses that covered her stomach.

Her hands caressed his back and over his shoulders, looking down at him as the ring on her finger shown even in the dark. "I love you so much."

That did it. He moved up on her taking possession of her lips.

She let out a gasp as he entered her. It always felt good but there was something about this time that was even more pleasurable. They had made that ultimate commitment and she knew now that he was hers for life. It was amazing the feelings that arose just over that simple realization.

He couldn't get close enough to her, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her in and pushing deeper inside her, "I need you so much Sarah, don't ever leave me."

"I won't," she promised. "I'll never leave you."

He searched out her lips, kissing her as they clung to each other, proving the effect of the bond they had created. The passion between them was explosive and on a whole new level, giving each other that freedom and pleasure of knowing they were loved.

They finished at the same time.

* * *

Sarah lay with her head on his chest as he slowly glided his fingertips up and down her back. They discussed wedding plans and possible dates when Steve suddenly raised his head off the floor. "What was that?"

Sarah lifted hers off his chest. "What?"

Lights suddenly came on in the house.

* * *

Steve sat in the front yard of the rental house with Sarah next to him. He glanced over at her as she tried to stifle her smile as he fumed, angry with himself for letting her talk him into that. Sarah shifted, trying to scoot over to him.

"Don't move around or they'll leave marks on your wrists," he said dryly.

They sat still, both their hands cuffed behind their backs.

The other officer came up and flashed the light on them. "With no ID on either of you, and even though you are claiming this is your Father's house and you are a police officer, we're going to have to get someone to ID you or take you in until we can get proper identification on both of you."

"I told you who I was," Steve said coolly. "All you have to do is call it in to your database and they'll send you a photo ID of me."

"Maybe so, but you should know that this is still breaking and entering until we can get confirmation from the owner."

"Can I call my father?" Sarah asked.

"The neighbor called him. He should be here in a couple of minutes."

Sarah looked over at Steve as he dropped his head and painfully moaned over that piece of information.

She couldn't hold it in and busted out laughing over their situation.


End file.
